themommylogues

Important blog announcement!

2011-09-29T23:01:00.002-05:00

Ha! That's sort of overstating things. It makes me say in my head "My...don't we think highly of ourselves?"

This place will always be my bloggy first love, but for now, I'm not sure when I'll be back. Maybe I'll post here on occasion, maybe this is it. I don't know.

Meanwhile, I'll be hanging out at my new digs: sarahs32flavors. If you were relieved when you thought it was over, just don't click on that link. But I'd sure love to have you over at the new place!

One year ago today...

2011-09-14T13:45:00.005-05:00

It started out like any other school morning. No, that's not true at all.

One year ago today I found out my panic over having my water break while sleeping was completely justified. I found out it was very good I had my stylist trim my bangs the week before, because I wasn't going to make it to my hair appointment. I walked Natalie into school. After my water had broken. I told the girls that I thought I'd be having the baby that day, because some of the things that happen when you're going to have a baby were happening. I will never forget Ella's response, "Oh. Because we had the baby shower?" Yes. EXACTLY.

I headed over to the clinic because I had an appointment, and that's where my doctor was. I scared the poor receptionist to death. "I know I'm very early for my appointment, but the hospital told me to go ahead and come in since I'm pretty sure my water broke." Poor, poor receptionist. She was far more flustered than I was. I had to calm her down.

My doctor confirmed we'd be having a baby that day. Despite the fact that I had a due date of September 26, or October 2, depending on what you liked to pay attention to (Zoey measured much smaller than her actual age on the ultrasounds - still does). So we headed to the hospital. Well, we had two cars at the clinic, so I drove home first. Alone. In labor. I don't know what I was thinking, except that I was fine.

For a girl who seemed ready to show up, she sort of took her sweet time after that. My water had broken at 6:30 am, and she wasn't born until 7:44 pm. My longest labor of the 3. Still shorter than many people's so I shouldn't complain. Except for the part where I essentially gave birth on no drugs, because the second shot of nubane didn't work.

My sweet girl was born! Poor baby was so sleepy. And why shouldn't she have been? It is very hard work to be born. Plus, she made it even more of a challenge by wiggling around all day. I knew contractions were coming when she started kicking - it's not particularly pleasant that way. But here she was and she was beautiful! And nameless. We tried a few out on her, but didn't settle it until the next morning.

I think in the end we chose well. Zoey means "life" or "lively." And I'll tell you what, Tiny Girlfriend likes to push the envelope. She does everything when SHE feels like it. Sleeping, eating, napping - there is no scheduling this child. But when she has felt like it, she's an awesome sleeper, a good eater, and a pro napper. And these days she feels like it more often than not.

And oh - those sweet smiles, that belly laugh...I'm not sure which of the four of us is more in love with her.

Happy birthday, sweet girl.

In which I declare my eternal love for Facebook

2011-08-19T13:39:00.003-05:00

Wow. Let's just pretend I intentionally took a month+ off.

Recently I've had a few Facebook friends either bid the FB world goodbye or drastically reduce their friend lists. I get it. I do. I mean, let's not pretend that Facebook isn't a colossal time suck. Even I know that. And I've got "friends" on Facebook that I've never met in real life. Friend of a friend of a friend. I can see wanting to just connect with people that you actually connect with in real life.

But let me tell you why I'll keep all my friends, thankyouverymuch. Everyone in our house has some sort of summer crud going on. I actually had a fever last night. We all cough all night. No one sleeps. The weather's been amazing, and we're too busy hacking up our lungs to enjoy it. So I popped on Ye Olde Facebook this week and asked for some Princess Bride quotes to brighten the day.

Oh, Friends. The rest of my day was peppered with:

Inconceivable!
Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line!
Is this a KISSING book?
Sleep well and dream of large women.
Wuv, twue wuv...
Hallo. my name is Indigo Mantoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

And there were so many more! From people I talk to all the time, from people I never get to see. People I've known forever and people I've just met.

And it completely made my day.

The Delightful Wedding

2011-07-07T20:52:00.001-05:00

I'm not done with the Fortunate Series. I'm sure there will be more. But I thought it would be nice to change gears and do a little update. And then I realized a third of the summer was already gone. I am simultaneously thrilled and heartbroken. Hooray, back to school routine is imminent! Boo, we have a limited time left of flexibility.

Anyway.

The girls and I recently embarked on a trip back to our homeland for nephew Jeremy's lovely wedding to the delightful Rachel (Must do more blogging! I am Descriptive today!). Captain America had a freak project come up that meant he couldn't get away. While it was commonplace at the Old Job, it's a rarity at the New Job. So I went with three children by myself. For 5 hours. One way. To my parents house. Parents, who were in Germany. The girls were really fantastic travelers, or I might have died.

Bonus! I got to see my aunt & uncle and a cousin & his family who I hadn't seen in about 3 years. It was so good to see them, and watch my kids play with my cousin's kids. If I were feeling really nostalgic, I'd say it felt like passing on some sort of legacy. Unfortunately, it perpetuated the theory my cousin has that Captain America doesn't exist. The last time I'd seen them on a trip to Wyoming, Captain America was also stuck working (at the Old Job).

So we all went to the Lovely Wedding. And I have to say, I was sort of transported back to my own wedding day. It was a small wedding in a small church with a small wedding party. And a whole lot of cake. It doesn't seem like mine was that long ago. Only the kids who were at my wedding are now grownups. Really great grownups. And one was the groom.

Wedding highlights:

Nephew/Groom WROTE the processional. As in, he composed music. Which was the processional. And it was beautiful. If it hadn't said he'd written it in the program, I would have sat there wondering where the beautiful song came from. And then the romantic in me thought it was the coolest thing ever that he wrote the song for his bride, and I imagined him sitting somewhere thinking of the music that would be in the air when she walked down the aisle to him and writing each note of it down. (You'd think I'd spent my entire summer reading love stories. But I haven't. I haven't had time.)
The Bride. Oh, she was lovely! It was kind of an ivory lace affair and her hair was curled and partially pulled back and she skipped the veil altogether and the whole picture was perfectly fitted to the day.
The cake. It was delicious. And we were encouraged to eat seconds. YES.
I have three children. Which means I am now handing the baby to strangers without caring. I gave Zoey to the catering lady while I helped the older girls get food.
Nephew and Niece (elementary students at my wedding - GAH) have turned into such nice grownups. Not that I wondered. But they really have. Ella has always been very excited to see Jeremy, and even though it was his wedding day and he would have been more than allowed to brush her off, he was so patient with her attention. And I don't mean patient as in tolerant, I mean patient like he didn't even seem to mind. And Shelby is always making conversation or whisking the girls around. Heck, even the best man taught Ella the Macerena.
I did not get a speeding ticket.

For the trip home, I had downloaded an audiobook of Ramona and Beezus narrated by Stockard Channing. I thought maybe it would buy me a half hour til the girls got sick of it or Zoey screamed so loud they couldn't hear it. IT BOUGHT ME THE WHOLE STINKING TRIP. Any time I paused it to pull over for a potty break or lunch or gas, the girls piped up "What happened?! Can you turn it back on?" And Zoey alternated quietly playing with her toys and sleeping. Quietest car ride ever. Mad props to Stockard Channing on a fantastic reading. And genuine thanks to God for a trip that could easily have gone the opposite way.

So congratulations, Newlyweds! It was so wonderful to be there. I hope in 13 years you are invited to a similar wedding that brings up all kinds of warm fuzzy moments from your own.

A Series of Fortunate Events #6: In which we buy a house (deja vu)

2011-06-28T13:10:00.003-05:00

It took longer than we hoped it would to sell our house. But there are plenty of people out there who've had to sit on a house for years, so I can't complain. However, the selling of our house definitely would not fit in this series. It was more of a series of UNfortunate events, at least for us. Once it was FINALLY done, we were ready to buy a house here. We called up our super lovely real estate agent from the rental hunting.

We tried to stay in the same sort of area, so that our girls could stay at the school we had fallen in love with. Originally, I'd really thought I wanted a split level. Our rental was a split level, and after living in one for a few months, its glamour had worn off. So we were no longer looking for that.

We went to open houses, we checked places out with our realtor, and we did innumerable drive bys. After a few visits to one house, we were really excited about the potential. It had a master bedroom upstairs and down, and it had a couple of bedrooms with a pocket door in between. So perfect for the girls! We'd have to do quite a bit of painting (so creative with the colors, these owners were). But the layout was pretty good, for the most part. Biggest drawbacks: the backyard was right on a major highway, and there was a pool. The highway issue was iffy. It had the concrete wall, so it probably wasn't TOO noisy. But the pool. Two problems there.

1. I am a Nervous Parent.

2. Captain America and I are not really maintenance pros or fixit people. Sounded like a lot of work and expense for the 3 months out of the year you can use it.

We were ready. Time to put in an offer. We'd either tear out the pool, or figure out what to do with it. Get the girls some swimming lessons. Get a giant fence to keep out neighbor kids, which was my biggest worry (just last summer a girl here in town wandered into a neighbor's pool and drowned - so sad).

My parents were coming down for the weekend, and we thought it'd be nice to have my dad take a look at it before we made anything official. I think it was a Thursday when we made our appointment with our realtor for Saturday. On Friday she called to say, "There's another one going on the market Monday just a few blocks away - do you want to see that one while we're out?"

Saturday we went and looked at the house again. It seemed workable. The pros outweighed the cons. Then we headed over to the next house. It had a similar layout. Only it didn't have the pool that made us nervous. And it didn't have a highway in the backyard, IT HAD A PARK. SOLD! After one look (just like our first house), we put in an offer. We had it all settled before the MLS realtors got to look at it.

The best part? That other house would not have worked nearly as well for the baby we ended up adding. Also, by the time we ended up moving I was pregnant enough to tell people, and I didn't have to carry anything! Or scrub the floors of the rental on my hands and knees!

We're no longer in exactly the right school zone, but we're close enough that we can stay (unless numbers at either of the schools get completely out of whack). This house has been just perfect for us. The timing was everything!

A Series of Fortunate Events #5: In which we find a rental

2011-06-23T16:13:00.000-05:00

If you'll remember back on Series #3, we moved. Because of a wedding. After Captain America accepted his new job, the company set us up with a realtor to help us transition. We brought the girls with us for a marathon day of rental and house shopping. No really. NINE HOURS STRAIGHT.

We weren't sure at first if we wanted to go ahead and buy a new place, or if we should rent for a while to make sure we liked the particular area and sold our other house. So we spent an entire day looking at various housing options. With a 4 yr old and an almost 6 yr old. Our realtor was incredibly patient, and one of the first I've ever met who seemed to have no desire to push us out of a price range we were comfortable with.

We found a house we really liked. But we had no idea how long our house would take to sell. And we had no idea if it was a neighborhood we'd want to be in. The yard was the size of a postage stamp, but that really appealed to Captain America, who had to spend 2 hours to mow our yard.

We decided to check out plenty of rental options as well. Quite a few were easy to dismiss. Funny smells. Strange layouts. Too small. No place for me to work. We found one that we liked. Nice layout, nice looking neighborhood, nutty landlord. He spent the entire time talking about how much he hated DirecTV, and if we rented from him we were banned from ever getting it. We'd be tied to a year lease, which was a little tough since we wanted more freedom to buy something once our house sold. One more place to check...

The last place was a side-by-side duplex, split level. It was a little tough to look real closely, because the family that currently lived there was home (awkward). But it was nice, too, because we could ask them questions. Our realtor smooth talked the landlord into a 9 month lease by offering to help him rent it again when we were leaving. We had lunch, looked at a few more places, and decided to go with it. He had another appointment to show it at 5, and we knew it would rent quickly.

At the time we were just looking for a place that would work for the short-term. But what ended up happening, is it put the girls in the most amazing school! They've had two years of the most fantastic teachers, in a really great facility. That was the only place we looked at in 9 hours that was in the right zone for that particular school. We knew nothing about the schools in the area, so we had no idea to try and choose it. There's a lot of good schools around here, but I can't imagine a better one for us.

A Series of Fortunate Events #4: In which we buy a house

2011-06-22T15:52:00.003-05:00

I don't know if you've gotten this impression yet, but Captain America likes to be prepared. He is also extremely fiscally responsible. Before we were even ready to buy our first house, we made an appointment at the bank. We thought maybe in a year we'd be ready to buy a house, and we just wanted to know what we needed to do in the meantime to make that happen. We were at our Lake Wobegon bank, talking to one of the VPs. I don't think he dealt much with people asking about loans they might like to get a year from now. But I'll tell you what, it made the process an absolute piece of cake.

After a while, we started house browsing, so we'd know what was available and to get a better feel for what we could get for the amount of loan we were comfortable with taking out. We looked at many, many houses. Big houses and little houses. Starter houses. Two bedrooms. Three bedrooms. Two levels. Ranch/rambler. In town. On the edge of town. Just a lot of houses.

We finally got to the point where we were ready to actually think about buying one. After much, much looking, we found one we thought we liked. We didn't love everything about it, but there were a lot of things we liked very much. Of course, being Lake Wobegon, we knew the people who owned it. That added a little extra comfort because we knew they were most likely taking good care of it. It had shiny wood floors. And new cupboards. But it was also old, and had a tricky staircase that made it so you couldn't get more than a full-size bed upstairs. It had a nice porch. And a cute backyard. But no garage that you could really park in. Pluses and minuses like every house. We'd checked it out a few times. We were doing our final pre-offer walk through and were very nervous because we just wanted to make sure we made the right decision. When we were done, the realtor said, "Well, just so you have another comparison, another house just came on the market that we can check out."

So off we went. It was a rambler (or a ranch - I think it's a regional thing like soda or pop). It was the most outdated house I'd ever seen. It had dark green, inch-long shag in the living room. There was burnt orange linoleum in the kitchen. The bathroom had old gray carpet, and flocked red velvet wall paper. It was really awful. But we saw some potential. If you looked past the decor, it was a great little house. The backyard was ginormous (which seemed like a great idea at the time). It had a two car garage.

Just like that, we switched everything and put in an offer on the new house. After the usual negotiations, we bought our very first house. We gradually made some updates. My first babies were born while we lived there (not actually at the house - I'm not a Duggar for petessake). And when it was time for Ella to go to kindergarten, we lived right across the street. I watched her walk home every day.

But what if we hadn't made just one more stop? I'm sure we would have been perfectly happy in the other house as well, but this one really was a perfect fit for us.

A Series of Fortunate Events #3: In which we move

2011-06-08T16:40:00.004-05:00

In late October, early November of 2008, we headed to Southwest Wisconsin for a wedding. We'd never thought much of that area, let alone actually been there. Captain America's job was really stressing him out, so we were looking forward to our weekend getaway. We'd heard Southeast Minnesota was really beautiful, but as we headed south of the Twin Cities for Rochester, I wondered what these people were thinking. More flat farmland! Nothing wrong with it, just not any different than what we were used to seeing. Only minus the pretty lakes.

Then as we approached the area, we started the descent through the river bluffs. Wow. That was kind of pretty. Then we crossed the Mississippi. And also the Black River. Apparently 7 rivers met there. Who knew?

We checked into our cutesy northwoods style hotel, and when we opened the curtains, we could see a field, with river bluffs behind it. A few deer were frolicking in the field. I'm not kidding. We had the evening free, so we drove around a bit and had dinner. We joked about moving there. "Look at our new Barnes and Noble!" "Let's walk around our new mall!" It was just sort of nice to pretend. We had a lovely weekend, and we went home.

The following spring, it was clear Captain America needed a new job. We started looking around. Didn't see anything in our area. We looked at cities closer to where we were. One day we sort of off the cuff said, "Let's just throw Wisconsin in the mix." We didn't think anything would come of it.

Captain America wasn't having much luck. Then he found a job description at a place in the town we'd visited. It seemed ideal for him, but he didn't want to get his hopes up. After a couple of phone interviews, we were driving back through those bluffs. This time for an interview. We had to change our tourist point of view and try to figure out if it was a place we were willing to live.

Apparently all it takes for me to feel at home is a hilly descent overlooking a body of water. I've had that in the only three towns I've ever lived in, and that drive always feels like I'm being told, "Welcome back...we missed you..."

After a lot of discussion and prayer, it seemed like a good fit. It's been almost two years, and it's still a good fit.

All because we went to a wedding.

A Series of Fortunate Events #2: In which I lose my keys

2011-06-01T09:00:00.000-05:00

I've written about how Captain America and I met before. But now it's the next in my Series of Fortunate Events. Which will last as long as I write them. Which means this could very well be the last installment. Sad.

Picking up where we left off (see Event #1), I met Captain America at a movie night. He offered me Pepsi (a fact which proves he had a lot to learn about me). He and his roommates were set to give me a ride back to campus, since they were in on-campus apartments and I was in the dorms. On the way I realized I'd left my keys in my dorm room. It was now after midnight, and the dorm system was locked up nice and tight. I went to their apartment to call my new roommate. My new roommate who wasn't home yet. So I waited at their apartment until she came in an hour or so later. Or several hours. I don't know.

Can I stop for a minute here? Just to say: Thank you, Jesus. Thanks for putting me in the middle of a group of people whose idea of a wild night was ordering a bread bowl at Perkins and walking around the park *after it closed at 10 pm* (oooooo) and not in the middle of a mess of drunken hockey players where this story might not be such a highlight of my life. Because, frankly, the chances of the drunken soiree were probably a whole lot better. And I'd run off to college up for whatever. That is to say, unopposed to the drunken hockey party.

We all sat around and talked forever. Laughed. Listened to music. When I finally got a hold of my roommate to let me in, Captain America offered to walk me back to my dorm. The next day I called him to get help finding my classes. I think we were dating a week later.

All because I went to a bike camp in 8th grade, and then lost my keys as a brand new college freshman.

Fortunate, indeed.

Fortunate Events: In which I get a sunburn and a husband

2011-05-31T11:39:00.006-05:00

I've been brainstorming on how to get myself back into the swing of blogging, because truthfully, I've missed it.

I thought of a whole lot of nothing, but for the last few weeks I've been thinking about different chains of events. Things that could have gone a million different ways, and only after did I see how God had orchestrated everything just so.

With that, I give you the first in a Series of Fortunate Events. (Not to be confused with another series.)

Fortunate Event #1

When I was growing up, I went on a bike camp. It was a compromise with my dad to avoid the canoe camp fate my sister had already been through. It was a fundraiser-turned-camp. We biked 150 miles or something over...I don't know...some days? It's a little hazy, lo these many years later. We collected pledges and raised money for Operation Classroom, which helped build and support schools in Sierra Leone. I think I was maybe in 8th grade. Biking was not my favorite, but it beat the idea of canoeing in the Boundary Waters. Although, I DID have to have my dad along as one of the camp counselor/chaperones. So I'm not sure between my sister and I who won/lost. All I know is, I got the worst sunburn ever on the tops of my legs because it didn't occur to me how much they'd be in the sun. And I'm a burner.

Hold that thought.

Flash forward five or so years.

Every year my family went to the North Shore on Lake Superior over Labor Day weekend. We usually stayed at a cabin at Cascade Lodge. Cascade is the epitome of family vacation to me. Eating pancakes at the restaurant. Hiking in the woods and eating wild raspberries along the way. Waterfalls. Rock throwing. If I think really hard, I can smell the delicious North Shore smells right now.

The weekend before I started my senior year of high school, we went to Cascade as usual. We were eating in the restaurant, and our waiter looked really familiar to me. He looked familiar to Dad, too. I knew his name was Paul, but I didn't know how I knew that. His nametag confirmed it. Hmmm...

After a few minutes it came to me: Paul had been on the bike camp! We all talked and caught up, and sure enough, he remembered all the biking. Paul was currently a student at University of Minnesota-Duluth, which happened to be where I was planning to go the following year. We exchanged information, and I decided in a year, I'd give him a call.

One year later...

I did call Paul. The first day I was at UMD. He was one of the only people I knew there. He invited me to go to a friend's house for movies. When we got there, I sat in a room full of strangers. 18 years old. First days of college. Somebody next to me offered me some Pepsi...you might know him as Captain America...

But that's for another Series of Fortunate Events.

Random Saturday!

2011-05-14T10:24:00.002-05:00

Are your Saturdays filled with random things like mine? All the things you didn't have time for this week? Here are a few random thoughts I'm having:

My baby is 8 months old today. EIGHT. She's losing that tiny baby look, and getting the look of a pre-toddler. And the mobility - YIKES.
Ella was taken down by a nasty, nasty stomach flu this week. Poor thing. For two days after she just laid still and sipped water.
It was pointed out to me on my birthday that this is my crucifixion year. As in, I'm 33, and that's how old Christ was when he was crucified. And for extra oomph? My next birthday will be on Easter.
I'm hoping to get a baby gate this weekend, because I'm growing weary of all the picking up the baby and moving her back to the middle of the room I'm in.
I would like to reduce the amount of "toys" in the playroom by half. It's toy overload. I see a trip to Goodwill in my weekend.
Do you overbook an open Saturday? I do. I wake up and the day is full of possibilities. I will go garage saling. Maybe I should run to the yummy bakery? I'm going to clean out the playroom, and take a load to Goodwill. I'm going to get some groceries. Ella needs a gift for a party tomorrow. I'm going to talk to the cell phone people about my plan. Hey! We should go to a movie today! I'm going to catch up on work. I'm going to make the baby a whole lotta baby food. We should play Bananagrams! Need to do 84 loads of laundry. And clean the bathroom. And vacuum. {In reality, I'll hopefully get through 3 loads of laundry and get the gift for Ella's party. I'll probably get to groceries, since there's really no food until I do.}

Finally, I read some books. Please enjoy these minimalist reviews:

Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls - It was good. Very easy to read in small spurts, which is often all I have. I'll look for her other books.

Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay - If you don't like deep sadness, do NOT read this book. Holocaust. Child death. Furthermore, I feel like the ending should have been longer or shorter. I had too much info, or not enough. It was powerful, but very sad.

