I have been to the Willow, and it was good

Last week I had the opportunity to go to a worship conference at Willow Creek Church by Chicago, with some people from our church's worship team. It was really incredible. First of all, to be on the campus of a mega-church like that was impressive -- it's a gorgeous building. The worship was of course pretty impressive as well. I mean, when the David Crowder Band shows up to lead worship, it's got to be good, right? And being with like-minded people in the numbers of over 5,000 in worship is even more amazing. Not only were these my brothers & sisters in Christ, they were fellow "artists." Although, I confess, I have never considered myself an artist.

But what blew me out of the water and shook up the faith I've known my whole life, were two speakers: Dan Kimball and Donald Miller. Dan Kimball is the author of "They Love Jesus but Hate the Church." What an eye-opening experience it was to hear him talk, and see videos of college students being asked what they thought of Jesus. Every one had this serene & loving impression of him. Then they were asked about Christians. Judgmental, aggressive, hypocrites -- all negative.

Then there was Donald Miller. Honestly, I'd never heard of him before. He was hilarious and so real. But his knowledge of the Bible and the history of Christianity leads him to really astounding observations. He's written several books, and I ran out and bought "Blue Like Jazz" immediately. I mean immediately, it was available in the hallway. When I got a chance to have lunch with Andria (hadn't seen her in months, SO good to catch up), her only comment on that book was "That rocked my world." Um, ok, I thought. On the drive home, I soaked in as much as the daylight would allow, and then I finished it the next day. I'm half-way through the next book now. What makes him intriguing to me is that I don't know where he's going with it. So many times when you hear someone speak, you've got a clear view of where it's headed. And much of the time for me, I feel like if I can see where it's going, then I don't need you to tell me. I had no clue where he was going, but I really wanted to know. In reading "Blue Like Jazz", I laughed out loud (much to my embarrassment), but so many times I also wanted to say out loud, "Exactly!" And, yes, it rocked my world.

It really made me think about how I live my faith and show it to the world. Because when I ask myself why I became a Christian, what really drew me in, it certainly wasn't someone telling me that I was wrong. Or that I needed to repent. Or that they were right. I had met people who had the peace of Christ, and I wanted it for myself. When I made that decision, I wanted to make changes in my life. What makes so much sense to me, is the way they talked about it as a relational faith. It's all about the personal relationship with Christ, not rules & regulations. The closer I get in my relationship with Him, the more I want to follow Him and do what God would have me do. But it can't be broken down into bullet points & lists.

This has also led me to feel differently about the Bible. It's always been hard for me to read because I've always thought of it as something I'm supposed to be doing. It's the book with the rules. But it's not. It's a story. It's a letter from God, to me. There are lessons I will learn to be sure, but it's really a story. Each one of us will learn something different, because each of us needs to learn different things. And how incredibly amazing is it that the story has been crafted so that it can personally speak to each of us and meet us where we are?

I have been refreshed, recharged, renewed and challenged. I highly recommend "Blue Like Jazz" and the books that follow. And if you want to try him out for free, subscribe to his podcasts. Just search for Donald Miller. Or try Imago Dei, which is the church he goes to. There's a podcast from 12/31/06 that's him talking about our stories, which is much like one of the talks he did at Willow.

By request

My dear friend Amy says it's time for a new post, and I suppose she's right. Not sure what's new. We're enjoying more outside time, despite our allergies. Thank you, Jesus, for Claritin. Yesterday was Ella's last day of preschool, which I can hardly believe. Tomorrow we will have a program and picnic at the school. This girl LOVES school, and I'm afraid we're in for a long summer. We have many conversations E: "Where are we going today?" M: "We get to stay home today, and you can play with your toys." E:"But where are we going?" M:"Nowhere today." E:"When Daddy comes home from work, will he stay with Natalie so we can go somewhere?" I'm going to have to learn to be very proactive with activities for these two, so I can continue to get some work done during the days. (Hint, hint: suggestions welcome!)

In other news, our small group is just completing a study on James. I've really enjoyed it, even though James is at times painfully convicting. I want to focus less on the day-to-day blah, blah blah of all the "stuff" I have to do in order to blah blah blah, and concentrate more on spending everyday and every activity with God. I think life can be much simpler than I make it. I want to raise my children with God's love, do my work with God's joy, and generally live my life in God's peace. Doing things for yourself with your own energy gets tiring. One passage in particular that smacked me in the face this morning was James 5:13-15 from The Message:
13-15Are you hurting? Pray. Do you feel great? Sing. Are you sick? Call the church leaders together to pray and anoint you with oil in the name of the Master. Believing-prayer will heal you, and Jesus will put you on your feet. And if you've sinned, you'll be forgiven—healed inside and out.

Who put a quarter in this one???

