The one where the cat tries to kill us

That title is special, for some people. But I'm too embarrassed to say why.

I was just visiting the Bloggess, where I nearly peed my pants. Had to turn away quickly. Anyhoo. She was talking about how her cat would try and kill her, and I felt compelled to share.

Our cat might be out to get us. Unless you're in the market for a cat. Then she's a lovely, sweet thing. Such a great cat.

Greta has her own blanket. It's hers because she stole it. It used to be on our couch, and then she removed it from the couch. In her teeth. It's a regular couch throw, so it's rather large. She drags it about the house, and then meows hysterically at it. I remember when she was a tiny kitten, she used to steal socks and carry them around the house. Maybe she's angry we robbed her of motherhood.

Anyway, Greta has this blanket. She tends to leave it on the stairs to the basement. Coincidence? You be the judge. Captain America (or my husband, as you may know him, but I'm trying to be a hip blogger whose husband has a catchy name) has tripped on the stairs exactly once. He was carrying a basket of laundry, because he's awesome. He fell down the stairs. Luckily it was only a few, and Ella was here to rescue him with a bandaid. (In case you're missing the connection, he tripped on Greta's blanket.)

So on top of that, she has a tendency to run right in front of your feet when you walk. And occasionally, I step on the first stair to the basement, only to step on a cat. She is trying to take us down.

At night when Captain America gets out his laptop (to work on The Project), Greta lays on his legs. Like the laptop isn't enough. He gets a cat. She's trying to sweat him out.

Whenever I wake up in the middle of the night, Greta is laying on top of my feet. Hopefully she sticks with my feet (it's not always bad, if I'm cold). If she ever lays on my face, she's outta here. That's one of the things that got her co-conspirator, Oscar, kicked out of this place. That and the poop streaks. But I think that's probably for another day.