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen - It was good. Liked the style. It made me want to visit the circus museum in Baraboo, WI, since it's almost in my 'hood.

Happy Saturday!

In which we take a road trip.

2011-04-28T22:01:00.002-05:00

{side note: I really admire the writings of A.A. Milne. I love that the chapters are named "In which..." And clearly, I love the Capitalizing Important Words.}

We did it! We took a trip! With a baby! Last week we hopped in Ye Olde Minivan, and headed for parts unknown. Only they were known. We spent a couple of days in Kansas City, and a couple in Omaha. Because when you hear "spring break" -- who DOESN'T head to Omaha? Are ya with me?

No?

Well it was fun. The girls had a blast. The highlight of Kansas City was Kaleidoscope. It's next to the Hallmark museum. They basically take scraps from Hallmark, and utensils from Crayola, and you let your kids go to town crafting. In other words: ELLA AND NATALIE HEAVEN. And it's free. FREE! It was an hour of non-stop crafting excitement. They thought it was the best thing ever. (While they were busy filling their take home bags with Important Artwork, Captain America wrote me a little book in kid style. I love him.)

The next day we headed to Omaha. Home of The Zoo. Have you seen this zoo? Have you been? OH MY WORD. Over 6 hours we were there. SIX. Six! We didn't sit through any demonstrations or shows. We didn't go to the imax. We just wandered around looking at animals. For 6 hours. Every animal but an elephant. They were having their habitat cleaned or landscaped or remodeled, so they were off out of view for a bit. But every other animal I can think of was there. Some of them were in the world's largest geodesic dome, which houses the world's largest indoor desert. Some of them were in the world's largest indoor rainforest.

Now, aside from having beaucoup animals, let me tell you the other fantastic features of this zoo. It was chilly the day we were there. I thought we might freeze our petuties off. But of our 6 hours of animal watching, most of it was indoors. Some of those animals would have been outside if it was nicer, but we were also able to see them inside. Also? There was only one place we couldn't take the stroller - the very small Butterfly house. Everywhere else we were able to keep a kid in a stroller. I remember going to Brookfield Zoo in Chicago when Natalie was a tiny baby. We were forever having to park the stroller and carry her through exhibits. Not fun.

Also? Zoey was a traveling ROCKSTAR. Out of the 14 or so hours we spent in the car, I'd bet she cried for 20 minutes. And she calmed down when her sisters sang their magic baby whisperer song. There was no hardcore screaming. She was perfectly happy just to be out and about.

All of the above made for a delightful trip for us all. I didn't even bring a computer (WHAT??). We just got to hang out together. And I think the 4 nights was a perfect trip length, because I came home in love with my children, and not quite ready to be back. That's really the way you should leave a vacation. I wasn't ready to drop them off at their teacher's houses or anything! They were all just lovely, lovely girls. We got very lucky this time around.

It probably didn't hurt that Vacationing Captain America thought Ella and Natalie needed a ONE POUND BAG of candy EACH at the bulk candy store. And I was easily bought off with Cheesecake Factory cheesecake.

Hooray for vacation!

Tweet, Tweet

2011-04-14T00:21:00.002-05:00

I've recently rekindled my relationship with Twitter. I'd been ignoring it for the longest time. I'm sorry, Twitter. You'd think I came back because I had something to say. Judging by the fact that my tweets are things like "still working" and "I'm so full," that clearly isn't the case.

Nope. It was a snake that wooed me back. Not that I'm a fan of snakes in general. But did you see when the Bronx Zoo's Cobra went missing? When that happened, the cobra got on Twitter. @bronxzooscobra has to be the most enjoyable thing to happen to my computer in a long time.

First the snake hit the town, tweeting all the way:

"Holding very still in the snake exhibit at the Museum of Natural History. This is gonna be hilarious!"

"Getting my morning coffee at the Mudtruck. Don't even talk to me until I've had my morning coffee. Seriously, don't. I'm venomous."

"If you see a bag of peanuts inexplicably moving along the ground at Yankee Stadium today. Just ignore it. It's probably nothing."

Then the snake was found. (In real life, it never left the Reptile House - they just couldn't see it anywhere.) Now @bronxzooscobra tweets from the inside:

"Just regurgitated my iPhone. Oh, it's ssso on now. You'll never guess what's coming. #freethebronxzooscobra"

"The secret to surviving on inside is to find the biggest snake in here and take him down. That earns you respect in the yard."

"I know the zoo doesn't like it when you tap on the glass, but I don't mind it. In fact, feel free to tap really hard. With a hammer even."

I don't know what to tell you. I've never claimed to be anything but easily amused. A zoo cobra on Twitter is bringing me unimaginable joy. Maybe snakes aren't so bad. At least not the ones with iPhones.

It would make the birthday girl haaaaaaaaappy... Part II

2011-04-08T15:51:00.004-05:00

On this day in history... I WAS BORN! Happy birthday to ME!

Here's the thing. I'm just not having quite as much success with squeezing every last ounce of birthday power as Natalie did. For some reason it seems referring to yourself as "the birthday girl" is less cute on a 33 year old. Furthermore, Natalie is less convinced of the rock solid logic of "it would make the birthday girl happy" when she's not the one saying it. How convenient of her.

But I forge ahead. I have answered my phone "Happy birthday to me" and "Happy Sarah Day." Tonight is game night at the pastor's house. We're bringing cake. Would it be wrong of me to wear a crown? Would it be more wrong to go out and purchase a crown for wearing? A crown that is combination leopard print, feathers and tiara? I might be wrong. If I have time. I also considered wearing a cocktail dress. Just because.

Do you know what DELIGHTFUL thing happened today? I mean, DELIGHTFUL. Full of DELIGHT. The very lovely Gretchen over at Second Blooming gave me a Cherry on Top award. Feast your eyes on its cuteness:

She did not even know it was my birthday. Gretchen is a Real Life Actress. And a Real Life Writer. Her in-laws would make a fantastic tv show, and I have actually told people the story of how she named her son Jude as if she is a Real Life Friend of mine. Always embarrassing to realize you've just started talking about a blog as if you met the person for coffee earlier in the day. Gretchen even takes her little cub scout camping. In the Real Woods. I guess they're LA woods - but that's still more camping than I'm interested in. Now I am to tell you 5 Things I Love About ME. Which I will happily oblige. It is, after all, my birthday:

I am an open book. Ask me even part of a question, and I will bore you with details you never dreamed of wanting to know.
I give a mean 7 & 5 yr old mani/pedi. I used to think I did a pretty good paint job on my own as well, until I started going to places that do all the FAYNCY painting with pretty details and pictures.
I've always really liked my hands & nails. I don't feel the need for fake. Nails. Not hands. That'd just be weird.
I love to sing. Which is not to say I missed my chance on American Idol. I just like to do it. I love having something that instantly makes me happy.
I can be funny. At least I hope that's why people sometimes laugh at me.

That was harder than I thought. And I think I gave a few copout answers.

And now....Five Bloggers I Love:

My sister. I don't just have to say it. I'm linking to a specific post, because I want you to read it.
Mr. Patrick over at Good Morning from Maine. I know him in real life. From before he even had a blog. Go read his series on how he & the Mrs. got together. It's good times.
Bits and Pieces. Also a Real Life Friend. We have discovered we are like scary clones of each other. Clones. Not clowns. That'd be wrong.
Jersey's Musings. Yet another Real Life Friend. He's always got some interesting travel/restaurant notes. Drop in and say hey - they recently found out his mother-in-law has leukemia and I'll bet he and his lovely wife would appreciate some kind thoughts & prayers.
Are We Still Cool? It's a question I often ask myself. I'm pretty sure the answer is no. It's completely fascinating to me to read about their adventures as they try to raise a couple cute munchkins in NYC.

And there you have it. Thanks again, Gretchen, for the extra special birthday present!

It would make the Birthday Girl haaaaaaaaappy...

2011-04-01T10:11:00.003-05:00

Six years ago today I said to the doctor, "I don't care what day it is. Just induce me." I'd been scheduled to be induced on Thursday, March 31. But when I called into the hospital that morning to say I was coming, they said they were too busy to induce me. So I called my doctor later that day, and he said, "Well, if you're okay with an April Fool's birthday, go in tomorrow. Otherwise we can do it Monday." I apologized to my belly that I was not going to be able to wait until Monday when I had thought I would have had her by now. Tomorrow already seemed pretty far away. So on that April Fool's morning, I got hooked up to pitocin around 7:30 am and Natalie was born by 12:30 pm. Pretty fast for not even being in labor when I got to the hospital.

It was as if Captain America knew she'd be born on April Fool's all along. The moment we knew it was a girl, she was Natalie. And then he started calling her Natalie Gwynn. And I said no. I will not name my baby girl after your favorite baseball player. But he persisted. (Perhaps in response to my affinity for a dead actress?) "How's Natalie Gwynn today? Kicking a lot?" I don't know. It grew on me.

I honestly don't remember much of Natalie's babyhood. Ella was a diaper-wearing, social, busy toddler - that first year is a blur. I do remember Natalie was awesome about going to bed. I could lay her down fully awake and she'd put herself to sleep.

Today Natalie is living it up for her birthday. She is truly her mother's daughter. "Can you pack me a lunch for tomorrow? It would make the Birthday Girl haaaaaappy..." "Ella, do you know what I would like? If one day we didn't fight at all. Could we do it today? It would make the Birthday Girl haaaaaaaaaappy..." And Ella has been playing right along. She sang Happy Birthday to her right away. She got Natalie's clothes ready for her. She did everything this morning, right down to putting toothpaste on her toothbrush, putting on Natalie's rain boots and zipping her coat for her.

So Happy Birthday to my Natalie Gwynn. You are sweet, sensitive, and knowing. Funny and loving. I look forward to seeing what another year brings out of you. And may you always be as big of a birthday junkie as your mommy.

I didn't hear anything. Nope. Not me.

2011-03-22T16:16:00.002-05:00

Funny, but it seems my girls make me the proudest when I'm not even supposed to know what happened. Last night the girls were crafting at the dining room table within earshot of me. They were talking to each other about their days. First of all, I can't get over the cuteness of them off having their own little lives all day, and hearing them talk about it to each other.

Natalie declared it the worst day ever. EVER. Apparently a couple of girls called her Nattie. OH THE HUMANITY. But I hear her. You want to be called what you want to be called. Anything else hurts your feelings. I get it. I had hair issues when I was little. For one, my hair was orange, not red. I guess she asked them to stop and call her Natalie, but they didn't. Cue Sister Bear. If you thought the Mama Bear was tough - watch out.

Ella: "Who was it?"

Natalie: "It was M & A."

Ella: "Well NOBODY teases my sister. Do you sit by them at lunch?"

Natalie: "Sometimes."

Ella: "When I see you at lunch I'll come see if they're teasing you. And if they are I'll tell them to stop. Because NOBODY teases my little sister. Or my BABY sister."

And then she was off on some tangent imagining someone teasing Zoey by calling her tiny. I don't know, I guess I've never heard anyone actually tease a baby. And definitely not for...being a baby. But whatever.

I only wish I could properly convey the attitude and tone that went with these words. Maybe I should have said something, maybe not, I don't know. I don't think it really matters. I just wanted to sit and revel in a moment where they really loved each other, and weren't yelling "STOPIT" or "DON'TTOUCHTHATIT'SMINE!"

Pardon the tissues.

2011-03-21T16:51:00.002-05:00

Please excuse our tissues on every surface. We are all sick. Except Captain America, of course. Superheroes don't get sick. I am diagnosing it as "Spring Crud." It started with Natalie, then Ella, then Natalie again, then Ella again, then Zoey and me. There's a fever that comes and goes willy nilly. There's gunk. And apparently when you get as far into it as Ella and Natalie are, you require boxes of kleenex. And the girls have watched enough television that they request Puffs. With lotion. It has been my joy to teach Natalie about brands and logos. And things like we call them all kleenex, but sometimes they're really Puffs.

I feel like we haven't slept in weeks. Someone is always up. "My nose won't stop running." "I can't stop coughing." "The skin around my nose is very dry." "Wah." {translation: I need my nuk, and please fix my swaddle}

But, much like the grass out there, I press on. Spring is here. There may be a stumbling block of more snow, but Spring is here. And while Winter and I are not really friends, it does make me appreciate Spring and its new life and resurrection. Even when that new life gives us sniffles.

Well this is interesting...you know...for me

2011-03-11T09:30:00.002-06:00

It's been a little hectic around these parts lately. Not like it hasn't been hectic at your house, too. I'm sure it has. How's it going? Better I hope?

Zoey is almost 6 months already. I know! Where has the time gone? She's made some developments. There's a crazy amount of rolling. And she's doing a very modified crawl. She's not strong enough for a formal crawl yet (because she's tiny and not very old), but she likes to get on her stomach, lift up her little bottom, dig her toes in and propel herself forward. Which usually means sliding on her forehead. But a girl's gotta get around, doesn't she?

Yesterday Natalie (still 5) changed Zoey's diaper. She begged me for the chance. I had to hold the little wiggler's legs still for her, but she did a great job. And she wants to help out like that more often. Natalie gets a gold star for the day. And my undying gratitude.

Last night after a series of mildly unfortunate events, we found ourselves heading out to eat. We went to the giant buffet. Which on some level, always makes me a little sad. But the kids eat food when we're there. And that's a really important part of going out to eat. While we were there, Natalie decided she needed to find the restroom. And Ella decided that she needed to be the one to take her. Okay then. So Ella gets a gold star for the day. And also my undying gratitude.

All of these things are making the prolonged winter seem a little easier. I'll see green again. Someday.

I can't handle all this excitement

2011-02-22T12:07:00.002-06:00

Last night we sent the girls down to clean the playroom. It's something that pretty much always needs to be done. After a while Natalie burst upstairs, FREAKING OUT. I have never seen her like that. "This is so BAD! I'm going to be in TROUBLE! I don't think we can get it out! I don't want to tell you!"

What on earth is going on???

"There's a bead UP MY NOSE." I took her in the bathroom and peered up her nostril, thinking I'd just grab a tweezers and pull that puppy out, and it was so far up I couldn't even see it. Ella started running around upstairs with her hands on her head "I AM SO WORRIED!" I took Ella downstairs to show me what the bead looked like. Meanwhile, Natalie, who thought she was going to throw up, ended up blowing the bead out her nose into the toilet. Apparently my strange children had poured plastic beads all over the floor and were sticking their faces in them, until Natalie inhaled one. Good times.

Today Natalie stayed home from school, unrelated to the bead. She's had a cold or allergies that's making her cough every 15 seconds. The sun finally came out today, so we opened up all the blinds. When she walked past a window, I saw her scalp looked dark. I took a closer look, and it was purple. It looked like a horrible dark bruise or something. Or like when you wrap something around your finger and it loses circulation. I asked her if her head hurt or was itchy. She said both. So I put Zoey down and headed to webmd to prepare myself for the call to the nurses. I was about to pull up the articles on psoriasis and some kind of sarcoma and then some other things I'd never heard of but sounded very scary, when Natalie came wandering in the room.

"I think I know why my head is purple."

"Really? Why?"

"It's sand."

"What?"

"It's sand."

"Wait, do you have purple sand at school?"

"Yes."

"And it got in your HAIR?"

"I think so. I told S. not to throw it, but she still did."

So I checked her head again, and sure enough. It wipes off. Because it's sand.

Can you imagine where this story almost went? I almost called a nurse hotline and told them my child had a purple, bruised looking scalp. At which point they would, no doubt, have told me to head straight to the ER, DO NOT PASS GO. Where a doctor would have looked at her head, and said, "She has colored sand in her hair. I prescribe a SHOWER for her problem."

And then I would have actually died from embarrassment. But at least I'd already be in the ER.

The snow has hit the fan.

2011-02-21T11:04:00.003-06:00

Last Thursday it was 55 degrees. The snow was melting to where I could see patches of grass. Whole yards in some places. I was getting my moldy allergy on.

Yesterday when I woke up, I could still see the grass. Then we went to church. And on our way home we drove through 6 inches of snow. Church wasn't THAT long. It spent the rest of the day doing a winter mix of snow and sleet. Not the pretty, fluffy, snowglobe looking snow. Hard snow. That pelts you in the face and stings something fierce. This was the kind of day that would have shut down the entire south for days. But here, nothing was canceled. Still had to go out to swimming lessons in the afternoon. School was still on time today. I still needed Diet Coke at Target. Life moves on.

I am looking so very hard for silver lining today. I have come up with this:

1. The kids weren't cooped up with me for yet another day after having 1 1/2 days off last week for teacher inservice.

2. My allergies went away when everything froze again.

3. I won't have to go to the mailbox since it's Presidents' Day.

And that's what I've got. February is never my best month. Every year I say, "I'm going to take a trip to somewhere warm next February." And then I forget about it. Until it's February. And too late to schedule a trip. Thankfully, there is only one week left of Stupid February.

March? I've got news for you. You'd best not try bringing snowy back, because I have no interest in it.

Hey reader.

2011-02-16T20:29:00.002-06:00

I'm just assuming there's probably just one of you left by now. And it's probably my sister (who knows what I've been up to anyway). I was going to tell you that I was taking a little bloggy sabbatical, but that's probably obvious since I haven't posted in nearly a month. Funny, one of my resolutions was blog more.

I've had plenty of ideas swimming around. Loads of half-written posts in my head. But when I sit down to actually write them nothing happens. I guess everything seems a little silly.

Perhaps after a few more days of my mood lifting with the mercury, I'll be back. Not that it will be better or interesting, but if you happen to drop by Ye Olde Blog, there might actually be something here.

I'll leave you with the latest kid story. Today the girls begged for cold lunch. "Can we PLEASE have lunch boxes??" So I made them some lunch, and for an extra loving touch I put little notes in. Isn't that fun? Won't they feel loved?

After school I said, "Did anybody have anything interesting in their lunch?" Ella said, "I did. A note from you..." {insert me waiting for sweet response} "...that was embarrassing. Other moms don't put notes in their kids' lunches. But it's ok...at least nobody saw it."

Yes. Well. At least nobody saw it.

Sarah

2011-01-21T14:31:00.003-06:00

In high school, Sarah was the kind of girl that was friends with everyone. We had the connection that same-named kids do. We were in some sports together (until I gave those up), and she was an amazing athlete. So quick and such a hard worker. After Captain America and I moved back to my hometown, he ended up working with Sarah for many years. We were pregnant with our first children at the same time, and then our second. We'd swap pregnancy stories. Sarah was still a hard worker. But she always had time for some stories and laughing, and smiled more than most people I know.

The last time I saw Sarah was last summer at a wedding reception. She was there with her 5 yr old daughter, because her husband was home with their sick 7 yr old son (he'd gotten the flu or something that day). They were having such a great time! Every time her daughter wanted to dance, she danced. I remember thinking how I was so relieved to be out without my children, and here she was having the time of her life with one of hers. Not that my children aren't enjoyable, but I noticed how she always seemed to find joy in the moment she was given. I thought about that for a long time. I still do.

I'm sure you can see where this is going by now. On January 12, Sarah collapsed while she was running on her treadmill. Today, her family had her funeral. Sarah was 33. While I didn't see her often, I'm sad that the world will miss out on her smile. And my heart breaks for her husband and kids.

But I know I'm a better person because I knew her.

Oh the possibilities

2011-01-11T16:27:00.002-06:00

Sometime in the midst of Christmas, I was cleaning out my email inbox. Which I always run at an appalling 95% capacity or better. My inbox has over 3,000 messages at any given time. I have no plans to change it, ok? But what this means is every few weeks I need to clean out a month or so worth of the oldest messages before my friends at gmail shut me down. So I scan through the oldest and make sure there's nothing important before I hit the Almighty Delete Button.

This particular group of emails I had to go through brought the memories flooding back. Emails from right when we found out we were expecting Zoey. Me telling Captain America when I could best figure the due date was. Captain America suggesting more sports related names. And an email where he suggested "Zoughee." I had to file all of those away - I just couldn't delete them.

Then I started going through my calendar from last year. I try to do this at the beginning of every year, so I can write down the repeats like birthdays. It was full of doctor appointments.

I'll tell you what, if you'd told me last year as I put the birthdays on the calendar that I'd be filling up the months with prenatal appointments and adding a September birthday, I would have laughed at you. HYSTERICALLY. Well, maybe not hysterically. Because God was already working on our hearts and making us wonder if maybe just one more wouldn't be a good idea. But I still would have been surprised.

So as I transferred things over to 2011, I wondered what this year will bring. Because as I filled in 2009, I never would have dreamed it would end with us in Wisconsin. And I would have had a hard time believing 2010 would end with us as a family of five. But here we are. All five of us. I really can't imagine what 2011 has in store, but I'm excited to find out. Because some of the very best things don't make it on the calendar January 1st.

Good riddance, Christmas break

2011-01-03T10:36:00.002-06:00

I feel like I need a pin or a bumper sticker that says, "I survived Christmas Break 2010." There were a lot of highlights, and Christmas itself was fantastic. But there was no arguing about getting ready for school this morning. And I'm not sure who was out the door faster. A long break like that was just too much togetherness for Ella & Natalie. Zoey didn't really get her quiet naptimes. The toy chaos. The bickering. The constant mess.

Still, I'm not quite ready for Christmas to end. I'm not somebody who is ready to take down the tree on the 26th. Mine will stay up til January 6. At least. I'm still listening to Christmas music. So today, despite the fact that I'm ready for the routine to start again, I'm still kind of longing for Christmas.

The highlights:

Sleeping in. Nearly every morning as Captain America left for work, the rest of us were all in bed.
Jammies. I think Ella & Natalie spent about 90% of their break in jammies. With birds' nests in the back of their hair.
Cookies. So many delicious Christmas treats. And I've got the pants size to prove it.
Christmas Eve. We ended up staying in on Christmas Eve (except for my solo trip to the grocery store with the rest of the town). The girls opened their Christmas jammies and put them on. We set out a buffet of appetizers, opened some IBC root beers for the girls, and watched Elf. Ella declared it THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER. Thus solidifying my theory that Buddy the Elf is Ella's soul mate. "Good news! I saw a dog today!" "I love smiling! Smiling's my favorite!"
Gift opening. We follow one of Captain America's family traditions. We get the gifts out from under the tree, and give them to the people they're from. Then we take turns opening. I love that because it puts more emphasis on the giving than on the getting. Ella and Natalie couldn't wait to open their presents from each other. And they couldn't wait to give their presents to each other. And the opening ended with huge hugs. If this Christmas had a cover, that would be it for me.
The sleeping (during the first half of break). Zoey was an awesome sleeper around Christmas. Her Christmas gift to us was sleeping through the night. DELIGHTFUL. She did it a couple of times, and then I think she got so behind on sleep from All of the Excitement, that she was overtired. Last night was her worst in a long time. I think even she was ready for the girls to go back to school today.

There were a lot of great things and moments. While I work today I'll drink some holiday tea from my new mug, wearing my cozy new slippers. Sad to see the Christmas season go, and happy to see the routine returning.

The One with the Random Train of Thoughts

2010-12-15T10:03:00.002-06:00

So even though it's been gone more than 5 years, Captain America and I still quote Friends. A lot. Remember how all the episode names were "The One With..." Ok. Maybe it's sad. But it still brings me joy.

I put my hair in a messy bun today. I think it's the first time I've ever done that, because I think this is the longest my hair has been. Ever. My hair does not grow quickly. I think I started growing it out after Natalie was born. Not Zoey. Natalie. Natalie, who is 5 1/2.

Taking a shower without washing my hair feels weird. Along with growing ever so slowly, I have the kind of hair that really needs to be washed daily. Otherwise, ew. But on days when I'm getting a haircut I don't wash it. It just makes the shower strange. Colder, somehow.

Sometimes I watch Glee on Hulu. I'm not enough of a fan to tivo it, but eventually I catch most of the episodes. Every once and a while I fastforward through the musical numbers. Is that some kind of Glee sacrilege? It's just that I can only handle so much Journey and whathaveyou.

The other day Ella got upset because she doesn't get to go to the afterschool daycare program. You know. Because she has ME. In my heart I know it's because they go sledding and have snacks and make crafts and her friend goes. But I still gave her a small "You're lucky I'm home to be with you" speech which was totally lost on her. Much like the speech we gave the little ingrates last night about the kids without enough food who would be happy to eat their Spaghettios. And the one I gave Natalie about the kids without warm pajamas who wouldn't care that they don't match. Or the one I gave Zoey about the babies who don't have nice beds to sleep in, who wouldn't wake their mothers up in the middle of the night. Ok, not that last one.

We blew Santa out of the water the other day. I'm glad we did. Ella was mostly upset because she says she wants us to always tell her the truth. We talked about how Santa was a very good man, and very generous, and now it's a fun tradition. It was time. As Captain America described it, he'd gone from a jolly old man who gives gifts to the rich uncle who gets you whatever you want. "I'm not sure we can get you that for Christmas" was met with "Then I'll just ask Santa for it," with a bit of a pre-teen edge in the tone. On the one hand, I'll miss him. On the other, I'm glad to give up the game and help them understand why things like Toys for Tots are so important. I just feel like the focus was so much on the getting, and now maybe we can work on the giving.

Thankful

2010-11-29T11:39:00.002-06:00

It is certainly a year to give thanks. Not that they aren't all years to give thanks. But the thanks come very easily this year.

We headed back to see all the family for Thanksgiving. It was just like I imagine it was in days of yore. Loading up the extended minivan with many suitcases and a pack & play. Making sure the DVDs were stocked. Over the river. Through the woods.

We had a great trip, and little Zoey proved to be a very flexible traveler, much to our delight. While I hole up in my laundry room, please enjoy the story of Grandpa Ron, our own holiday Chilean miner miracle, over at my sister's blog.

What day is it?

2010-11-17T09:56:00.003-06:00

Oh my goodness! Zoey only got up once last night, and for how it's been that was as good as sleeping through the night to me. I know it may not happen again for months, but now there's a little hope. And I know there are mommies out there who stay up all night listening to the screaming colicky baby, so I can't complain about Zoey's sleeping habits REALLY. She just likes to visit and snuggle in the night.

Perhaps it was the exhaustion of a doctor's appointment complete with shots? I know I felt exhausted after that. I made sure to point out to Zoey that there were two nurses in there doing the dirty work, and this was not Mommy that was stabbing her in the legs. She was not happy. I saw her first big tears. And she was left cranky for the rest of the day.

I was thrilled, though. After a rough start to weight gain, Zoey now weighed 10 lbs. 1 oz at her 2 month check up.

Which seems as good a transition as any into a little thankful list. As far as I'm concerned, this is the best Thanksgiving ever, and it's not even here yet. I am over the moon thankful for these overall life things:

A healthy baby and her chubby baby legs.
A sweet spirited 5 yr old.
A really caring 7 yr old.
My husband who still cracks me up 14 years later, and is a fantastic daddy.
My family, who still manages to be there for me even though they're 5 hours away.
A warm home and all its amenities.
Great friends that understand me.
My job, and understanding customers.
My church.

Today I'm thankful for:

A new tea to try.
Christmas music (shhhh - my girls will tell me it's too early - Captain America has been training them!).
A large capacity washer.
Working from home (in sweatshirts & slippers).
My new cranberry/clove/orange candle.
No snow on the ground.
Warm enough temps that I haven't pulled out more than a fleece yet.
Everything. I feel like I slept so much last night I want to dance and sing.

Desperate Mommy

2010-11-03T16:00:00.002-05:00

So I watch Desperate Housewives. I'm not proud.

You'll have to forgive this re-telling, because I feel like I haven't slept in days and it's really hampering my ability to be coherent.

A couple of weeks ago one of the wives, Lynette, was having a tough time keeping up with all her children. She has a new baby. Her 11 yr old daughter, Penny, offered to watch the baby so she could shower or nap or something. The baby loved Penny. Penny was like a Baby Whisperer. She loved taking care of her little sister. Everyone was happy. Especially Lynette. So Lynette started going for a jog, or visiting a neighbor while Penny babysat. Hooray!

Then Lynette stopped by a neighbor's house for a minute and got wrapped up in something or another. She didn't make it back home before Penny had to get on the bus for school, and Penny had a big math test. So she ran in yelling that she'd give her a ride. Only neither Penny nor the baby were anywhere to be found. Penny had taken the baby on the bus and gone to school. Lynette goes to pick her up, getting the stink eye from every school office employee around. The principal tells her Penny's been falling asleep in class, because she's been getting up in the middle of the night to give the baby a bottle so her mom could sleep. Lynette had no idea.

So Lynette talks to Penny about it. Turns out Penny noticed that when she helped take care of the baby, it made for a very happy mommy. Lynette wasn't as cranky. She played games with the other kids. Penny liked that.

I don't have to tell you I totally teared up when I watched that. Even if it was Desperate Housewives. It struck a chord. Hit a nerve. Whatever. NEW MOMMY HORMONES!

Today when I picked Ella & Natalie up from school I told them I'd really need good listening today, because Zoey had been up much of the night and hadn't let me nap today. So they had one tired mama. Natalie (5) said, "Mama? We can watch Zoey while you rest! We'll take care of her! We can do that - can't we, Ella?" To which Ella (7 - so very 7) said, "Well...I want to play with my gak I made today." Yeah, I see how it is. I told Natalie that was awfully sweet of her, and thank you so much, but Zoey would be up soon to eat. "I can give her the bottle that's in the fridge!" Be still my heart, you lovely, lovely child.

Thank goodness I had learned my Desperate lesson via Lynette. I mean, Lynette scored a nanny out of the deal (which ended up being her senile mother-in-law, although that's beside the point). I'm guessing that's not where my story would be going. So I'll just be very thankful for a sweet and helpful child, and try to keep her that way.

Mommybrain and Third Child Syndrome

2010-10-27T14:35:00.002-05:00

I have serious Mommybrain. There was the day I forgot to pick up the girls on a half day of school. There was the day where I went into school to write a lunch check and would have walked out without my checkbook, had a friend not been standing next to me and reminded me. Later that day I went to Walgreens with all 3 girls, and nearly walked out without my purchases until the cashier stopped me.

Other than that, I just can't focus. It's the culprit of my lack of blogging. When I have my few moments to write something, I'm blank. I've forgotten to do some of my jobs. If a customer asks for files over the phone, I can nearly guarantee I won't remember to send them.

Meanwhile, this poor third child. She has to be much more flexible than the other two were. I've found I'm able to tune out the fussing a lot of the time. So Captain America often has to wake me up to go feed her. Just now, I had Zoey under an activity gym staring at the toys she can't reach. She started fussing. Natalie said to me, "Mom? Can you give her the nuk? I'm busy right now." Oh. Right.

I blame the lack of sleep. For all of it. Zoey's a decent sleeper, it's just that her day/night is a little shifted. Day seems to start around noon, and end around midnight. We're working on that. Well, Captain America is working on it. I'm too tired.

All the baby-ness

2010-10-13T14:15:00.002-05:00

Oh my word but it is a delight to have this child on the outside. I know they're not all that fun at first, but I do enjoy cuddling a squishy baby. I'm enjoying her immobility as well, since I know it will be short-lived.

I'm also loving the age gap. Ella & Natalie are somewhat self-sufficient, and they're great helpers. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy Ella & Natalie are close in age to each other. But it's making babyhood much more fun than when I also had a diaper-wearing toddler running around. It's been so fun to watch them love on their little sister. I'm sure there will be days when the novelty wears off, but for now we're still all head over heels for her.

We're sort of settling into a bit of a routine, and Zoey has proven to be fairly flexible in that respect. The whole SuperMom thing is a little overwhelming, but I'm accepting that I can't get it all done right now. There's a baby, two school-agers who need to be transported, housekeeping, cooking, and plenty of work to do. I'm inclined to let the housekeeping & cooking go, since that's an easy place for Captain America to pick up slack (and there's always pizza or McDonald's). And let me tell you, he steps up his game. Every time Zoey's up at night, he gets up first to change her diaper. He also spearheads the clean up movement on Saturdays, after making sure I can sleep in.

So the routine is evolving. Zoey's gathering nicknames (not from me): Zo-Zo, Zoester, Lil Z. We're getting used to our new normal. And as it was with the other two, it's hard to imagine Zoey hasn't always been a part of our lives.

Obligatory labor story

2010-09-29T09:09:00.003-05:00

I'm sure you've just been sitting there on pins & needles waiting for the labor story. The wait is over!

You may remember I've had a plethora of due dates. I'm exaggerating, but I like the word "plethora." They were Sept. 25, Oct. 7, and Oct. 2. The ultrasound techs liked Oct. 2 in the end, but my doctor and I had a Sept. 25 hunch. You know who doesn't care about due dates? Babies.

You may also remember I've been petrified of going into labor, and of random water breakage. I was so paranoid that I bought a waterproof liner for my side of the bed. I was convinced my water was going to break in the middle of the night while I was sleeping. But then I realized the chances of that were probably pretty slim. And I was right. Kind of. It broke at 6 a.m. while I was sleeping, on Sept. 14. At first I wasn't even convinced that it was really my water breaking, because I wasn't having contractions in any remotely frequent or regular manner. Then I thought if it wasn't the water, I wanted my money back on the pregnancy thing because all of the sudden I had the worst bladder control ever.

Captain America ran off to work to wrap some things up. I took the girls to school. {I'm blaming both of those things on shock} As I dropped the girls off I told them someone else would probably pick them up from school, because I thought we'd have the baby that day. So Ella says, "Why do you think that?" And I said, "Because some of the things that happen before you have the baby are happening." And she said, "Oh, because we had the baby shower Saturday?" Um. Yes.

Then I headed to the clinic so my doctor could check me out. They hooked me up to a monitor and watched my ridiculously infrequent contractions, and the plentiful baby movement. Captain America met me there, and then we headed down to the hospital for All the Baby Having. Without contractions it was a little anti-climactic. Since we had two cars at the clinic, I drove one home. When we got to the hospital, I opted out of the wheelchair ride to labor & delivery. The rush wasn't really in it.

Sometime mid-morning they hooked me up to my old friend Pitocin. Only it didn't seem to pack the same punch it did with the other two. By 5 p.m. I started to wonder if she was going to be born by midnight. I was bored with being in labor. I told Captain America to go ahead and order dinner. My THIRD nurse came in. She assured me it wasn't that bad, because she was splitting a shift so really it was only two. She gave that pitocin a final crank, and BAM, we were in business. Shortly after that I called for Round 1 of nubane, because I am deathly afraid of epidurals. The next couple hours is sort of a blur.

It boils down to this: After a while the nubane wore off, and I called for Round 2. There was some discussion about how sometimes Round 2 doesn't work, and should they give me something else? Well, she likes nubane, let's give her more nubane. IT DIDN'T WORK. And it was time to push. Apparently Me + Labor - Nubane {and all drugs for that matter} = Screamer. I'd like to apologize to everyone in the room and in that wing. When it was over I remember thinking maybe I was louder in my head than in real life. Captain America assured me that was not the case. I also noticed my throat hurt from All the Screaming. The only moment I really remember was during the pushing when a nurse said, "Look down at your baby!" and I yelled "NO WAY!" Because I like the miracle of birth to be a pretty miracle. Where a shiny clean baby is placed in my arms and I can pretend she's always been shiny clean. Like on tv.

She was born at 7:44 p.m., weighing 6 lbs. 9 oz. 11 days early. Or more. Or less. Just a tiny peanut. She remained nameless until the next morning when we consulted the Big Sisters. They chose Zoey Elizabeth. She missed Captain America's birthday by 4 hours. Which is best summed up by a balloon some friends brought him at the hospital. It said, "It's my birthday, it's all about me," only it popped on the way in.

So Zoey's here now. And all the labor things I worried about are over and done. I'm enjoying the rewards of snuggling at all hours. And it doesn't hurt that my doctor, also a mother, says things like, "I can't believe you did that. No epidural. No drugs. Girl, you were amazing." It's another notch in my Mommy Martyr belt.

...drumroll please...

2010-09-24T08:50:00.003-05:00

Zoey Elizabeth was born Tuesday, Sept. 14 at 7:44 p.m. She was 6 lbs. 9 oz, and 19 1/4" long. Just as she's been from the start, she did it on her own timing and schedule.

I'll be back soon with the obligatory labor story. Right now I'm enjoying putting my feet up while my family roams around the house fixing things and making dinner {shout out for my sister's world famous lasagna} and doing my laundry.

For now just know that we're all so in love with her, that Captain America actually went out and purchased this little outfit on his own accord.

Tick...tick...tick...

2010-09-08T13:23:00.002-05:00

I am a walking timebomb. At any moment I could just launch into labor. I could be browsing the aisles at Target and my water could break. At Target. Yuck.

This is why I've always liked being induced. I liked having a date set. I liked to think I wouldn't go into labor before that (and I got lucky). I like to know. I like sleeping the night before, and not being in labor in the middle of the night. I know inducing is really horrible for a lot of women, but mine went well. A little whiff of pitocin, and off I went. Roughly 8 hours with Ella and 5 hours with Natalie. No guarantees, I know, but you can see how that would be attractive.

I like the idea of being at the hospital for the whole thing. All of the contractions. All of the water breaking yuckiness. I like being at the hospital. With nurses and monitors and Nubane. Having to figure out if I'm really in labor or not freaks me out.

This baby is a whole new experience. New doctor, new hospital, new nurses. I've been given no promises of inducing. And all the not knowing makes me wake up at least 3 times a night having dreamed I was in labor. I'm completely paranoid. Did my stomach just twinge? Am I going to start contractions? I feel a little weird - is this it?

So at this point, I would like to just move into the hospital and wait. At the very least, I'd like to stop going places. Just hole up here at home and wait it out. It's completely unrealistic and unnecessary, but it would certainly make me feel better.

Christmas, Christmas time is here!

2010-09-01T09:26:00.002-05:00

I feel like it's been kind of a long summer. Today was the first day of school for first graders on up; kindergarten starts tomorrow. A friend of mine very aptly described last night as the equivalent of Christmas Eve. "And tomorrow Santa will come in his big yellow bus and take them away..."

The school principal called last week and said the class sizes in second grade were getting a little too big (24-25), so they were adding one more section. The new section would be in a smaller room, so it would cap out at 15 kids. Would we be supportive of them moving Ella into that class? SURE! 15 kids? That's like private school. Count her in. So Monday night we went to open house to find out who her teacher would be, since they had to hire one quickly last week and didn't know who it would be yet when they called. We talked to the principal again, and Captain America told Ella that her new teacher would be Mr. B. "Mr.? A Boy Teacher? Are you serious...nevermind...I'm just going over there." In the end she's totally cool with it, she was just unfamiliar with the phenomenon of a Boy Teacher. Turns out Mr. B grew up in Wyoming, and as a Cody, WY and Yellowstone lover, that just sets my soul at ease.

We also checked out Natalie's kindergarten room and met her teacher. Natalie was excited to see that her two best friends from last year are in her class again. At first she wasn't too keen on the all day idea, but she's come around since the open house.

So today is the first day of school. The kindergarteners all have one hour meetings with the teachers scheduled throughout the day, but we got to drop Ella off. I went a little early because I knew it'd be tough to park. So I'm looking for a spot and Ella says, "Mom, can't you just drop me off? I know where I'm going." Yes, I know. But we need to bring in your three boxes of snacks. "I can carry them. Can't you just drop me off?" Ella. It's early. You're not even really supposed to be here yet. And I'd like to get a couple of pictures of you on the first day. "Oh. You should say 'first day of second grade' because 'first day' makes me think it's my first day of school ever. Like preschool." Yes. Well. Fine.

{shout out to the lovely people at Caribou who were at school handing out coffees to the moms and dads}

We dropped off the snacks and left Ella, who gave me the afterthought "bye, Mom!" over her shoulder as she caught up with friends. Then Natalie and I came home. Natalie: "I'm going to play with whatever I want! I'm going to the playroom! WITHOUT ELLA!"

Clearly, we are all terribly brokenhearted that the end of summer has come. At that point, I realized I didn't even shed a tear this morning when I dropped Ella off. I think because this is the first year it isn't really new. When I dropped her off at kindergarten, it was kindergarten. First grade was a new school in a new town. Now she's already got peeps. And I've got my eye on a little peace and quiet. You know, til the baby comes in a few weeks. Merry Christmas, indeed...

Captain America

2010-08-29T08:00:00.000-05:00

I met Captain America on my second day of college. Classes hadn't even started yet. I got invited to someone's house for movies, and ended up sitting next to him. He told me if I got thirsty he had some Pepsi I could have. He and his roommates gave me a ride back to campus, and we all stayed up late talking. At some point I realized my keys were in my dorm room, and the dorm systems were now locked. I called my roommate and left a few messages, and when she got in she said she'd meet me to open the door. I remember overhearing a conversation between Captain America and his roommate over who would walk me home, and CA saying, "No. I'll do it." Well. So he walked me to my dorm door, and my poor sleepy roommate let me in. I hoped it wouldn't put a damper on our roomie relationship, since we'd known each other for all of a day.

The next day I called over to his apartment to see if they would show me around so I could figure out where my classes were. I completely mispronounced his name. But they still helped me find my classes. Captain America and I hung out quite a lot that week. By the end of it we were dating. A year later we were engaged. Ten months after that we got married, and that poor sleepy roommate was in the wedding (I don't think she was sleepy anymore).

Today we've been married for 12 years. Twelve. We were such babies when we got married. We've got two, almost three beautiful girls. We've made a couple of big moves (big for us). We've both had a few jobs. We've figured out everything about being grown-ups together. Fourteen years after meeting him, there's still no one who makes me laugh harder. And there's no one I'd rather figure out life with.

So Captain America, I love you, and I'm thankful for you. I'm thankful for everything these 12 years have brought us, and for every year God sees fit to give us. I think we should aim for 75. We can totally live to our late 90s, right?

It's the final countdown...

2010-08-26T12:02:00.003-05:00

I'm sure you're all as sick of this pregnancy thing as I am, at this point. Good news! Only 4 weeks left (I hope).

Yesterday it would seem I forgot I was pregnant at all, and thought I could whip through Sam's Club really quickly. You know, grab one thing from every corner of the store. Just really quickly. Zoom, zoom. By the time I got to the checkout line (did I mention it was 5 p.m.?) to stand and wait for eternity, I was feeling it. The baby was going nuts with the kicking. I was getting some braxton-hicks. I had to just stand for a moment and hold on to my stomach. For a minute I thought, "Shoot, what if someone notices me and thinks I'm going into labor?" And then I thought, "Sweet! Maybe I'll be able to move ahead in line!" To no avail. I don't know if you're aware, but when we're waiting in line to check out anywhere, we are all completely oblivious of each other.

I get a little punchy in that last month (it's probably the whole 9 - but particularly in the last one). I hope it isn't just me. When I was pregnant with Natalie I was working with a couple college-age guys. We had three pregnancies at one time in our office. Our office of about 10 people. Those boys learned more than they wanted to learn. I admit, on more than one occasion I enjoyed stopping a conversation saying something like, "Hang on - contraction," and watching the clock. I knew I wasn't in labor. But it was good practice for timing contractions, right? And the panic on their faces was just precious...

So I'm kind of looking forward to my hospital tour later today. Maybe someone will think I'm in labor. Plus I'm hoping that knowing a little more what I can expect when I get there will CALM ME DOWN. I have never gone into labor on my own, and it petrifies me. PETRIFIES. I'm all about pulling out our datebooks and finding a good day for baby havin'. Thursdays or Fridays are nice. A little whiff of some pitocin, and off I go. Having my water break at Target? Not so high on that. Going into labor at 2 a.m. and rounding up childcare? No thank you. And then getting sent home with false labor? Not so much. Walking around my house deciding if I'm in labor? I'd rather not.

Here's to hoping I can sway the doctor to my way of thinking. I know - good luck to me.

Un-nesting

2010-08-18T13:15:00.003-05:00

A couple of weeks ago I felt a little nesting freak out. Much to Captain America's dismay, the mood has passed. Poor guy. I remember with Ella & Natalie he was so excited for me to nest. So hopeful that I would throw out all my clutter in the middle of the night while the carpets dried from shampooing. No such luck.

And now, it's August. It's too hot to clean things. It's too hot to do much of anything but put my feet up and read a book with a bowl of ice cream. Yesterday, however, the humidity really broke. For the first time since May, we spent 24 hours without air conditioning. IT WAS LOVELY. I think I said so every 15 minutes or so. "This is so nice." "This is just so nice."

I think I have my own brand of nesting: avoidance. Now that I can still breathe when I step outside, I'd like to take a road trip. Something tells me it wouldn't really be that fun. Not in real life. Probably I'd swell up like a giant balloon after an hour in the car. I'd have to stop every 30 minutes to pee. I'd be even more uncomfortable not sleeping in a different bed. I'd be irritated that we all had to go to bed at 8:30 sharing some hotel room with the girls. Where they wouldn't sleep either. They'd get tired & cranky and beg to swim in the pool. I'd have to don a too-small maternity swimsuit, and look like a potato sausage bursting out of the casing.

But the ideal version in my head seems delightful. Some sort of late-summer adventure, the last with there just being 4 of us. MEMORIES. Something on the North Shore of Lake Superior, where we'd sit with ice cream in one hand and toss rocks into the lake with the other. After feeding half our donuts to the seagulls that morning, ignoring the locals silently cursing us for feeding those stinking, shrieking birds (I can say that - I've been one of the locals). Eating wild raspberries while we hike the trails to various waterfalls. Sitting on uncomfortable rocks watching the lake, and feeling your entire body just slow down.

With only about 5 weeks to go til my due date, I'm guessing my ideal version couldn't make it into reality. I mean, sometimes I need a nap because taking a shower has worn me out. But the whole avoidance thing sounds so nice. Right now I'd much rather load up the van with some luggage than with boxes for Goodwill.

Maybe I'll just have another bowl of ice cream, for now.

O Pioneer

2010-08-11T10:42:00.002-05:00

I've been reading pioneer girl fiction again. This time it was a Lauraine Snelling book. I often enjoy her because they take place in North Dakota, on land and in weather with which I am familiar. So it's easy for me to imagine. I'm so pregnant. Easy is good.

I always start the pioneer girl fiction a tinge envious. Life was so simple. You had clear cut jobs to do, and the motivation was survival. It was easy to rely on God and give Him the proper thanks for success, because you could just as easily lose it all in a fire, storm or drought as the neighbor down the river did. It was probably easier to live your life in focus; without tv, internet and ipods vying for your attention. When the fanciest mode of transportation had to be fed & watered.

And then, inevitably, someone in the book will give birth. And I will end every sentence I read with "Thank you, Jesus, for modern medicine. And air conditioning." I've been trying to temper my "wah, wah, I'm ginormously pregnant in sauna-like humidity" by thinking of my pioneer sisters. Giving birth in the soddy. While Husband milked the cows, because cows must be milked. When you were lucky if a neighbor wife could come help you, but if it was threshing season, you might just be lucky to have an 11-yr-old around to catch the baby while everyone else worked all hours just to get the wheat up before it rained.

No air conditioning. No drugs. No doctor (unless you were very lucky). No hospital monitors keeping track of you and the baby. No nurse bringing you peanut butter toast at 3 a.m. and taking the baby so you could sleep. NO AIR CONDITIONING. Just your 12-yr-old niece and some willow bark tea.

My pioneer sisters got married when the house was finished, not when the $10K dress could be altered and the DJ was available. But the barn came first. If they were ginormously pregnant through the summer, they still probably wore a long skirt and long-sleeves. Not only for fashion (and the modesty it demanded), but because there was work to be done in the fields and gardens, for which your skin should be covered. Livestock to be fed. Bread to make from scratch. Preserves to be put up and meat to be cured for a very, very long and harsh winter. Dinner to make for the threshing crew. Clothes to sew for the baby.

So I lay on my bed with an assortment of pillows, under my ceiling fan with the air conditioning blasting. It's the middle of the day, but I feel just a little tired and like it might be nice to put my feet up. And I read a chapter or two about the pioneer woman. Slaving away from dusk til dawn for the good of her family. While I sip some iced tea or lemonade with ice cubes that appear magically in my freezer. And keep tabs on the design jobs coming into email on my Blackberry. And I'll think about where we can maybe go out to eat, because it's too hot to cook and I just don't feel like it.

Somehow, I'll still feel a little hint of envy for her life. While I roll over and adjust my pillows to get more comfortable, and better feel the air conditioning.

Pending Pending

2010-08-10T12:48:00.002-05:00

Some friends of ours recently had a baby and while they had the first name picked out, they weren't quite settled on the middle. So for a little while on Facebook she was "Autumn Pending." At the rate we're going, we may just have Pending Pending.

It's not that we aren't looking. We just aren't finding. I have read, front to back, the baby girl names in THREE baby name books. THREE. I'm having a bit of trouble. Anything I see with any excitement Captain America meets with a "meh." And vice versa. And really, there's nothing either of us likes enough to put it into negotiations.

It's such a challenge, because we were so sure about Ella & Natalie. I'd wanted a Natalie my whole life, but around month 6 with Ella it just wasn't right. So we opted for Ella as our girl name. We found out Natalie was a girl at 20 weeks, and from that moment she was Natalie. This child is a mystery. She's had three due dates. She has no name. Not that she needs it right now, what with not being born and everything. But eventually, she will be born.

My children come from long lines of people who don't use their given names (too many to list, really). For some reason, I then feel completely pressured to come up with a name that will be used in all stages of life.

So, let me amuse you with my freakishly precise baby naming criteria (all about personal taste, I take no issue with other people going against these):

No names in the Top 15 popular baby names (heck, or the Top 20-50 if I could help it).
Preferably nothing that can also be used for a boy.
I generally am attracted to older names. But not really old. More like Ava than Hepzibah.
Nothing longer than 7 letters (slightly scarred over watching poor Natalie learn to write her name).
Nothing with a bizarre meaning that I'd hate to saddle the kid with for life.
Nothing that sounds like one of the existing names in our house (no Isabella, since we have an Ella, not Madeline since we'd have Maddy & Nattie, etc).
I'd love to avoid something she will have to spell for people her entire life.
It should kind of "go" with Ella & Natalie.
Nothing that easily lends itself to a mean nickname.
Preferably nothing that the teacher looks at and wonders "How on earth do I pronounce that?"
Nothing sports related (been there, done that, thank you, Captain America).
Must keep in mind what her initials will spell (preferably nothing).
Nothing that first brings to mind some sort of famous person. Like Hillary.
Something that works on a small child as easily as it does a 40-yr-old doctor or CEO, or a grandma. Not that my child needs to be a doctor, CEO, or a grandma, but I want her to have options and be taken seriously. If she wants to be taken seriously.
No names that put a lot of expectations on her, like Patience. I mean, I'd love for her to be patient, but it would stink to hear all the time "With a name like Patience, you'd think you could wait a little longer for dinner," or something.

Honestly, I don't even think this is everything, but it's what I remember right now. Which, given my morning out in the humidity is impressive. And you can see how I've put myself in a bit of a pickle with all that choosiness. Something is going to have to give, and I'm ok with that. I'm just hoping a name comes along that I love enough to say it's worth breaking some criteria.

Not that I've ever been a morning person...

2010-08-03T09:06:00.000-05:00

I'm well into trimester #3 now (OH MY GOODNESS, IT'S AUGUST, AND BABY COULD EASILY COME NEXT MONTH). It seems mornings are my biggest challenge. I have a lot of trouble dragging myself out of bed. Not like I've ever been a morning fan. Ask my parents. And then ask them why Dad thought it was a good idea to wake me up by saying, "Sarah, it's time to spring out of bed like a newborn gazelle." Especially when I didn't think high school was anything worth springing out of bed for in the first place. Certainly not like a newborn gazelle.

Anywho.

Seems this trimester is sleepier than the rest. I spend the entire morning yawning. Sometimes I give up and lay down for 20 minutes or so. I got my biggest taste of it on our Big Trip. Part of the Big Water Festival is a 5 & 10K race. Don't jump to conclusions - I'd never run it myself. But my aunt & uncle usually come up from North Carolina to run in it and then threaten the nieces with uber sweaty hugs. Family people that we are, we usually go down to watch the runners come in. And hope to avoid the sweaty hugs. Maybe while we eat some mini-donuts. This year I was standing about, when I started to get a little dizzy. Then I started to get really dizzy. Then I sat down and couldn't really lift my head up off the picnic table. While trying to remember where the garbage cans were for when I lost my breakfast. If I could walk to them, which I didn't think I could do. Never losing sight of the fact that all the people around me had just run 10K, and here I was "I need to lay down..." and feeling silly.

Small town to the rescue, yet again. My sister called her husband at home, and he came down to the park to pick us up. While we waited, she grabbed a high school friend, who is now a doctor, to accompany us to the other side of the park until he got there. After a few glasses of water and a little lie down, I felt fine again.

Needless to say, the mornings are not my friend.

More lessons from the Big Trip

2010-08-02T11:24:00.002-05:00

Don't get me wrong, we've loved where we're living. It has treated us very well. And I'm almost used to having Wisconsin plates on the vehicles. Almost.

There are just certain things that only happen in a small town. Some of them are fabulous. While we were in town on the Big Trip, I made sure to get our mini-van in at the local dealer to check over. Because they know me there. And I know them. When I dropped it off for the oil change, etc, I said, "Oh, can you check the thing you just fixed on my mom's car? She thinks it's doing the same thing." She said sure. She knew exactly what I was talking about. I didn't need to say who I was, or who my mom was, or what kind of car she has, or what the problem had been. Not unlike the last time I was there, when the service person asked if I was going to wait there and I said I'd go to my sister's instead, and then they called me at her house when it was done. I didn't say who my sister was. They know.

After a few fixes, they determined I also needed a couple of tires. So the next morning I took the car out to the tire place in town. The owner came out, took a walk around it and said, "Yep. We'll put two new ones on the front and rotate the front to the back." Done. No tire shopping. I remember going out there with Captain America a few years ago, when the current owner's dad was still alive and running it. "Do we need to pick tires out?" {chuckle} "No. You won't get the most expensive, but not the cheapest either. Something middle of the road." Oh. Ok. It's the same story now. They'll just take care of it, and you'll be perfectly happy with what you get. That's why we go there.

I had all sorts of other lovely small town moments while we were there. Parents of Ella's school friends stopped to say hi to her when she wasn't even with me. A preschool friend of Natalie's stopped by my parents' house, because they knew we were staying there. I got to see friends from high school, three of us largely pregnant.

I'm glad we are where we are, but I'm also glad to be from where I'm from.

And then things got exciting.

2010-07-30T12:00:00.000-05:00

The second night we were "back home" the girls and I went to a potluck with our previous church small group. If you're Minnesotan, you know there was hotdish.

It was great to see everyone again, and let the girls play with friends they hadn't seen in so long. We'd been with that group since before Ella was born, right up until our Big Move. And like I said, there was hotdish. Good times. I finally looked at the clock and knew I'd best leave in about 5 minutes. I had tired, tired girls on my hands. Not a minute later, the tornado sirens went off. Well, shoot. We were about 20 minutes from my parents' house at that point, and didn't really have an option but to head to the basement right where we were.

The kids were already downstairs playing video games, so the adults joined them in a very nonchalant fashion. Nothing to see here kids. Let's just all hang out in the basement for a while! And listen to the weatherman on the radio! While there's a torrential downpour outside! Everything's fine and normal!

No one seemed to notice for a while, and then Ella came up to me, dying of thirst and wanting to go upstairs and get her drink. "Not right now, honey." "BUT MOM. I AM SO. THIRSTY." I was tired. I am a weather chicken. So I think my response in a very hushed tone was, "You are not going anywhere, there are tornado sirens!" "WHAT? THERE'S A TORNADO???"

After checking the radar and having Captain America check the radar from home and calling my dad for the southern weather report, I decided to hit the road. We'd been waiting nearly an hour at this point, and the girls were falling asleep on their feet. So we hightailed it to the car in the downpour. So much rain. So hard to see. Not my favorite drive ever.

According to Captain America's radar research, if I could just make it to the halfway mark it would probably start letting up. So I forged ahead. While the cars in front of me pulled over. And the girls in the back seat said, "Is there going to be a tornado? Is there going to be one now? Mom, can you see ok? Why is that car stopping?" Then I got to the halfway point, and it wasn't any better. I think we'd missed our window of opportunity. But I kept going. Because the alternative was pulling over to the side of the road with two small, tired, worried children and waiting through more pounding rain in the car. And then still having to drive home.

Of course we made it, or I wouldn't be posting this. The girls didn't argue much about going to bed and neither did I. I could have done without the excitement, frankly. It's sort of exhausting to try and look calm and collected in front your children, so as to not pass your own irrational weather fears on to them.

My actual words in an impressively calm voice: "We're fine. It's just rain, and Mommy can drive just fine in that. We do not need to worry."

My actual thoughts: "It's raining so hard that I'm not sure I'll be able to see the tornado coming in time to get us all in the ditch and lay on top of my children in a weak attempt to save their lives! Now that we've left we'd be in between siren range! I wonder if it's safe to drive this fast or if I'm going to hydroplane us into the oncoming traffic?!"

Good, good times.

We lived to tell the tale.

2010-07-29T14:59:00.002-05:00

It's taken me a few days to recover, but the girls and I made our epic trip and have lived to tell about it. I may spread the joy out over a few days worth of posts.

The actual drive itself wasn't bad. It took a while, with my pregnant bladder and the baby who likes to use it for a punching bag. We had to make 3 stops on the way there. But one was really just to find Natalie a pair of crocs which she suddenly insisted on having, since we were driving past an outlet. Anyone who knows me and my own shoe issues knows I am virtually powerless against a shoe request from my children. Besides, she didn't have a summer shoe that had a back strap. So I made it a potty stop as well. To which Ella said, "MOM. We just. stopped. so you could go potty." Yes, honey. I'm aware. Now hush up, and try again because as my Aunt Ruthie always says, "You never know when you'll see another one."

We were really zipping along then, until we got very close to our last exit. And Natalie said, "I think I might have to go potty." And I said, "Right now, or can you wait 10 minutes til our next stop?" "I can wait." No sooner had we passed Last Chance Exit, when we ran into road construction. The freeway was down to one lane. Yikes, hopefully this won't be a problem. And then I saw all the brake lights. And I started to drive 5 to 20 mph. For nearly 10 miles. Thankfully, Natalie was distracted by the movie Bambi, which the girls had never seen. I figured it was high time I introduced them to the cruelty of the world that is Bambi. We survived the 10 miles of crawling traffic to our exit (at the end we passed the guy walking the center line while something was being sprayed on the new tar, and I felt a little better that there was a good reason we all drove so slow). We stopped for our last potty/dinner break.

As we were waiting in the drive thru Ella said, "Mom, I didn't see the sad part in the movie." I had prepped them a bit before the movie that there was a really sad part, because the Bambi book they have at home doesn't actually have that part. So I said, "What do you mean you didn't see it?" "I don't know. There wasn't a really sad part." "Ella, Bambi's mom got shot and died." "Oh that, yeah, I know."

Well. Fine. Nevermind the fact that I got teary in the front seat, not even able to see the movie, because all I could think was, "She never got to see her baby grow up!" In Ella's defense though, Disney has totally desensitized her with all the missing & killing of mothers. I think Ella was 5 before I let them watch the first scene of Nemo. Turns out, it's not a problem for her.

I have not learned my lesson.

2010-07-20T13:40:00.003-05:00

I am now almost 30 weeks pregnant. And tomorrow after swimming I will load up the van, and embark on a 5 hr drive with the girls. Just me. And the girls. FIVE HOURS. We're heading to my parents' for Ye Olde Towne Festival. It's not called that at all. It's Waterama. Complete with queens and princesses and admirals, oh my! And the Midwest's largest lighted pontoon parade. I can only imagine the size my feet will be by the time we get there.

I am ginormous. The other day Captain America said, "Yikes, how are you going to make it another 10 weeks? I LOVE YOU." When I mentioned this to my mother, along with my feeling that I'm bigger than some people who carry twins, she basically agreed. Yes. You are.

Furthermore, I'm attempting a 5 night stay. With Homebody Natalie. And no Daddy. Must pack the ibuprofen for her impending fever. And something for myself, for my usual Waterama Heatstroke.

Well, at least I'm not leaving on a Friday, when everyone in the Big City evacuates for The Cabin and traffic is stop and go adding at least one or two hours to the trip. I'll add enough time on my own with potty breaks. For Mommy. And maybe a trip through Sonic for a cherry limeade.

She's a sensitive girl.

2010-07-08T10:35:00.002-05:00

It is well established that my Natalie is a sensitive girl. In addition to all of the other evidence, her mosquito bites blow up into giant welts. Right now she's got one on the inside of her calf that is more than two inches long. It looks better today.

But explain this to me: last night the poor creature was stung by a bee on her toe. Nothing. You'd be hard-pressed to even locate the sting site today. I saw the stinger spot last night, so I know it actually happened. A mosquito welt from days ago is still there, but a bee sting from last night? Nothing.

Meanwhile, Ella has two loose teeth. Finally. Which completely grosses me out. I didn't think it would. But it does. I'm putting Captain America in charge of them because I don't want to be in a 10 mile radius when a root snaps audibly. I feel woozy just imagining it.

I've also been trying to figure out why this baby moves so much more than the other two. It's madness. The rolling, the punching, the kicking. I can already feel elbows and things. It turns out I measure about 5 weeks bigger than she does. {avert your eyes, Jersey and other people who don't want these details: in other words, my uterus has grown at least 5 weeks ahead of schedule, but the baby is right on target. I figure if I continue at this pace, I could end up measuring 50 weeks at some point} Which means, as Captain America put it, she's got an Olympic size pool in there. No wonder she's so squirmy. She's got plenty of room. See what a wonderful mother I am? So accommodating to my child's needs? You're welcome, Baby.

The World Traveler and the Homebody

2010-07-02T14:13:00.002-05:00

Last week the girls took off for a week of Camp Grandma. They left on Monday, and we picked them up Friday.

I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but Ella is a social butterfly/world traveler/nomad. She's happy to just keep going. Like the Energizer Bunny. Natalie is a homebody. She's happiest at home sleeping in her own bed and doing her own thing.

On a recent trip to our family hair stylist, I mentioned this and she said, "Yes, Captain America said Ella could be dropped off with the Amish for the summer and be perfectly happy." While I'm sure that's an overstatement (she panics when there's no DVR and live tv can't be paused), she really loves to go and be and do.

True to form, Ella had a fantastic time at Camp Grandma. She would have been happy to stay another week. Or two. Or the summer.

Also true to form, Natalie was beyond ready to go home. How do I know? She gets homesick. Actually sick. When she's done being on the move, she runs an inexplicable fever. It's like her little body starts to shut down. Must. Get. Home. By the time Captain America and I were heading out to a wedding reception, she was up to 101.6. Two days of on and off fever. Not her first time, I must say. On Sunday morning we loaded up to go home. She was fine. Great mood. No fever. Because she was going home.

I'm fascinated to see where New Baby fits into this, because right now I'm envisioning Ella and I on vacations while Captain America and Natalie enjoy the silence of home.

Sweet sounds of Motherhood

2010-06-22T12:20:00.003-05:00

I've heard that sometimes people who lose a limb have phantom pains in said limb. So it is with my children being gone. They have taken a week off of Camp Mama (a term I have stolen from the lovely Gretchen at Second Blooming), and gone to Camp Grandma for the week. And yet, this morning as I slept in, I woke up to the sounds of my girls. Could have sworn I heard them. Nope.

Sometimes they prepare me for their absence by being rotten and cranky. This time they were all sweetness. "I'm really going to miss you, Mama!" Plus hugs. So many hugs. A hug for me, a hug for the baby. Three times each. *sniff*

No doubt they are very busy this week, playing in the hose and eating pancakes with whipped cream and sprinkles for every meal, and getting conned by Grandma into some sort of actual hairstyle.

Yesterday the silence was a little unnerving for me. So. Very. Quiet. Today I'm getting more acclimated. Enjoying listening to some music while working, since I don't have to listen for fighting downstairs in the playroom. Not watching the clock. If I am hungry, I eat. There is no one to pick up anywhere. I got out of bed when I felt good and ready. I've done some laundry, but it's not accumulating like usual. Same with the dishwasher.

It's a lovely break for all of us. But come Friday, I'll be itching to see them. And I'm sure I will get to hear "NO FAIR" in the first 20 minutes. The sweet sounds of motherhood...

Non-milestone milestones

2010-06-17T09:00:00.000-05:00

Everyone gets excited about the first words and first steps. First day of school. Those are exciting things. But there's all kinds of non-milestone milestones along the way too. Things you maybe wouldn't write home about, but it's exciting to you.

I remember when Ella could finally hold her own bottle. I mean, the pure joy I felt was amazing. An accomplishment for her, a little freedom for me. Technically I'm sure I was supposed to feel sad and still want to hold her 24/7. Instead I thought, "WHEE!! I can go to the bathroom again!"

And those little non-milestone milestones just keep coming. Like when Ella was able to figure out how to get to pbskids.org by herself. Or getting her own snack. And Natalie's never far behind her at this point.

And now I will admit the two non-milestone milestones that have thrilled my soul lately:

1. Ella can run the DVR. Just enough to play shows we've recorded. Translation: Saturday mornings we get to stay in bed, because Ella just puts on iCarly and they grab some cereal. Hooray! I'm sure I should not be so excited that my children watch enough TV to know how to run the DVR. But I don't care.

2. They're learning new songs. Our church kids did a musical for Mother's Day and it was precious and wonderful. They learned songs that have stuck in their hearts. Yesterday I heard Natalie singing one of them in the shower. Couldn't be cuter. I also felt a strange sense of pride when I first heard my girls singing a Dave Matthews Band song. I'm not sure why. But whenever it's on, they get so excited and ask to turn it up. Not that I blame them, click here. It makes me want to pack us up for some kind of road trip and roll down the windows so we can all sing it together at the top of our lungs.

It's the little things, isn't it?

Would you look at that?

2010-06-15T14:31:00.002-05:00

It's summer. Huh. The children don't go to school anymore. Months ago I looked at the zillions of programs available and thought I'd book them solid for the summer. Then I realized I'd have to drive them to all those places and pick them up. Nevermind. Besides, I'd kind of like to hang out with them a little before it's not just us anymore. I know I'll realize the folly of that line of thinking in a few weeks, when I make my paper chain countdown to September 1.

The nice part about having two girls so close together is the built-in friend. They play together all the time. And like any two friends who play together all the time, a few times in a day they want to kill each other. Or just get the other one in trouble. Or never speak to the other one again.

Meanwhile, I am taking full advantage of our lazy summer schedule. Captain America leaves the house around 7 am. While the rest of us sleep. Then I lay in bed til my bladder can't possibly stand it another second. Because the moment I get up, that baby's moving. If I get up for any reason and try to go back to bed, I am assured at least 30 minutes of gymnastic activity. Who am I kidding? I still go back to bed just to lay there. After a while the girls crawl in with me. Usually just one. Whoever asks to play computer first runs off to do that, and the other one will start to whine "IT'S NOT FAIR" so I'll let her play games on my ipod in bed with me.

Honestly, I don't know what that baby is doing in there. Neither of the other two moved like this. It's constant. And often so powerful it makes me a little nauseous. I can already see my stomach move.

Ahhh...the blissful sounds of play have been interrupted by crying, with a side of "SORRY! SORRY! SORRY!" I wonder if I should look into that...

Lessons from baseball

2010-06-08T09:00:00.001-05:00

Ok, this is going to seem odd coming from me. Just stick with me, here. Did you see the Detroit pitcher who pitched a perfect game, only not really? I try not to watch sports much, but with Captain America around it's often on. The other night I had to stop watching Parenthood on the DVR so we could watch Detroit Tigers' pitcher Armando Galaragga who was almost at a perfect game.

Perhaps if you don't care for sports and you're not married to someone like Captain America, you don't know what that means. A perfect game is when one pitcher makes it through a whole game without anyone getting on base. It's apparently incredibly rare (nevermind the fact that there have been two, almost three already this year - sometimes Major League Baseball goes years without one).

Anyway. Right as we turned to the game, they were showing replays. Long story short (you're welcome), an umpire blew a call so Galarraga didn't get his perfect game. The ump made the call he thought was right, but on the replays we can see that he made a mistake. If the ump had made the right call, he would have been in the history books, because it was the last out of the game. Now this is where it gets interesting to me.

Right when it happened, what do you think Galarraga did? Do you think he stormed the umpire? Called him an idiot (we all know it'd likely be much worse than that)? Nope. He looked at the ump. He smiled. He went back to the pitcher's mound. Pitched to one more batter, and ended the game. A few Detroit players got upset at the ump after the game, but nothing really happened. Until later.

In the interviews I saw, both Galarraga and the Detroit manager basically said, "We're all human. It's part of baseball. Everyone makes mistakes." The manager went on to say what a great ump the guy is, and that he regretted letting his emotions get the better of him on the field. Talk about grace. It gets better though. The umpire, Jim Joyce, goes back to his locker room. He asks to see the replay. He heads straight for the Tigers' locker room and apologizes to Galarraga for blowing that call. HELLO? World, are you watching? America? Is this thing on? This is how pretty much everything should be done. (Donald Miller has more to say about that here.) The next day Jim Joyce was the ump for another Tigers' game, and Galarraga brought him the lineup card in an extra show of "no hard feelings." Joyce was moved to tears.

I was mentioning to Captain America how badly I felt for the guy, that he didn't get his perfect game. He brought up a good point. Perfect games are rare, yet there have already been two this season. Did I know who threw the other two? Nope. But now I knew who both Galarraga and Joyce were. And people who don't even like baseball are talking about it. More people are talking about the perfect game that isn't, than are talking about the two that are. And yeah, I'm sure it doesn't hurt Galarraga's feelings that Chevrolet gave him a Corvette.

Like I said, personally I'm not a big sports fan. But sometimes there are some amazing lessons in sports. The grace and mercy shown by Galarraga, and the honesty and responsibility shown by Joyce are things we could all work on. Imagine what the world could be like if the Church as a whole operated that way - I think everyone would get the point of Jesus pretty easily.

Pink is not my favorite color.

2010-06-07T14:30:00.001-05:00

Ella has pink eye. I think pink eye is one of the worst things you can get as a little kid. You aren't really sick, but you're contagious. And the maintenance is so high. Drops four times a day. FOUR. Everyone, wash your hands! No one touch your eyes! She missed one of her last days of school today. Instead, she stayed home. Full of energy. BUT UNABLE TO GO ANYWHERE.

Ella's been a real trooper. No arguing over the drops. And when she realized she would miss a birthday party she just said, "Mom, can you go and take his present for me?"

Tomorrow is Natalie's last day of school. I can't really tell you how sad that makes me. It not only brings me ever closer to the "I'm bored" and "Can we go to _______" of summer, but she's loved school so much this year. Both her teacher and the classroom para have been fantastic. I didn't realize Natalie had a shell, but her teacher has sure brought her out of it! I'm afraid in my fragile hormonal state, I will sob when I drop her off at school tomorrow. I will ugly cry over how much we will miss her teachers. We couldn't have been more blessed in the teacher department this year for both girls.

Also? It means my little Natalie is going to kindergarten! What on earth? How did that happen? I'd forbid it, but I'm going to need all the time I can get in the fall to take care of a baby. So, I guess, off she goes.

Peas in a pod.

2010-06-03T09:39:00.003-05:00

Last week I had to call the cable company to get our internet set up in a different room. I was greeted with the standard automated messages. Starting with the "For English, stay on the line. Para continuar en espanol, primero empujen numero dos" or something. High school Spanish was a long time ago. And yet, I pressed two. For some reason I thought to myself, "Numero dos? Sì." And I wasn't completely surprised when Auto Chippie continued in Spanish, but I was somehow surprised I didn't understand her anymore.

Apparently Ella and I are peas in a pod right now. I stopped in to say hi to Natalie's class one day, and walked past a lost and found near the cafeteria. At which time I spotted one of Ella's gym shoes, that I had thankfully labeled so I could be sure. So I went to drop it in her locker. Only the other one was missing, too. So I checked the lost and found for the first grade section, and there it was. How on earth did she lose both of her gym shoes, but have them end up in completely separate and far away places? "Ella, how long have your gym shoes been missing?" "I don't know." "Why didn't you tell me you couldn't find them?" "I kept forgetting."

In other news, I think the baby reads my blog. Ever since I wrote about how much I love the baby movement, this kid won't sit still. I don't remember either of the girls moving this much. She's moving when I wake up, moving most of the day, and moving when I go to bed. While I'm still enjoying it for now, I am a little concerned this does not bode well for her sleeping after she's born.

The envelope please...

2010-05-19T13:53:00.003-05:00

I had an ultrasound last week to check out Tiny Baby. Make sure it looked like a baby and all that. Captain America and I were still torn on whether or not we were finding out a gender, so we averted our eyes during that portion and had the tech write it down in an envelope. Procrastination at its finest. I have to say, that really took the pressure off. It was nice to just focus on seeing a healthy baby.

There are a lot of unpleasant things about being pregnant. But there is one thing I never get tired of feeling. Ever. Baby movement. Little kicks and rolls. I think I just like the reassurance that things are going well in there. I admit, every once and a while I just lay in bed or on the couch, and give my stomach a little jab to see if I get one back. Poor baby. Probably trying to sleep. So it was really fun during the ultrasound to feel kicks and see it on the screen at the same time.

Everything looked like it was supposed to, except the baby measured smaller than my original due date would account for. So it has now been moved. By two weeks. There's something about going from September to October that makes it feel like eternity. But if the bun's not done, it's not done. And I want the bun to be done.

So did we open the envelope? It took us a few more days of debate. Finally on Sunday we sat down with the girls, and let them open it. We found out by having Ella read it to us, which is way cooler than an ultrasound tech we don't know. Ultrasound Tech had clearly done this before though - the sticky note was folded into quarters and put in a sealed envelope.

So there you have it. That's what's been going on around here. Oh, I suppose you want to know what we're having...it's a girl. At least, she's 95% sure that it is.

Captain America is currently working on plans for his mancave, to be constructed in about 6 or 7 years. Apparently I should not get attached to having a basement.

Mommying. And Rainbows.

2010-05-05T13:03:00.003-05:00

I don't know if you've noticed, but it's almost Mother's Day. I thought maybe for fun, I'd tell you how I got started in this biz, since it's even in my blog name.

Mother's Day is tough for a lot of people. People who had a rotten mother. Women who've lost a child. People whose mom has passed away, especially recently. Women who've had an abortion. Women who've given their baby up. Women who can't conceive.

In 2002, I think I was just starting fertility drugs around Mother's Day. I've been blessed to find myself in churches that recognize all the women on Mother's Day, for the role they play. But it was still hard to see all the proud mommies, and not be sure if I'd be one of them some day.

I was on my way to a Sara Groves concert that summer when I saw a rainbow. I knew it was for me. It was God's promise to me. I'd be a proud mommy someday. I got pregnant in July. I lost the baby the first week in August. That rainbow carried me.

I only waited a month til I started the treatments again. Soon I was pregnant with Ella. We decided not to find out if it was a boy or girl. We never really settled on a boy name, and I had a hunch it was because we didn't need it. I'd wanted a Natalie my whole life. For some reason, this wasn't her. Around 6 months, we decided she was an Ella. In June of 2003, she was born, perfect in every way (except for having broken her collarbone during delivery - sorry kid!).

The next year I was excited to learn I didn't need fertility treatments anymore - because, hey! Guess who was pregnant? 8 weeks pregnant, actually. This time we found out it was a girl, and she was Natalie from that day on. She was born in April, 22 months after her sister.

And now, Bun #3 is cooking away. After a few years of telling everyone we were done (sometimes people change their minds). My ultrasound is next week, and we still haven't decided if we'll find out boy or girl. We have zero direction on names (no matter how many times Captain America says "Baby Otis"). I feel like we're kind of winging it with this one, but I kind of like it too. I'm hoping I've mellowed a little. Maybe I won't have to split this one's Cheerios in half, for fear of choking. And with every little nudge, I fall a little more in love with the New One.

About a year ago, Ella got a Webkin. She was off with Grandma when they picked her password. Guess what word was in it? Rainbow. Which is especially funny, because rainbows have never been a big deal here. It's not like I gave them rainbow-themed nurseries (the girls had "place for you to sleep & keep your stuff" themes). I'm not sure I've ever mentioned that rainbow to anyone.

So there you have it. How I became Mommy. Who logues.

Motherhood...is hard...

2010-04-30T09:30:00.000-05:00

It's almost Mother's Day. Duh. Seems to be the topic of conversation, and as if Hallmark would let us forget it. And Target for that matter.

So I've been thinking mommy thoughts. Because I'm a mom. And a pregnant one at that. The other day I saw Jennifer Lopez on Ellen's show. Ellen asked her about being a mom of 2 yr old twins, and what she thought was the most surprising part. Jennifer answered "the guilt." I have to say, I'm totally with her on that one. The rest of it you kind of expect or hear about, but the guilt sort of blindsided me.

After I had Ella I went back to work. Granted, I was working for my dad in a family-friendly office structure and my mom was taking care of Ella. So I had it pretty good. If Ella needed something, it was pretty easy to sneak out quickly to tend to it. I often had my lunch there so I could see her. Still, when I left her for her first day of Grandmacare, I cried. I was abandoning my child. My mom would see all the firsts, and I would miss them. My mom would introduce the firsts that I wasn't ready for her to have yet. *ahem* MOM. (my favorite? Ella was around 1. "Do you know any little girls who REALLY like Hot Tamales?" Um, I don't know any little girls that I want to EAT Hot Tamales. Thank you. MOM. {hey, Mom!})

After I finally got used to leaving every day, Natalie was born. For a few months I went back to work, but it just wasn't working out (a lot of other things had changed too). So we decided I'd stay home for a bit, and try working from home. Now I was home all the time. And sometimes I wanted to leave. Alone. And you know what? I FELT GUILTY.

I think it's just part of the territory. I'm sure moms always feel like you could do a better job with your kids. I must be doing alright, in any case. They've declared me the #1 Snuggler.

I'm me again! Mostly.

2010-04-29T10:15:00.003-05:00

How sad that I've just been sitting around trying to figure out which of the many brain flickers to write about, meanwhile, perhaps you thought I really was on my last leg. Sorry about that. All of the Allergies were followed by All of the Headache. After three solid days of vacillating from irritating headache to migraine, it's finally gone. I'm me again! Well, sort of. I'm pregnant me. That's as me as I'm gonna get right now.

Speaking of which, hey, Maternity Clothes Makers of the World - what do you think pregnant women have against pockets? Have you ever seen a mommy-on-the-go that couldn't use a pocket? If I put my keys in my purse I'll never see them again. If I put my phone in my pocket, I can leave it on vibrate and not subject the world to my ringtone whims. I'm talking to you, Liz Lange! Where are my pockets? It's not like I'm worried about the extra bulk a pocket is going to add. Particularly in a velour sweatsuit. I'm not exactly dressing to impress here.

I have an ultrasound scheduled. But we haven't really come to a decision on finding out boy/girl. Captain America is in the Wait for the Surprise Camp. I can't make a solid decision to save my life. About anything, really. Part of me thinks it'd be really handy to know (we're starting from scratch, after all). Part of me loved that moment when we found out Ella was a girl in the delivery room. But then it was also nice to know Natalie was Natalie before she was born. I felt like I knew her already. I've thought about asking the tech to just write it down and put it in an envelope, in case I change my mind, but the chances that the envelope would make it all the way home still sealed are slim to none. There are still a couple of weeks to decide.

I got my first, "Hey, you're making a baby in there" the other day. I was torn between "I shouldn't be showing that much yet" and "thank goodness it's looking obvious and less like I just couldn't get enough Easter candy." Relief won. I'm 18 weeks along with my third child, and had quite a belly with the other two. This is to be expected.

In other updates, Natalie is still off the thumb. She has taken to putting her blanket in a box at night to avoid temptation. She actually even spent a few nights completely without one of her three rotating blankets. Ella's future vocation o' the week: artist, librarian, drum player. She and her good friend Parker are going to open an art gallery (she calls it an art museum). He will mostly run the place, while she is a librarian somewhere else. And she would also like to play the drums. Today she brought one of her elephant pictures to school, to see if Parker thought they should save it for the gallery.

I'm off to pick a new ringtone. And find a snack.

So long, farewell...

2010-04-19T15:53:00.002-05:00

I'm quite certain it's the end. Thursday night I started to sniffle. I could feel the allergy attack coming. I had no idea how intense it would be. The girls were struck at the same time, and I guess the only good thing about that is I didn't have to do much child wrangling. The three of us felt the need to lay low.

So low, that yesterday Ella and I spent an entire day (and I do mean the ENTIRE day) watching questionably appropriate tv from the History Channel. Ella and I shared a small trash can & a giant box of Puffs. We filled the can.

Today? Today I think my face is going to explode, particularly the left side. I can't breathe through my nose. I've spent the whole day with the feeling before you sneeze. But I can't seem to sneeze much. So my eyes just start to water, but nothing really happens. My throat itches. My lips are chapped from all the mouth breathing. My nose is chapped from all the blowing. My ears even hurt a little. I think my left eye might just pop right out. Why yes, I did have allergy medication. No, it doesn't seem to be doing squat.

So in the event this is the end: goodbye. I've really appreciated our time together.

The bump.

2010-04-16T13:21:00.003-05:00

Well. It has gone from "Holy cats, I'm having a baby!" right on into "Holy cats, there it is!" I had one pair of pants. Til yesterday. A few nights ago I managed to lift myself off the couch to an audible gasp by Captain America. Which he explained with an "it's just that you have so long to go." I think next time an "oh nothing, I just remembered something I forgot to do at work" might work better. You know. A lie. I'm consoling myself that at least I'm starting to look more like the sacred vessel I am, and less like I ate all the girls' Easter candy. Which I may or may not have done.

Back in December I read a blog by Kelly over at Lovewell, about how her baby bump was bigger at night. And I thought, "That's just weird. I never had that." Guess what? The bump is bigger at night. A lot. Maybe one day I'll take a picture of it too.

I love maternity clothes. Because it's not about trying to look skinny. But I have a rotten time buying pants, because I am short. So I have had no luck, save one pair of Old Navy maternity jeans I scored on clearance. Until I hit up a Goodwill about an hour away last night (an unexpected bonus of meeting some friends for dinner). I was a winner. And all were Target donations to Goodwill, so they were actually new. You can't imagine my excitement, because the other day a little girl from our small group Bible study asked me why I was wearing a dress. "I was warm, and I just wanted to," translation: "Well, honey, it was too hot for the only pair of pants that fit me." I celebrated the victory by buying Jelly Bellies in bulk. Which I am now hiding from my family.

*****

In other glorious news, Natalie's breaking her thumb habit. We had a great talk about it the other day. We now have a secret "stop thumb sucking" handshake. She has also learned the verse "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." And listen to this, friends, she is not sleeping with her Gie. Gee. Ghee. Oh whatever, her BLANKET. She understands that the two things go together, and she suggested maybe she shouldn't sleep with it. {Insert Hallelujah Chorus here}

Also, Ella finished reading her Bible. Which she just decided one night was something she should do. She read a lot of it out loud to Natalie, and there are not many things cuter than that. This morning she told me, "Mom? I think maybe God is proud of me for reading my Bible. Now that I read the whole thing, I can read different stories whenever I want."

So if you have a suggestion of the next Bible for her, I'd love to hear it. Hers was the Zonderkidz Beginner's Bible.

I am 32 flavors and then some

2010-04-08T09:26:00.003-05:00

Or I'm just 32. But it's a lot more fun to give it a theme song. I'm not sure if you prefer Ani Difranco or Alana Davis' cover. I like them both. It's making turning 32 seem a lot cooler.

Let's see if I can come up with 32 things about me. Because I am a shameless, "look at me! it's my birthday!" kind of person. It was actually hard when I stopped for a donut this morning and the woman behind the counter asked how I was to not say, "Great! It's my birthday!"

32 Flavors of Me!

The #1 Billboard song on the day of my birth was "Night Fever" by the Bee Gees.
My favorite cake is marble with chocolate frosting. But I'm hardly one to turn down dessert of any kind.
I don't like ice cream with cake. It makes the cake soggy.
My favorite donut is a custard bismarck with chocolate frosting.
My favorite ice cream is Ben & Jerry's Half Baked.
My ideal birthday would include zero day to day responsibility. Just some leisurely shopping and maybe a pedicure. Lots of eating. So today I may look for maternity clothes on ebay and see if I can't fix up my chipping toenail polish.
I'd be happy to wear a birthday crown.
I have crazy skinny fingers. My wedding ring is a 4 3/4. And it's a tiny bit loose. For now. Til I get more pregnant.
I would like to learn to play guitar. But it hurts my tiny fingers.
I don't drink coffee. It hurts my tummy. I am a delicate flower. But I love a good chai latte or other kinds of tea.
I have a degree in Communications. Not Mass Comm. Communications. "Let's talk about talking..." Sometimes I wish I'd gone for graphic design since that's actually what I do now. It'd be helpful. But for fun I would have done History. I think I was a History major for a few weeks. After I was an English major for a year.
I finished my 4 year degree in 3 years. Yay for summer school! Honestly, if you're going to live in Duluth, MN for the winter, you have earned the summer. It's beautiful.
If I weren't watching my caffeine intake, I'd drink sweet tea by the gallon.
One of my favorite birthday parties growing up was loading up a mini-van full of friends and going to my favorite places. Electric Fetus. Ragstock. Can you feel the pseudo-angst?
One of my other favorites was when I turned 17. My parents bought a tea party at a local historic house on a silent auction, and that was my birthday party. I invited some friends. We dressed up and had tea & scones with devonshire cream. And little tea sandwiches! I love little tea sandwiches. One day I'm getting a hutch to put my teacup collection in, and I'm going to have tea parties with little sandwiches.
Every year of my life I have expected a surprise party. Every year. For as long as I can remember. When I turned 21, Captain America and our friend Amy threw one for me. They did a stellar job. I had no clue. Amy called and invited us to her place for our weekly 90210 viewing. People had parked blocks away, and they'd hidden the shoe pile. I was so surprised that I must have gone into some kind of ugly shock. Where I looked unhappy about it. Which I wasn't. Not even in the least. It was a fantastic thing. But I must have looked it, because he has vowed never to throw one again.
I think I crave the spotlight, but often when I actually get it it makes me uncomfortable and I'm not sure what to do or say.
I think Spring is a time for road trips.
If I were to do a "career switch," I'd like to be a personal shopper.
Even though I knew Captain America had a ring, and I'd been expecting the Big Question for months in every slightly romantic moment, I had no clue when he actually started to propose. I remember when he started to talk I thought, "Aww. That's really sweet. I'm lucky." But I didn't realize where he was going with it. Apparently he has a knack for surprising me.
I'm a hobby abandoner. It was all I could do this weekend to keep from buying a sewing machine. "I could make myself new curtains! And little sundresses for the girls!" I would never actually do it. I'd just buy all the stuff. And then it would sit in a box. And I'd have to buy new curtains anyway.
I've been perusing maternity clothes on ebay. I'm looking for some sort of balance between the Britney clothes and the Michelle Duggar clothes. It doesn't seem to exist. At least, not on ebay. Or in a price range I'm willing to consider for clothes I'll wear for less than 5 months.
Heights make me nauseous. My stomach will flip if I see another person near an edge.
I'm a hyper-paranoid mother. When Ella was a baby and starting solids, I broke her Cheerios in half.
My favorite pregnancy thing is feeling the baby move. I'm just starting to get little movements now.
I got a few comments on my tattoos after my last post. I have 3. One on either side of my stomach, and one on the small of my back. A blue rose, a butterfly and some floral vine-age. My next one will be a large, big girl tattoo, the width of my lower back. Or an ichthys on my right foot. Remember how I said I have an addictive personality?
When I was 17, a boy I dated said he had a friend that would do the tattoo for me. When I walked into the guy's house, there were a bunch of people playing cards & smoking around the kitchen table. Apparently I was to get tattooed on that table. Where he was squirting ink into soda bottle caps. VETO. Instead my mom took me to a real tattoo place, and debated theology with the artist whilst he had a needle to my abdomen.
In high school, I had a love for vintage. Especially 50s dresses. And Jim Morrison, James Dean and Natalie Wood.
I actually like maternity clothes when the time comes. No more sucking in the gut.
I don't like getting manicures. I don't like having my cuticles cut and I don't like when the polish doesn't go all the way across the nail.
I am apparently very particular. In my "old" age. Or I always have been, but I'm just noticing. That's probably more likely.
I panicked about turning 30 starting when I turned 25. What a waste of 5 years. This year I get a theme song!

Whew - how bored are YOU? Well, I really appreciate you reading my enormous list, and don't blame you if you didn't. Sadly, I could have done more. I'll save it for next year.

Honest Scrap

2010-04-06T13:30:00.003-05:00

I was lucky enough to get this award from the very lovely Gretchen over at Second Blooming. She's delightful. And honest. No wonder she had the Honest Scrap award bestowed upon her. I think one of the things I like most about her is that her LA actress lifestyle is so different from my decidedly Midwestern one. And yet, mommyhood is the same the world over, isn't it? Thanks, Gretchen! Go show her some love!

The award came with rules as follows:

Thank the person giving you this award.
Copy the award to your blog.
Place a link to their blog.
Name 7 tidbits people don’t know about you from reading your blog.
Nominate other Bloggers.
Place a link to those Bloggers.
Leave a comment letting those Bloggers know about the award.

I have accomplished 1-3 (yay me!).

7 Tidbits (since many of you know me in real life, you probably know these, but let's play along, ok?):

I have 3 tattoos. I don't regret them. I'd like more.
For some reason I get more sucked into reading in the summer than winter. Which makes zero sense given my location. I should be holed up all winter reading. But when the weather gets nice, it makes me want to head to bed and read.
My favorite ice cream topping is hot cocoa mix. Dry. Sprinkled on top.
My go-to meals are pizza and cereal. I've never really had a time where I thought I'd had too much of one of them. Not sure what I should eat? Pizza or cereal is always a safe bet.
My favorite places to visit are places where you can just feel the history. Especially along the Eastern coast, and places like Wyoming.
I am easily addicted. Just ask my husband after I got going on Skee Ball at Chuck E. Cheese last week. "Just one more game..." Or, watch me eat chips & dip. I steer clear of casinos.
I have never seen "It's a Wonderful Life." Go ahead. Chastize me now.

Ok, now I get to nominate 7 fabulous bloggers.

My sister over at At Least We Know.
Alece at Grit & Glory
Soliloquy at She Just Had to Say it
Bits & Pieces
Jersey's Musings (hey, a guy! Way to represent!)
Kelly at Love Well
Libbyland

Whee! Thanks again, Gretchen!

What I'm doing instead of packing

2010-03-24T16:01:00.002-05:00

Have you seen that show "Who Do You Think You Are?" on NBC? I am RIVETED. I love it. It's a sort of random assortment of celebrities, and each week one of them researches their family history. Whether I like the celebrity or not, the show itself is fascinating. I'm a geek. Whatever.

First the celebrity starts with their own family and gets a few names. Usually no farther back than a great-grandparent. Then they head off to whatever location they know for those names. They have the help of genealogists and historians. That's what I think makes the show so interesting. They incorporate historical reference (geek. I already said that.). It's one thing to look down a line of names, but it's so much more interesting when there's an expert who can explain what those things meant at the time. For example, Emmit Smith got a name of an ancestor, but the historian was able to tell him that her last name indicated that although she was a slave, she was the daughter of the slave trader.

One thing that's amazed me watching the show, is how few generations most people have been able to go back on their own. I come from a long line of genealogy nuts. So I've already got a lot of that information, and I'm really thankful for that. I already know that I could be a legit Daughter of the American Revolution twice over. I know I'm a descendant of Lucy Stone, the first woman in the United States to keep her surname after marriage and the woman credited with getting Susan B. Anthony involved in the women's movement. We have a diary of an ancestor from the civil war. I've got a binder of family tree information with people as far back as at least the 1600s (I can't verify because it's packed - good for me!).

The other thing that makes it fun to watch, is the celebrity gets to visit the places involved. Lisa Kudrow traveled to Belarus to see the place where her great-grandmother was killed by Nazis. I've always been kind of a history nerd, and you can see how much of an impact it has on them to visit the locations. It becomes less of a story and more real. There's something to walking the literal paths your ancestors walked.

It's definitely made me want to escape my real life of needing to work and pack, and dive into some sort of family history journey. I wonder if I'll still find it as interesting when I'm not supposed to be doing other things.

To everything, there is a season

2010-03-19T15:06:00.003-05:00

Only right now, it feels like "In this season, is everything." I have muddled through the rougher parts of Trimester 1, and I'm no longer carrying plastic bags in my purse. A week from today we're closing on a house, and moving in the next day. My laptop died about a month ago, and I've been working on getting that fixed and getting my ultra-important bookkeeping file fixed. And you know what I've noticed about the nature of freelancing? I will not hear from 4 or 5 customers for a couple of months, and then they will all contact me in the same week. How does that even happen? In kid news, Natalie had another bladder infection and Ella is under allergy attack.

Also? I think I missed quite a few things that are going on. I'm sure there's more than that. Hence, I have been rather absent from Ye Olde Blog.

But I think some fun things have happened, too. Please enjoy (or just read) them in bullet form:
• I heard a heartbeat! It only lasted for 3 seconds, but it was there. Hooray!
• We're closing on our house next week! That means we're moving into our house. Hooray!
• The girls are moving on to the next level of swimming lessons. Which makes for a much more calm mommy in the pool area. Hooray!
• My ultra-important computer file has been recovered! Hooray!
• I had a yummy chocolate shake from the fancy McDonald's! This is a phenomenon I don't totally get. We have a regular McD's a couple miles from us. Fine. But then a couple miles farther is a fancy McD's. It's all marble-y and they carry several flavors of gelato. If I get a shake there, it comes in the frappuccino cup complete with whip and drizzled chocolate. Hooray! (Although the most important note here, is that neither McD's has the McRib. BOO.)
• It was in the 60s for almost a week! It was a truly delightful, springy week. Sunshine and warm weather. The neighborhood was crawling with people. We had to open our windows everyday because it was getting too hot in the house. Hooray! (I will not think about how it might snow tonight)
• I finally picked up our Wisconsin plates! Hooray! (Oddly, I noticed a tiny bottle of vodka that had been run over in the DMV parking lot. Is it a good idea to have a bump before taking your test?)

I should probably be absent from Ye Olde Blog next week as well, unless I manage to get an obscene amount of packing done this week. I'm also feeling challenged to take a week off of Facebook. But I doubt I'll feel that way come Monday. The bond is too strong...

A history of couches

2010-03-08T11:55:00.003-06:00

I was checking out a post of Kelly's over at Love Well about her first couch, and realized after starting the world's longest comment that I may as well make it a blog post.

Our first couch
When we first got married, one of my husband's coworkers offered us a couch they had at their cabin. Free! We followed them up about an hour north to the cabin, and discovered the world's oldest couch. Literally a good 40 or 50 years old. We'd shown so much excitement over getting the couch. I don't think either of us wanted it once we saw it, but they'd gone so out of their way to help us out and we were grateful. So we loaded up the world's heaviest couch in their truck, and it nearly killed us to get it into our second floor apartment. It was the heaviest piece of furniture I'd ever seen, and scratchy. It wasn't particularly comfortable, but it was a couch. Beggars can't be choosers and all that. I covered it with some kind of makeshift slipcover, and it was ours for about a year. Then it was unceremoniously dumped on the curb when we moved out, nearly killing a few people again to get it out of the building.

The second couch
Our second couch came from a newspaper ad that I swiped at work before it ran. It was a rather beaten up couch/loveseat set, but it was really comfortable. It was covered in marker stains, but we didn't really care. When we brought it into our new apartment, we knocked out a light fixture. It was clear the couch wasn't going to make it through, so my dad hopped up on the end of the couch and just yanked that light right out of the ceiling.

When it was time to move that couch out to make room for a new hand-me-down living room set, we couldn't bear to try and get it through the door again. So my brother-in-law and his dad came over, and rigged up some kind of rope & pulley action. We took it out over the balcony. Of our third floor apartment. Probably giving a few of our elderly neighbors quite a scare.

Third couch
That's when we got a living room set from Captain America's godparents. They were moving to another state, so we drove a couple hours to the Twin Cities to liberate the furniture. We scored a couch, coffee table, two wing back chairs and lamps. They'd seen better days, but now we had a grown up living room SET! Matching furniture! And after many years of marriage and three couches, I think we'd spent a total of $75 on furniture. Win!

Today
Now we have a real couch. A couple of years ago we went to Slumberland and paid real money for one. Soon we will move into our new house (hey! I should pack!), and we will have a living room AND family room. So we'll be on the lookout again. For a kind coworker. A family member or friend with extra. Newspaper ads. Craigslist. Who knows.

Excuses, excuses.

2010-03-04T17:05:00.004-06:00

Oh, Bloggy Friends. I've been such a slacker. But I promise I have a good reason. I haven't been posting because the only thing I wanted to post about wasn't yet postable.

themommylogues is about to get mommier. I'm due September 25. Ages from now.

So we're just kind of seeing how many major life changes we can fit into a year. New town, new state, new job, new schools, new church, new house, new baby. I'm keeping the husband, though.

For the next 7 months, you can expect me to bore you to death with details of cravings, virtual narcolepsy, and my too-big-already stomach.

Speaking of cravings - holy cats! I just have to hear a food mentioned in passing and I want some. I was just listening to a Dave Matthews Band song with the line "you ain't never had my cornbread" and I was all "Hey, CORNBREAD!" Also, just like with the other two pregnancies, I'm dying for some baked potatoes. Preferably from Red Lobster (hello, salt-crusted-goodness, I'll take two please). I'd told myself I was going to be better about eating habits this time, but once you're making your way toward the other side of morning sickness it's just such a thrill to want food again. The cravings move faster than they can be satisfied. A few minutes ago I was all for a chocolate shake (and some cornbread) and now I'm thinking about a good turkey sandwich from my sister's Thanksgiving turkey. With mustard. Oooh! Shiny!

Anyway. That is all.

Visions of Sugar Plums

2010-02-18T16:51:00.002-06:00

I tend to look at things a little idealistically, I think. And reality never quite matches up.

Case in point: Days off of school.

The girls have been out of school now for, oh, four hours or so. They don't go back again until next Wednesday.

Sugar Plums
What a precious time this will be. It will be so nice to have Ella home, since it seems like she's gone all the time. They'll play together and have special sister bonding time. Maybe we'll find some fun things to do. What a nice break this will be.

Reality
They have already destroyed the house. I have stepped into no less than four yelling matches. The kitchen floor is covered in construction paper, crayons, glue sticks and tape.

This I know for sure: we are going out for dinner.

The lost has been partially found.

2010-02-12T14:17:00.002-06:00

Ella is a free spirit.

A couple of weeks ago she lost her library books from school. At school. They never even made it into her backpack. Two of them got returned by someone else, and I found the last one this morning when I stopped in to deliver the class party Valentine cookies. It was on the shelf by the lockers, but nowhere near her own locker.

I'd gone in to drop off said cookies, and try to track down her lunchbox. Ella recently decided she likes getting hot lunch, even though she eats PB&J almost every day instead of getting the intended lunch. But yesterday she didn't want to consider it so she had me pack her a lunch. Which she never ate and forgot somewhere at school. I did find it, down on the other end from the library book. I think it got pretty kicked around, but hey, her lunch from yesterday was still there.

Still missing: her warmest hat and her mittens. Lost on separate occasions.

In other news, I'm starting to keep an eye out for Stacy & Clinton. I know what I'm supposed to be doing. But lately in the morning it's all I can do to get the kids out the door. I hate to admit that today I went inside Ella's school AND to Target (where I scored some major deals) before I'd managed a shower. Worse yet, I didn't even brush my hair first. I did manage some jeans and my sporty mommy-on-the-go shoes, but who was looking at that with the rat's nest in the back of my head? I was hoping it was coming off as "touseled" but in reality I think it was more "Mommy needs a shower."

Is it Spring yet?

If I had a hammer

2010-02-04T19:11:00.003-06:00

I made an important decision today. It came in a moment of clarity that I've been searching for for years.

The album I will never record would be a folk album.

Here's the bunny trail. I keep listening to that Matt Morris song "Bloodlines." That led me to his performance with Justin Timberlake for the Haiti benefit. They sang Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah," in a version closer to Jeff Buckley's. So then I started listening to some Leonard Cohen. By now I was in iTunes, and it was offering suggestions. So I listened to some Pete Seeger. Some Peter, Paul & Mary. Some Arlo and Pete. A little James Taylor. And then I went back to Peter, Paul & Mary. That's when "Leaving on a Jet Plane" got stuck in my head and my heart. I'd forgotten how much I love that song.

I'm fairly certain only two cassettes worked in our cars while I was growing up. Arlo Guthrie & Pete Seeger's "Precious Friend" and Peter, Paul & Mary's "10 Years Together." That's it. I don't remember that we listened to anything else. Driving in the car? Put in one of those tapes. We sang along. In harmony of course.

Sara Groves said something at her concert in December that totally threw me. Something along the lines of, "I didn't realize that not every family starts singing the moment they get in the car." Huh. Sounds totally normal to me.

Captain America has asked me for years what I would sing if I was really a singer. I haven't been sure. Until today. Because I think my musical heart is folk. I'm not sure if I'm a pseudo-hippie or what. I think part of it is the conviction and passion most folk singers have.

I guess another thing I love about folk music is that it can inspire change in people. You can bring people to your cause or remind people why they believe in it. And I'm such a softy a good folk song can easily bring me to tears.

So on my never-to-be-recorded album I would have the following:
1. Where Have All the Flowers Gone
2. Kisses Sweeter than Wine
3. Leaving on a Jet Plane
4. How Can I Keep from Singing
5. Amazing Grace
6. Lemon Tree
7. Early Morning Rain
8. 500 Miles
9. 75 Septembers
10. Blood and Fire
11. Midnight Train to Georgia

I'm not really sure how those songs would work together, but I guess it doesn't really matter. What with not recording it and all.

What would your album be? Not what you like to listen to most, but what would you want to represent you?

Where have you been?

2010-02-03T20:08:00.004-06:00

Or where have I been? In case you're still checking Ye Olde Blog on occasion. Some lowlights and highlights for you:

Lowlights:
• Why are my children so sickly? Natalie had a cold, then Ella got some strange stomach bug, and now Natalie has a cold again. In less than two weeks. And I got sick somewhere in there. (Sub-lowlight: bunkbeds + sick kid on top bunk = not cool)
• Turns out we didn't move THAT far south. It's still very wintry and snowy.

Highlights:
• Sometimes my children are lovely to each other when they're sick. They find each other's favorite toys and things.
• There was melting today!
• My parents came to visit us. It was fun to show them around our new city, and we took advantage of them by making them look at houses with us.
• We bought a house. Closing at the end of March if all goes well.

So the other night Captain America was praying with the girls before bed, and they talked about how they didn't like being sick. "I wish we never had to be sick." So he told them that we'll never be sick when we're in heaven. The rest went something like this:
Ella: "Yes. Someone was sick in heaven."
CA: "No, I don't think so."
Ella: "Yes. It's in my Bible."
CA: "No, I don't think it is."
Ella: "Get my Bible. It's on the shelf."

So that's how it's been here. Plenty of excitement on the horizon, that's for sure. So what have you been up to?

What? Me? Random?

2010-01-21T14:48:00.003-06:00

I've just sent the girls into their room for the second attempt at room cleaning. A project they've been working on for two hours. Because they clean for two minutes and start playing. They will, no doubt, take two more hours to clean their room. But you know what? They're staying in there. And I'm cool with that.

We've got some sort of teacher inservice going on here, so Ella had a half day today, Natalie didn't have school at all, and they don't go back til Monday. Natalie and I went to Target this morning to buy her more puzzles since she can't get enough this week. Puzzles, puzzles, puzzles. Puzzle mania. We came home, she made me open them, and then she asked to watch iCarly. She hasn't touched them since.

Did I ever tell you Diet Coke and I made up? We did. I gave up all carbonated beverages for about a month. And then I didn't care anymore. *sip*...ahhhh...

I survived Week 1 of swimming lessons for the girls. I didn't freak out or pass out OR jump in the pool. Success!

I have a deep love for music. Especially songs that are sort of haunting or gut wrenching. I saw Matt Morris on Ellen the other day, and I can't get enough of his song "Bloodline." Click here! The other song I can't get enough of lately is Lykke Li's "Possibility." Click here! You know, if you want. "Maybe There's a Loving God" by Sara Groves is one of the all-time songs of my heart. Click here!

And haunting? Do you know what song is haunting? Have you heard Alison Krauss's "My Ain True Love" with Sting? Oh my sweet haunting perfection. Click here so you can listen to it RIGHT NOW. Speaking of amazing songs from movie soundtracks. "Falling Slowly?" Anyone? Click it.

Alright. That's probably enough youtube action for today. I should check on the room cleaning progress.

Oh the past. How it haunts.

2010-01-16T13:35:00.001-06:00

So when I was little I had a boy haircut. My mom worked at a retirement home, and sometimes I'd go visit with her. I can't tell you how many times I heard, "What a cute little boy you have..." I'm really not sure how many times I heard it, but in my mind it's A LOT. I know I should consider the sources, and there may well have been people who would have said the same if I'd had my hair in pigtails. But I never wanted to have short hair again. As in, even as an adult. Every shorter haircut I've gotten I've sat in fear in that chair reciting in my head, "Please don't let me look like a boy..."

I've learned enough as a grownup to know that some people just don't pay attention. I took baby Ella places in head to toe pink, only to hear, "What a cute little boy you have..." Some people just don't look very hard. I rolled with it. Not like she's going to remember it from the baby carrier.

Ella used to have a girlie bob haircut, but it never laid quite right. She has these strange underlying curls. So we went a little shorter (she was thrilled!), and now the curls are free to curl. It's a super cute haircut. I let go of my own issues so she could have it shorter like she wanted.

This week I was taking Ella to school when her tone changed. "Mama? Yesterday we had a substitute teacher, and he thought I was a boy." I asked her what happened. Apparently the teacher was putting the kids in a boy/girl pattern. He put Ella next to a girl. Ella was too shy to say anything (any readers who know Ella will be deeply surprised at the idea of Ella ever being shy, but she is a different kid at school). And then one of the girls in her class told her she should grow her hair longer. "But Mama? I like my hair how it is."

Just rip my heart right out, why don't you? I didn't know where to start. She was embarrassed. I tried to explain that a mistake like that is not hers to be embarrassed about. She's usually so incredibly confident, that I somehow didn't envision dealing with things like this with her. And I certainly don't want to saddle her with my own issues.

Girls are such a challenge to begin with. Friends change on a daily basis. It only gets worse as they get older. I knew that part would be hard. But I somehow didn't expect the reliving of my own issues. And I didn't know how your children have so much of your heart, that their hurts really become your own.

So I tell her she's beautiful. That I love her haircut, and I'm glad she likes it. And I pray. So much. That God will somehow grant me the wisdom to raise these girls to have good self-esteem. That He will help me to keep my own issues and fears out of their lives. That they will know who made them. To know He takes great delight in them. That He knows their joy and their pain.

In which I appear on the Ellen Show. Not really.

2010-01-15T13:14:00.003-06:00

What a week.

Monday I was doing my Monday morning grocery shopping sans kids, when my sister called. "A little warning next time you're going to be on Ellen please!" I had no clue what she was talking about. But it turns out, a photo I'd sent in to Ellen's "What's wrong with these photos? photos" segment had been chosen. So my sister had randomly turned on Ellen while she did other things around the house, and then she heard my name. Ellen had a prop made & everything. I'll wait here while you go watch it.

ELLEN DEGENERES SAID MY NAME ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.

I've had a few people ask me how my 15 minutes of fame were. I maintain I still have 13 minutes left. At the very least.

If I'd known she was really going to use it, I would have had the presence of mind to stick my children next to the tv to take that picture.

I know it's not that big of a deal. I mean, it's not like I get to have a cleaning lady now. It's not like I was actually on her show, and chatting it up with Matthew Broderick in the green room. But the idea that Ellen saw something I sent her, and thought it was funny, just makes my week.

Raising teenagers.

2010-01-07T12:40:00.002-06:00

It's warmed up enough to snow. If you live south of, well, Iowa, that may seem really strange to you. But once it gets below certain temps, it doesn't even snow. Too cold. So today is a snowy and blustery day. Boo - it's sort of blizzardy. Yay! - it's warmer (which is in the 20s).

I have noticed lately that we seem to be raising a couple of teenagers. Only they're four & six. It's coming in two forms right now. Clothing and language.

Clothing
I may have mentioned (once or a billion times) Natalie has clothing issues. They now include: no leggings, no tights, no turtlenecks, no tank tops, no dress shoes, no sweaters, no pants that aren't jeans. She is also particular about the rest of the items she agrees to wear. Currently jeans cannot have holes in them because it is too cold (even though she wears snowpants to school). Shirts can only be a certain length. Honestly I haven't mastered the rest of the requirements, because there doesn't seem to be rhyme or reason. A shirt I think will pass does not. Her Christmas pj's were rejected. "I don't want long sleeves." Nevermind the fact she was wearing long sleeved pajamas at the time she said that. That her very favorite pj's were the same style. All tight fitted pajamas are immediately vetoed, along with pajama dresses.

I try not to argue much. I remember feeling like a turtleneck was choking me. Or feeling like the wool was rubbing my skin right off. It's only a little frustrating because she's not wearing all of Ella's hand-me-downs, and sometimes she tells me she'll wear something and after I buy it she won't.

Language
Ella has picked up some new and exciting phrases. Mostly thanks to the bus ride home, I think. She's started in on the elementary jokes. You know the ones - long, complicated, drawn out ways to get someone to say "threw up." She's learning them from Kyle. Who is in 4th or 5th grade. But we have to be nice to Kyle - he shovels our driveway.

And her latest, unrelated to Kyle's teachings is "I was like." Only, instead of using it in a story about something that happened a while ago, she repeats what she just said. For example, "I'm gonna wear my pirate hat to bed. {pause} I was like, 'I'm gonna wear my pirate hat to bed!'" Just like that. Just right in a row. Without time for anyone to respond to her original statement. And then she laughs hysterically at her own funniness.

Never a dull moment.

I can't bear to take the tree down.

2009-12-29T13:27:00.002-06:00

Maybe it's that we're never ready right after Thanksgiving for the tree, so ours goes up later. Maybe it's that I don't like to let Christmas go. Maybe I'm just lazy. I think it's the middle one (I am lazy - I just don't think that's my issue with the tree). Our tree is still up. I easily want to leave it up for another week. January is bleak enough, must we take down the festive tree?

Plus, the girls are home all day with Christmas break and it seems like a shame to take it down. We're not even done celebrating Christmases yet.

Speaking of Christmas break, my children are crazy. Today they've been wearing swimsuits, and trying on all my shoes. Mostly just the heels. Then they built forts with the kitchen table, and they're still wandering around in swimsuits.

I think maybe we might need to get out of the house a little bit.

Hunkered down

2009-12-28T08:58:00.002-06:00

That's how we spent Christmas. Hunkered down. Natalie ended up with a bladder infection (Happy Holidays!), so we spent the days before Christmas running around to the clinic and pharmacy. Also, preparing for the Great Christmas Blizzard of Oh-Nine.

In the end it just rained here. But that led to ice, slush and who knows what else, since we didn't actually go outside. Captain America worked from home on Christmas Eve because of the ice. So we all stayed in Thursday and Friday. The girls wore jammies for a good 72 hours or more. Clean jammies every day. But if Natalie's home, she's wearing jammies. Even if it's just for an hour.

It was a very relaxing Christmas. The girls were definitely feeling the spirit. It was lovely. They were really excited about the gifts they were giving, especially each other, which was nice. So much "I hope you like it!" and "This is my favorite!" followed by Hallmark-style hugs. Just lovely.

And then it was Saturday. And we'd been cooped up together since Wednesday afternoon. So we decided a little chaos would be nice and we went to walk around the mall. And Natalie cried that her legs were tired. Before we even got in from the parking lot.

By Sunday afternoon, I think Captain America was counting the minutes til he could go back to work.

No school til January 4! How exciting! I am already planning some errands for as soon as he gets home from work today. ALONE. Santa brought Caribou gift cards, and I know how to use them.

It's true.

2009-12-21T13:49:00.003-06:00

I had the opportunity (or rather, I made an opportunity where there probably shouldn't have been one) to see a Sara Groves concert last week. It was sweet Sara Groves perfection, and it was completely worth the 4 1/2 hour drive. One way.

Christmas is coming (what?). I have a tendency to get so caught up in the hype, that I'm often afraid I'll miss it. Two things can bring me easily back. Linus and Toby.

1. Linus
Is there a better moment in holiday television than when Linus explains the Christmas story?

2. Toby
There's a song of Sara Groves that's been following me since I got the cd LAST Christmas. And especially this year I am sort of soaking in it. It's called It's True. It's one of those songs where a kid talks in the intro, and I am SO not a fan of those generally speaking. That said, she has her middle child, Toby, say something at the beginning and the end that is essential Christmas to me. He did it at the concert as well, and I couldn't help but tear up. So I want to share it with you. The way it's worded just makes everything clear for me.

Mary, you're going to have a baby.
A little boy. You will call him Jesus.
"Wait, God was sending a baby to rescue the world?
But it's too wonderful!" Mary said.
"How could it be true?"
"Is anything too wonderful for God?" Gabriel said.
So Mary trusted God, more than what her eyes could see.

That same night, in amongst the other stars,
suddenly a bright new star appeared.
Of all the stars in the dark vaulted heavens,
this one shown clear.
It blazed in the night, and made the other stars look pale beside it.
God put it there when his baby son was born,
to be like a spotlight shining on him.
Lighting up the darkness.
Showing people the way to Him.
You see, God was like a new dad.
He couldn't keep the good news to himself.
He'd been waiting all these long years for this moment.
And now--
He wanted to tell everyone.

Honestly. That's just it for me. First, Mary trusting God more than what her eyes can see. Sometimes we all have to do that. And then thinking of that night, and God being like a new dad who can't wait to tell people. Most expectant parents have 9 months to wait, and it seems like forever. But I believe God always knew that night was coming. Can you imagine? He'd been waiting for that night since the beginning of time. And not just for the birth of His son, but for the chance to be with us. To rescue us. Rotten, broken, pretenders like us. All of us. Rescuing us in every way.

It's not a fairytale. It's not a story or folklore. It is real and true. The implications are true. The blessing is true. And The Gift is true.

So this is Winter

2009-12-10T15:40:00.002-06:00

We had a snow day yesterday, after a good old-fashioned blizzard. The airport reports 17.5" of snow was dumped on us in around 24 hours. Today the high is 6 degrees.

Captain America hitched a ride down to work from someone up the street (a coworker - he didn't actually just stand on the street with this thumb out). This meant by afternoon our driveway still hadn't been touched. Watching the wind swirl snow around outside, I had zero desire to do anything to it.

And then the doorbell rang. My rescuers. Two 10 yr old boys. If they were even 10. They offered to shovel our sidewalk & driveway for $2 each. Apparently I looked surprised. "You look shocked. $3? $4?" I told them I'd give them each $5. DEAL.

Meanwhile the girls were still inside in jammies. I had big crafting plans for yesterday, but they had to clean their room first. Which meant we ended up with about 20 minutes at the end of the day to make ornaments. Every time they go to clean their room they get sidetracked playing. I'm not good about keeping them on task when they're being quiet and occupied. I kind of stop caring what the task is, and just enjoy the silence.

So it turned out as I should have expected. Instead of spending the day making ornaments and baking cookies and ending up reading by the fire with mugs of hot cocoa, it was more like, "Did you clean your room yet? Then no." But they managed the day without killing each other. Or me killing them. Success!

Lo, these many seasons

2009-12-03T08:00:00.001-06:00

Up North we have something called Seasons. I think in places like San Diego, you just have one, WarmandPleasant. And in the south it might be more like two - Hot and Less Hot. We have an abundance of seasons up here.

June - August: Summer
September - October: Fall
November: Pre-winter
December - February: Real Winter
March - April: Less Winter
May: Spring (with potential for Less Winter)

This requires a lot of clothing options. Which means, we have a variety of coats and jackets. Light. Light with a hood. Light and water resistant. Warmer, for transition. Warmer with a hood in case of rain/snow mix. Wool. Down parka.

I'll try to hold off on the down & wool coats for a little while longer. You wear them for so long up here that you get really sick of them come March. And once it hits 35 or so again after Real Winter, I'll put away the wool for the warmer transition jacket.

Also, I change out my closet every few months. Apparently this week it is time for the change to Real Winter clothes. After summer, I pull out some Fall clothes. Light sweaters and such. But now that it's getting colder, I need to get out the really warm sweaters. And it's time to pack away short sleeves for the season. Their time has passed. The house we're renting isn't really conducive to such behavior. There's extremely limited storage. Which means I'm going to have to take everything out of the little crawl space to find the Real Winter clothes. So for now, I'm just layering the best I can. And I'm cold.

I seem to forget about the Real Winter clothes that are packed away every year. So when it gets colder, I rush out to buy warmer sweaters. And then I open the box of warm sweaters and discover I have no less than five that are gray. And at least two of those look suspiciously alike, and are both some sort of cheap cashmere blend.

I'm doing my best to resist the call of the warm sweater in the stores, until I've dug up the warm sweater tote. It's just that the combination of cabin fever from staying home with The Sickie and the cooler temps and living closer to things like Old Navy make me want to run out and buy this sweater in every color they have.

So which do you think I'll do first? Break down & buy a sweater, or put up the Christmas tree? Tough call.

Remember when I was thankful?

2009-12-02T10:27:00.002-06:00

I mean, I'm still thankful. But we went out of town for Thanksgiving and I totally imagined myself sitting in front of my parents' fireplace with a mug of cocoa blogging my thankful heart out. Not so much on that one. If for no other reason than my laptop has given up being portable. I must remain plugged in at all times. Which somewhat defeats the laptop purpose.

Dear Economy:
Please pick up, so I can buy a new laptop.
Thanks.
Sincerely,
Me

Then we came home. And Natalie immediately contracted the plague. You see, my Natalie is a delicate flower. If she's off her sleeping schedule (HELLO, spending the night at alternating grandparent houses and All The Excitement), I can nearly guarantee you she will get sick. Yesterday I took her in to the doctor who said, "Looks like H1N1, but let's do a throat culture for those little red bumps in the back of her throat." Sure enough, Mini-Me has strep. She's definitely perking up though, because today she has become the Demanding Sickie. "MOOOOM! I SAID I wanted some YOJ!!!!" As you wish, Your Highness.

I'd like to clarify my thankfulness of my problems. It's not that I'm saying, "Yippee! I have problems!" I mean, we've been having an impressive ordeal with selling our house, and it has stressed me out here and there. But I'm so thankful that these are my problems, and not something horribly worse. So many people are going through way worse situations. I need to keep things in perspective. So really, my problems are hardly worth whining about. I wish that actually stopped me.

I'm planning to keep being thankful even though Thanksgiving is done, and I challenge you to do the same. I won't be posting it as much, but I'm going to keep a little journal of it for myself. Because nothing puts a kabosh on stress like reminding myself how good I've got it. Or a good chai. And, I'll be honest, maybe a glass of wine.

I leave you with this sad little face, post-doctor's office. Please remember that today she is fever-free and barking out commands like she runs the place.

A Week of Thanksgiving - Day 5

2009-11-23T20:09:00.002-06:00

Today I am choosing to be thankful for my problems. It could be worse.

That's all I've got.

A week of Thanksgiving! Day 4

2009-11-22T19:28:00.003-06:00

Our pastor has been talking about thankfulness, and instead of focusing on one day a year, changing it to ThanksLiving. Always having an attitude of thankfulness. Part of the scripture he used today was from Colossians 2:6-7:

⁶So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, ⁷rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

I'm finding it's easier to focus on Him when I'm constantly reflecting on what I've been given. Not just material things. But the people in my life, the gorgeous surroundings, words, music -- it's all a gift.

So today I am thankful for:

Our church, which felt like home the day we walked in. I'm thankful for the people in it, and their vision and mission.
Good friends, that I can talk to or see after forever and just pick up where we left off.
Girl Scout cookies.
Hot chocolate.
Wisconsin cheese.
Everything this week holds.

A Week of Thanksgiving - Day 3

2009-11-21T21:15:00.002-06:00

I bet you thought I was going to forget. Because I almost did.

I had a lovely day at the spa today. I had a gift card from Christmas, so I headed off for a super relaxing spa retreat. I'm a person that enjoys entertainment. I like to watch tv. Or listen to music. Or read. And I like to multitask. So just sitting in a quiet room drinking tea while I waited for my massage & facial was really good for me.

I took some time to be think about more things I'm thankful for. Such as:

Quiet
Tea
Nice smells (including the smell of pine trees in the fall)
A husband who easily handles the kids so I can do things like go to the spa
Driving. I love going for a drive - even if it's an hour.
Quiet

A week of Thanksgiving! Day 2

2009-11-20T12:11:00.002-06:00

There is much to be thankful for today. And I'm going to focus on those things. And not the things that are attempting to make me insane.

Wheee!

I am thankful:

That this time tomorrow I will be in the middle of 50 minutes of facial, after I'm done with 50 minutes of a massage (courtesy of a gift card from last Christmas).
For mild temps even as we approach the end of November.
That I won a Zhu Zhu pet set on a blog a while ago, so we're covered for Christmas (although if you know my children, you know that I need to find one more Zhu Zhu pet. Have you seen the hysteria over the Zhu Zhu pets? If I put this set on ebay, I could make enough to fund our entire Christmas).
That I ended up getting to sit on the couch with Natalie for over an hour last night reading books (She's a big fan of the Llama Llama books right now).
For the chance to help some college kids out with some green bean casserole today.
That God has always provided, and He will continue to do so, out of His infinite wisdom. And that His plan is always better and more complete than mine.

I must remember this strategy for the next time life is creeping up on me. Making a thankful list does wonders for ye olde attitude.

A week of Thanksgiving! Day 1

2009-11-19T12:47:00.002-06:00

And by using that title, I nearly ensure I will not remember or sit down to post every day for a week.

So here are my "thankful fors" for today (in no particular order):

Healthy family
A warm place to live, complete with maintenance people (ahhh, renting...)
A Starbucks on my way from school to the grocery store, by way of Target.
Diet Ginger Ale (delightful)
A new cookbook
Good friends
Music

This week I'm also thinking a lot about the people who are going to have a tough Thanksgiving. Maybe they won't have much to eat or feel that there isn't much to be thankful for this year. Maybe they've lost someone special this year and nothing will feel right. Some will be very lonely, whether or not they are surrounded by people. I pray everyone will know how deeply God cares for them, even if it doesn't seem like it.

Here are the lyrics to a song by Chris Tomlin that I've been listening to a lot this week:

Come Home Running

Oh heart of mine, why must you stray?
From one so fair you run away
And one more time you have to pay
The heaviness of needless shame

Oh heart of mine, come back home
You've been too long out on your own
And He's been there all along
Watching for you down the road

So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are

Oh child of God so dearly loved
And ransomed by the Savior's blood
And called by name, Daughter and Son
Wrapped in the robe of righteousness

Reclaim Thanksgiving!

2009-11-17T16:32:00.003-06:00

I love me some Christmas, and some Christmas music, but it's always so sad how Thanksgiving gets overlooked.

Wanna Reclaim Thanksgiving with me? Here are a few ways I'm doing that - let me know if you have more:

1. Blog about what you're thankful for
2. Rework every Facebook status into something you're thankful for
3. Follow me on Twitter! I'm tweeting what I'm thankful for using #reclaimthanksgiving
4. Start a thankful list - you might be surprised how quickly it will grow
5. Let people know - if you're very thankful for something someone did for you, thankful for their friendship, or just thankful they're in your life - tell them

If you try it just until Thanksgiving Day, I can't even tell you how it will impact your perspective. I've found I'm thinking of all the little things I'm grateful for, and less about things that aren't going well. I'm able to focus on all the blessings in my life, instead of the junk. It's less about me. And I like it.

I'd love to hear some things you're thankful for, too!

ThanksLiving

2009-11-15T16:00:00.004-06:00

Yesterday (November 14 if you're wondering), I took the girls to the mall to look for a couple of things. When we walked in through Barnes and Noble, there was Christmas music playing. When we got inside the mall, we saw Santa has already taken residency.

Love Christmas. Feel bad for Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. I love the idea of focusing on all the good things in our lives, and giving thanks to the One who provided it all.

One of my favorite Thanksgiving things is at our church back home. It's got a fancy name like the "Harvest Festival of Praise." I still call it the Thanksgiving Eve service. We've actually been going since before we had moved there, and it's always been one of our favorite things. It's a service with mostly music. Some kids, some families, some hymns. The saw*. Lots of pie afterward. What I love about it is that it helps me to slow down and refocus. Instead of thinking of all the things I have to do, I'm reminded why we're doing it.

I'm excited that we're able to go again this year even though we've moved. I feel incredibly blessed and thankful this year. And I think it's time to reclaim Thanksgiving. It's time to focus on what we've been given, and not take any of it for granted. I'm going to keep a list for myself and keep adding to it. Well beyond Thanksgiving.

Our pastor this morning talked about living with an attitude of gratitude. ThanksLiving. I love that idea. And I know when I am able to focus on all the things I'm thankful for, everything looks better. His scripture was in Luke 17, when Jesus healed the ten lepers, and only one came back to thank Him. I pray that I would not be so full of myself, that I would run off without a second thought. I pray that I would be thankful in everything, so that the only thing I could think of would be going back to the One who has blessed me. To shout His praise the whole way there. To fall at His feet. I pray that my faith will make me well.

*Edited to add: Burt actually plays a hymn of some sort on the saw every year (no Saw movies). It's quite impressive - and a favorite of a lot of the kids (and me). It's not Thanksgiving for me until Burt plays the saw.

In which I quote Friends yet again

2009-11-13T13:29:00.003-06:00

So a couple of weeks ago we had a game night with our small group. Only a few of us could make it, and Captain America stayed home with a cougher so I could go be among the grownups. We played the game Loaded Questions. One of the questions was something about "what kind of pattern is never appropriate on bedsheets?" or something. I tried to think. Puppies? Perfectly good on kid sheets. Sports teams? Again with the kid sheets. Huh. Seems there's something that's going to always work. What's a symbol that wouldn't work? Peace signs? That'd be kind of a tween sheet set. Swastikas. I mean really, never a good idea. And how weird would that be on sheets?

This past week we did a make up game night, since so many people missed the previous week. We started talking about the sheet question from last week, and before my answer is mentioned Captain America pipes up with something about Nazi Germany.

See?? He's my lobster! (I don't know if you've seen that episode of Friends. I try not to think about how often I still bring back a quote or an episode thought from a show that's been off the air forever. If you need a refresher (if you care), click here. I'll wait.)

I laughed so hard I had tears. Honestly, what are the chances he'd think of the same thing? Clearly, we are perfect for each other, what with our mutual disdain for swastika covered bedding.

They get it from me, I guess

2009-11-06T08:29:00.002-06:00

When I get a cold, there's a good chance I'm going to have a serious coughing fit. A couple of times. I remember several times in school, I'd cough so hard that I'd have to just leave the room because I couldn't stop long enough to ask the teacher to go to the nurse's office. I'd cough like crazy. Til my eyes watered. Til I nearly gagged. No amount of water or cough drops could make it pass. I just had to cough it out. I still get those sometimes (often with horrible timing - like during church). I have even coughed so hard that I seemed to sprain my tongue.

And guess what? My girls are coughers. When they get a cold, they cough. Not the smoker's hack. Not the baby seal. Just as if they've swallowed water the wrong way. They'll cough all day. No fevers. Nothing else. A little sniffle means a lot of coughing. Natalie stayed home Wednesday, and Ella's coughing day is today. They'll do it 3 or 4 times in a school year. They'll cough a bit, and then one day they'll just cough non-stop. Usually when it's at the tail-end. So the terrible coughing day is when they're actually getting better.

But since it's just a cough, and they don't feel particularly sick otherwise, they're kind of high maintenance sickies. Not interested in laying on the couch all day. ENTERTAIN ME. Natalie's a little easier than Ella, because she's willing to watch more movies & relax. Ella's gonna last through almost one movie. And then she'll feel done with being sick. It's hard keeping them home from school, when they don't feel terrible or have fevers. But I do it more because it's such a distraction. And I suppose they're coughing out a bunch of cold germs.

So today I won't really get anything done. And I'll think a lot about that gingerbread latte I was going to try after dropping Ella off. Or the walk I was going to take since it's already 50 & sunny. I will miss my few hours of peace. But I still feel grateful. Grateful I work from home, so it doesn't throw my day off that much. Grateful it is just a cold. Grateful I'm familiar with their colds now, and I know what to expect. And so very grateful just to have them for another day. Our friend Patty just lost her 4 month old grandson in his sleep. This life does not make promises or guarantees. So today I will be thankful to listen to the coughing.

My brilliant costume plan

2009-10-27T08:34:00.002-05:00

This year I decided we would not buy Halloween costumes. We have a huge Rubbermaid tote of dress up clothes. It would be so fun for the girls to pick something out, and to have choices available for the different Halloween festivities. Sunday we went Trick or Treating at the mall. This week they have Halloween parties at school. And then of course, Halloween. Won't that be fun?

Am I new? Hi, my name is Sarah, and I have apparently not met my own children. Also, I like to reinvent the wheel. With a less effective wheel.

The girls were fine with the whole thing. Yes! We love these costumes! You're the best mom ever! (I maybe just heard that last one in my head)

Sunday they did Trick or Treating at the mall. Ella went as a pirate (a costume I purchased for around 75¢ at the Target 90% off clearance last year). Natalie was Batgirl (Ella's costume from last year). Great. Fun.

Today is Natalie's school party. She gave me strict instructions that she was not to wear anything too scary or have any weapons. She told me that. "No weapons." I think all of our costume options fit in the safe category. So last week she said she would be Batgirl. Last night she said no, she did NOT want to be Batgirl. She wants to wear her monkey costume (you know - the one that was slightly too small last year, now way too small - the one I gave to her cousin without telling her?). Sorry. It was too small and now it's gone. Tears. Wailing. I start looking at the clock to see if I still have time to run to Target with her for a new costume. Because shopping cures all.

Fine. She will be a pirate. She tried on the whole costume. She felt good about it right down to her eye patch. We laid it all out for morning.

Then she woke up this morning. Yay! Today's party day! Won't it be fun for you to wake up and get dressed for your party! As a pirate! No. No it won't. She looked at me like I was stupid. She wants the monkey costume. It's still too small (at least 2 sizes). And gone.

7:05 a.m. Natalie wants to be a monkey.
7:08 a.m. Natalie wants to be a dancer with a tutu (but she will NOT wear leggings!)
7:12 a.m. Natalie wants to be a dancer with jazz pants
7:14 a.m. Natalie tells me Ben is going to wear his pjs.
7:17 a.m. Natalie wants to be Batgirl (you know, the ORIGINAL CHOICE FROM LAST WEEK).
7:20 a.m. Natalie refuses black leggings under the costume, insisting that shorts will be fine. Even though it is 30 degrees out right now. "I like to be cold!"
7:25 a.m. Natalie finally agrees to wear jeans under the Batgirl costume. But she wants light jeans. Not dark jeans. Not those. Those. And she would like socks that go over her ankles. Not plain white. No characters.

And that, my friends, is why you get a new costume every year. Because then it's just what you are. Because you are excited for your New Costume.

I have a very, VERY long 14 years ahead of me.

Ella blogs #1

2009-10-26T10:57:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I had Ella write a story for some homework, and I thought perhaps she could use ye olde blog to share it. The only rule was I wouldn't tell her how to spell anything. Which nearly killed her with her spelling compulsiveness. She chose to write about cats. She has even provided an illustration. Enjoy.

Cats, are the thing I no and thay ned woder and food and ned thaer har brusht. and nap. and play. Greta is are cat and we love, her and she is nise to. and I like to play with her to.

Their other lives

2009-10-21T11:57:00.003-05:00

Last night we had parent/teacher conferences. It's a fascinating thing to me, because it reminds me that my children have their own little lives going on that I don't know a whole lot about.

First we went to Natalie's room, where she got to show Ella all of the pets. Natalie's room is a bit of a menagerie. There are two fish tanks. One for grown up fish and one for babies. There's a frog named Charlotte in a tank. And there's a giant cage with three degus named Benny, Tico and Diego. I'll wait here while you click here to find out what on earth a degu is.

Natalie's teacher told us she is shy. But not so shy that she won't participate. She just doesn't often initiate play. And lately she has started talking more. None of that was very surprising. I guess they're working on Natalie standing up for herself. Which seems strange, given her actions around home. But when she's at school, if someone else wants to play with something she just gives it to them. If someone hurts her feelings she leaves and hides out in a corner so no one can see her upset. So her teacher said she's working on that with her. That it's ok to take your own turn. And that it's ok to tell someone you didn't like what they said or did.

Ella was kind of a different kid in her conference. While she's usually pretty boisterous, she was very quiet. She's a good reader. She likes to do her math independently. She's chatty (what??), but she's able to focus when she's supposed to focus. She is apparently VERY hung up on spelling. They've started working on hearing the sounds in words, and they are only expected to write the sounds. Ella's teacher said after they do those exercises, Ella will ask if she got all the spellings right. And she will tell her, "You got all the sounds, great job." And Ella will say, "But did I get the spellings right?" Perhaps we should start grooming her for spelling bees.

It was fun after the conference, to read Ella's homework book with her. After hearing her teacher talk about her reading, Ella tried harder than usual to sound words out. And she did a great job.

So it was a fascinating glimpse into the lives they're leading away from home. Captain America and I feel like they have the right teachers for them, which is a relief after moving to a place where we didn't know the teachers or the school.

Thank you for praying for our friend, Tony. He is cancer-free. His lungs are healing. He is home.

There went October.

2009-10-20T14:28:00.002-05:00

Next week is the end of October. How, exactly, did that come about?

To celebrate, or to mourn, here is another miscellaneous collection of thoughts.

I spent last weekend at Women of Faith having Sister Retreat. I think I've been to 4 or 5 and this was the best one. We had a good time, and have made Grand Plans for the next one we attend.

A couple nights ago Natalie told me if I helped her clean their room the next day, she'd give me one of her pennies. I didn't fall for it.

Ella has added a crew to her busy recess schedule. She is now on a spy crew, and a vampire crew. I am choosing to believe it's more about Halloween than Twilight. I asked her what vampires do. "I don't know." Ok then.

I got my hair cut. I'm sure it will take some time for the relationship to develop, but I enjoyed her. I still miss Jen, but I don't think I'll shop around. New Hair Person seems like a keeper.

What I enjoyed most about the Winnie the Pooh series is the capitalization. I like to capitalize Important Things in the style of A.A. Milne whenever possible.

It's Halloween next week. I'm not sure what we'll have here. They've been digging through the dress up box changing their minds as they go.

I finished Donald Miller's new book, A Million Miles. I really enjoyed it and I recommend it. It's basically thinking of your life as more of a story.

To get in the mood for Halloween, I've been enjoying Beck's Halloween stories over at Frog and Toad. Start here. It's a delightfully creepy twist on children's stories. I'm totally buying the Max & Ruby one as truth.

Miscellaneous Monday

2009-10-05T19:28:00.002-05:00

It's 7:30 pm on Monday night. I'm the only person in Wisconsin and Minnesota NOT watching the Vikings/Packers game. Or I'm one of the very few. Captain America went to a sports bar right after work to try and secure seats with some friends. I'm going to find something incredibly girly to watch just to protest.

I just took the girls to the mall for a while. It was incredibly slow there, what with all the football going on. Pre-game. Pre-pre-game. It would have been nicer, if Natalie hadn't been so tired. CARRY me!

Highlight from our evening: Over ice cream with the girls, we're talking about fire safety. It's one of our favorite topics. Which leads to Ella saying, "Mama? You can replace babies. If you lose one, you can just have another one." Not quite, honey.

It's getting chilly & rainy. It was mid-50s, and yet Ella insisted on wearing flip flops. With her jeans, long sleeved shirt and puffy vest.

I noticed today that whenever Natalie wears her new stylish boots, she rolls up her jeans so you can see more of them. That's my girl. It's all about the shoes.

I ate another Tagalongs blizzard. And I wish I hadn't.

I'm so depressed over losing my amazing and wonderful hair stylist by moving, that I'm in complete denial. I haven't had a haircut since June. And it shows. It's not pretty. But maybe if I never cut it, I won't have to come to terms with it. I miss you, Jen.

Would you please pray for Tony? His lung is collapsed, and apparently if it doesn't heal it may need to be removed. Pray for complete healing and restoration of his health, and for strength for his family -- it's been a long year.

I even confuse myself.

2009-10-02T14:18:00.002-05:00

I don't like beans. Never have. They are pasty. The flavor is not worth the pastiness. I will never be caught eating baked beans. Just, no. And I don't like bell peppers either. Never have. I can manage them in salsa, but prefer not to think about it.

So can you explain to me my new obsession with roasted red pepper hummus? A big bowl of smushed chickpeas (also known as garbanzo BEANS)? Flavored with red peppers. With small chunks of red pepper. And not a little.

I tried it one day and liked it. Last night I bought some at SAM'S CLUB. I am the only one in my house who will eat it. And now I have it in a Sam's Club sized portion.

What on earth? It's just so good.

In other news, the other day Ella was telling me about her Spy Crew. Apparently she's gathered some girls together at recess to be on her Spy Crew. Her words, not mine. She's all nonchalant about it too. "Oh, she's on my Spy Crew." Sounds like the boys have a Spy Crew as well, and I think they battle their spy-ness at recess.

Sayings and swaps from Natalie:
"Yeah, she wants to be my friend."
"It's a special day!"
"on this day" = today (I almost hope she never grows out of this one. So cute.)
"on the next day" = tomorrow

Back to School Shopping, One More Time

2009-09-28T10:27:00.004-05:00

In August when I did the back to school shopping, I really only did what the girls needed right away. So yesterday I found myself in the dressing rooms with Ella again in search of pants. Since today she was going to be standing at the bus stop in 50 something degrees with gale force winds. She literally had one pair of fleece pants that fit her, and the rest have been put in her sister's drawer.

We started at Target, because I enjoy buying pants for $7 when who knows what is going to happen to them. Especially on the playground. Ella has been to the school nurse no less than five times already this year, often for wound cleanup and bandaids. I've been having a terrible time figuring out her size, so I grabbed five pairs of pants and we headed to the dressing room. It went like this:

Ella: "Where are the boys' dressing rooms?"
Me: "On the other hallway."
Ella: "Ok, good."
Ella: "Where is the button to press when you need help?"
Me:"Honey, this is Target. They have the button at the Gap. Get your shoes & pants off, and start with this pair of jeans."
Ella: "Is the door locked?"
Me: "Yes, the door is locked."
After trying on two pairs of jeans, Ella says, "Mom? I think I'm getting comfortable with this. It took three times in a dressing room, but now I feel better."

She tried on all five pairs, and lo and behold I bought her the same size I did last year. Her other jeans in that brand and size have apparently shrunk like crazy because Natalie is wearing them now. Perhaps this is what comes of buying $7 pairs of jeans?

Then we stopped in the shoe aisle. Because, have you missed our shoe trouble this year? I have purchased and returned at LEAST four pairs of shoes. Yesterday she tried on a pair and said, "Mom! I love these! I think God put these here for me so we could get them! They're my size!" Yes, honey, Mommy firmly believes that sometimes God puts shoes in the store just for us...

Next stop: Old Navy.
Not that you're keeping track, and why would you? But the last time we went Ella would not leave the store without this vest. Lucky for her it's finally cold enough to wear it this week. I picked out more jeans for her to try, and a couple of shirts. And then Ella saw these in purple. "Oh Mommy! Can I get these? Please!! I promise I'll wear them!" She tried on a pair and we carried them around for a while. Then we had to go to the dressing room.

E: "Um, Mom? Are you sure the door is locked?"
M: "Yes, Ella. When you close the door it locks. Try these jeans on."
E: "But how do you KNOW it's locked?"
M: "It is. Every time you close it, it's locked. Here we go, take your shoes off."
E: "I'm not as comfortable with this. I liked it better when the bench was on the side, not in the back."
M: "Ok, well, let's just try these on quickly and be done."
E: "Do they have a button if we need a different size?"
M: "No, honey. We'll just ask the nice girl by the door if we need something."

To my dismay she did not like the super cute skinny jeans that she could have tucked into her new boots. They felt funny. But she did have a good lesson in denim cuts, and now knows her skinny leg from her bootcut from her flare.

On our way up to the counter I noticed the sneaky Old Navy people had put racks of clearance right in the middle for all to see. I nabbed $12 worth of clothes. Which got me a short sleeved sweater, a long sleeved dress and a pair of denim capris. The capris were $1.98. Have you ever even heard of such a thing? One pair. My size.

Maybe God put those capris there just for me...

The conclusion. Sort of. But not really.

2009-09-25T16:10:00.004-05:00

Remember last year, when my friend Tony got cancer and I was thrown into a hideous spiral of funk?

THE CANCER IS GONE.

Praise God, the cancer is gone. They just found out this week that there are no cancer cells. Unfortunately Tony likes to get pneumonia. There's an infection in his lung, and it's collapsed. So please keep him and his family in your prayers. I can't imagine how wonderful it would feel for them to put all of this behind them, and for him to feel well again. Even throughout the treatments, he kept singing on the worship team and wrote some amazing new songs (yeah, I've only heard one, but I'm pretty confident the rest are good too). It's time for a new cd, I think.

God is really, really BIG. Every time I drive around surrounded by the bluffs, sometimes draped in fog, I can't help but think it. All the different landscapes He's created. The magnitude of what He can do. And to think that He holds each of us close to His heart and truly cares about each of us, whether we see it or not.

Hack, hack

2009-09-21T13:40:00.003-05:00

Oh dear friends, it has been a long week.

Mid-week last week Ella started to sniffle. Her throat hurt. I chalked it up to allergies or a cold, because there was no fever involved. She was still pretty perky, so I sent her off to school on Thursday. Right after I got Natalie off on the school bus at 8, I got a call from school to pick Ella up. She had apparently thrown up on the bus. Poor baby. So I ran over to get her. She looked like she felt pretty yucky, so I grabbed her backpack and said, "So you threw up on the bus, huh?"

Blank look. "No."

So what it boils down to, is a few girls brought her into the office saying she'd thrown up on the bus, I don't think she actually did because she says she didn't. She kept saying she "got sick" on the bus, and I'm betting she said that and they assumed she'd thrown up. Really she just started to feel junkie. I'm not positive, but that's my guess.

Bottom line is Thursday Ella was home sick. She laid down & watched a movie for about an hour or so. Then she popped up. "Mom? What can I do? Can I make a craft I've never made before? Can I fingerpaint?" So much for sickness.

That night Natalie woke up crying. And she didn't stop much til morning. "My fwoat sows." Same cold thing Ella had. Only it kept Natalie up almost the whole night. I think I probably got about 3 one hour naps in over the course of the night. Called her in sick Friday, and sent Ella back. She was pretty ok by mid-morning as well. Despite her lack of sleep. And mine.

The hack-y sisters have been going for a few days now. Bored out of their minds. Hack, hack. "Chase us!" Hack, hack.

They seem to be on an upswing. I sent them both back to school today. Me? My fwoat sows.

Just put me back together when the day is over.

2009-09-14T20:20:00.002-05:00

Hi. My children nearly destroyed me today. First my head, then my heart.

Head
We didn't even make it home from the bus stop before Natalie broke down crying that she needed to be carried. Then they started fighting. First Ella threw a fit that she wanted to play chutes & ladders, and Natalie wouldn't play with her. Their job after school today was to clean the kitchen floor. They cried over who got to use the broom vac. Crying. Crying. More crying.

Heart
Natalie has been going through an unpleasant phase. She's been thinking of all kinds of horrible things. Last week she said, "Mama, you know what would be bad? What if I got hit by a car." Tonight she was getting her jammies on, and she said, "Mama, I just thought of something bad..." and she started bawling. "I thought of what if there was a fire, and I didn't hear the fire alarm, and my leg caught on fire, and the doctor had to cut it off..." WHAT?? Where does that even come from? She was beside herself. Completely scared that this was really going to happen.

I want to promise her that nothing will ever happen to her. That she will always be safe. She will never be hurt. But we're in the world. Where bad things can happen. So I can't do that. We have a fire safety talk, and we talk about how it's not very likely that we will even have a fire at all. And then her sister tells her that when she starts thinking of bad things, she just tries to think of something fun until she forgets about it, and then my older-than-her-years six-year-old starts engaging Natalie in conversation. "Natalie, tell me about school today. Did you say you're getting a frog tomorrow?"

We lay in their beds, and I rub Natalie's back and they tell each other about their days and who their friends are, and Ella keeps asking Natalie questions to keep her mind off of fires, and I forget all about the part where they fought for the title of biggest fit thrower.

Possibly the most boring post ever

2009-09-11T14:44:00.003-05:00

We're now two weeks into the school year here, and the girls are loving it. It's such a relief! I assumed after the first year of preschool that Natalie just didn't like school. I figured she was a such a homebody, she just didn't want to go. For whatever reason, she just loves it this year (all two weeks of it - certainly it could change). She's got stories to tell and songs to sing.

How is it that my time sans kids is on hyperspeed? Yesterday it was as if five minutes passed between getting them loaded on the bus and getting Natalie back home again. Today I got an oil change, ran to two stores, and hustled home because I had to beat Natalie's bus. I think part of my problem is that I don't feel awake before 9. I think I'm having a tougher time adjusting to the school schedule than the girls are.

Have I mentioned our house is still for sale? Yeah. It is.

I survived the fantasy football weekend. I ended up playing auctioneer again. But then I went to Caribou, and felt pretty good about life again. And I broke 100 in my annual bowling trip. Sunday Captain America and I flitted from restaurant to restaurant, at one point literally walking out of Applebee's where we met a friend and into Big Bowl to meet his parents with the girls. I was full til around Tuesday.

I'd write more, but I already feel badly for making you read what you have. Poor things.

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL???

2009-09-04T10:29:00.003-05:00

Yeah. Me neither.

But Captain America is. Boy howdy.

This Labor Day weekend marks the 14th year of his fantasy football league. I don't know if you can understand how serious this league is, but I'll try to help out.

Their league was created in college, and this is Captain America's 3 year with them. It's been a part of our entire marriage. Every Labor Day weekend, every year, including the year it was on our honeymoon (in Captain America's defense, I was also in the league that year. And only that year). They started drafting on someone's living room floor with notebooks and magazines. Let me give you the rundown of a fantasy football weekend now.

Friday
People start arriving in the Twin Cities. Some drive, some fly. They come from as close as down the street, and as far as San Diego and Virginia. We start gathering & catching up at the hotel, where they have rented a conference room. A few people stay at the hotel (including us), some live reasonably close by. We may go out to dinner, depending on schedules. League members may make a traditional late night trip to Perkins to talk about how they think the auction will go.

Saturday
Owners start wandering in and catching up. Instead of notebooks, there are a lot of laptops. The auction starts midmorning. There may be a speech from last year's winner, and he (or she, although they're back to all guys this year) will be presented with his winnings. Which is a glass mug with the team name and year engraved. No cash. Just the mug, and the honor of tapping the keg. The keg of 1919 rootbeer -- a tradition from their first years of play. They're all about tradition.

Then team owners will go around the room with a life update. Perhaps pictures of the kids, if there are some. Any rule changes will be discussed. Keepers declared. Announcements made. And then it begins. You have 100 pretend dollars. Players are tossed out (Eli Manning for $15, etc), people bid back and forth, and you have to fill your roster with the $100. So at all times, you're paying attention to the positions you need, the amount of money you have left, and your highest bid potential (at all times you can only bid what you have left, minus $1 for every other position you still need to fill. I think.) Owners have a call-out spot order, and they take turns calling out players for bidding. It's a little bit more of a challenge than a draft, but it seems like everyone has a shot, not just the person with the #1 draft pick. There is an auctioneer, and usually one more extra person keeping track of everyone's numbers.

Break for lunch. Usually ordering pizza.
More auctioning.

When the auction is FINALLY over, they all sit around and talk about how awful their teams are. How badly it went. How they CAN'T BELIEVE FAVRE WENT FOR $50 or whatever. What was he thinking? Then we all go bowling. And then out to dinner. And then back to the conference room to play cards or something into the wee hours.

Sunday
Those of us who are still around sometimes catch brunch. Then we say our goodbyes and head home. If I'm lucky I squeeze in a little shopping.

Why do I know so much? You're looking at the auctioneer. Well. Not actually LOOKING. And I'm not always the auctioneer if I can help it. But sometimes there's a slice of cheesecake in it for me. Otherwise I'm out shopping with the other spouses/significant others.

Can I tell you something sad? Do you promise not to tell Captain America? You know how I mentioned that we went to the draft on our honeymoon? That means every single year I'm there for my anniversary. Or close to it. Even our 10th, last year was on the Friday of auction weekend. Well this year with Labor Day so late, our anniversary was the weekend before. Ok. Shhhh...but it almost didn't even seem like our anniversary. Not a word, people (Jersey? That means you.)!

*edit * Stellar proofer, Jersey, HAS commented to say I was wrong on how many years. It's the 15th year, and Captain America's 14th. Thanks for reading, and we'll miss you this year.

Third Day of School, Third Day of School!

2009-09-03T12:58:00.002-05:00

Yeah, that doesn't have the same ring at all.

But it IS the third day of school. Natalie's still having a great time. She loves her bus ride home. She's telling me a lot more of what she's been doing and about her classmates. Apparently one boy is "allewgic" to milk. So he has orange juice at snack. FYI. She even sang me a song they've been doing.

Can I just say, Natalie cracks me up? I mean, both my girls do. But Natalie's stuff always comes out of nowhere. Yesterday we're waiting for Ella's bus. For half an hour. We went 10 minutes early, and it was 20 minutes late. After about 20 minutes Natalie looks at me and says, "Mama? This is lame." And it was.

Ella seems to be doing well too. Today was her first day to ride the bus to school in the morning, and, yeah, I'm THAT mom. When I dropped Natalie off later I checked to see Ella, to make sure she made it ok. She was waiting outside with all the kids, right by her new BFF Torii. Torry. Torrie. Tori. I don't know. T sits across from her in their group. Anyway, she was cold. I don't know how I'm supposed to dress her when it's in the 50s when she gets on the bus, and 77 when she gets off.

In any case, Ella's enjoying first grade. She's been catching up with the pastor's daughter at recess to play, although they're not in the same class, and I love that she's making friends. (Did I mention I think we've found a church?)

Me? Oh the sweet silence...

Although today the welcome lady came. It's not a Welcome Wagon anymore. It's a Welcome Celebration or something. ANYWAY. Girlfriend brought me bags of coupons and gift cards. So count me in! She has moved 17 times in 22 years. SEVENTEEN. Army family - good guess.

Shout out to Patty, who is having a Peaceful Fall...what's that like? That's alright. I'm determined to find something to love about every age & stage. And I know by the time my fall is quiet and peaceful, I'll have earned it. And I bet I'll miss these little birds very much.