I'm not sure who did it, but someone has put a quarter in Natalie. She has spent the last couple of days copy-catting everything Ella does & says. Sometimes she copies what I say. This morning Ella is at preschool. I sat down to eat a little oatmeal, and Natalie runs up, "What are you having? (which comes out more like ah-ving)" I told her, and she said, "I have cereal...in bowl...with milk on it...and spoon??!!" Then she came back for more "I have more cereal? Could I? Could I, could I?" Such a chatterbug for a little girl who just turned 2. My favorite with her as of late, has been her rendition of "Oh how I love Jesus." It just goes on and on, never getting to the "Because He first loved me" part.

Which brings me to the tear-jerking mommy moment of the week. We had some storms roll through on Saturday night, and as I was putting Ella to bed, she was starting to traumatize over it. Then she said, "Mom, do you know who can keep us safe from the storm? God can." Regaining my composure I told her she was absolutely right. So I told her when I was a little girl, I prayed to ask Jesus into my heart so he would always be with me. She kind of ignored me, but then said God was in her heart to keep her safe. Well the first thing she did Sunday morning was tell the woman at Sunday School, "And it was storming last night, but I don't have to be scared because God is in my heart to keep me safe." So sweet, and such a good reminder for me of what it means to have faith like a child.

A Mommylogue

The other night we were at our Bible study, currently studying the book of James, and we were talking about the way we often get so wrapped up in things, but when you stop to pray, God just takes care of it. It was then that this picture came to mind like a tap on the shoulder:
So often I will ask my girls to do something. They will hem and haw and fuss their way through it. "But....but...but..." By the time they are done, they could have done the task 20 times. I will often say to them, "if you would stop fussing, you could be done by now."
How often am I that child? God has asked me to do something, or tried to tell me something, and I fuss my way through? Go through unnecessary heartache? If I would just be still and listen, and then be obedient, I could be done by now.

5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. 6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. 7 Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.
James 1:5-8, New Living Translation

Updates: Babies & Sickies

Babies:
Luke Michael joined the cousins on Saturday, March 17. Molly was induced on Friday morning, and he finally decided to get out at 3:30 am on Saturday. 7 lbs. 9 oz (same as Ella and Bria). Everyone's doing well, and Big Brother Sam is pretty interested in his little brother.

Families are expanding all around us. I have 2 new nephews and a niece (my first) since the beginning of the year. Everyone seems to be doing well, and it's wonderful to get a baby fix.

Sickies:
Natalie is mostly recovered from the flu, except for lingering diaper issues. Ella came down with it Wednesday night at 10:30, and was up about every half hour til 8:30 am. LONG night. She was well recovered by Friday. I wasn't. On Friday I was so exhausted from staying up all night Wednesday, that I stayed in bed most of the day. The cute part was Friday night when I put Ella to bed. "Mommy, if I need to throw up, then I'll call you and tell you I need a bucket. But I won't throw up, because I feel better." "Oh, Ella, I'm so glad you feel better." "I hope you feel better soon too, Mommy." Definitely growing up too fast, but so sweet. I'll tuck that little memory someplace safe to bring out when she's being less than lovely.

More nurse practitioner-ing

Today it's a stomach bug for the worst patient. Poor Natalie. She's not yet 2, and completely panicked by the throwing up. Not so much grasping Mommy's urgent need for bucket usage. In a way, I wonder if she thinks the bucket makes her throw up. In any case, the poor girl has got issues at both ends -- diaper rash, here we come. She's fallen asleep now in a chair I have covered with towels and sheets.

It's funny how your little baby getting sick brings out the different sides in you. It's frustrating. I feel awful for her. I feel awful for me. I feel awful for Ella, who doesn't seem to like all the attention Natalie's getting. I'm amazed at what I'm capable of in the heat of the moment. I'm usually completely sickened by just the sound of it, but when it's my baby, it's like I don't even see it. Whatever I can do to make her feel better. I somehow become like a multi-tasker 3000 robot. Clean up, wash up, sanitize, and on to the next.

Any minute now I'm sure she'll wake up and we'll start it all over (or Ella will get going as well), but I am very grateful for this little break. Grateful for a little rest for her poor little body. And grateful that with God's help I am truly able to do things I never thought I could do (even when it involves throw up).

I hope your day is going better than ours, but I know in only a matter of time I'll be thankful for our health again.

Nurse Practitioner Sarah

My sister always jokes that her husband is a doctor and I am a nurse practitioner, because we have a knack for remembering medical information, and then correctly diagnose ailments. We have a running joke that one day he and I will open an office, and because we have no degrees in that field we'll just accept bags of corn and a couple of chickens for our opinions.

I earned a few more NP points on Thursday, when I was in the delivery room with Amanda when she gave birth to Bria Marie. We had sort of talked about me being there before, but I think we all thought there would be a lot more time to try it out. She called in labor at 6:30 Thursday morning. My mom ended up staying home from a nun event (that's another long story) so she could take the girls, and I got to the hospital at 8:20. I walked into a room full of nurses and equipment, and after being cleared by Amanda I hopped right in next to Connor. Amanda had already started pushing. She had arrived at the hospital at 7, and was dilated to 7. Within minutes she was at 10. I ended up in charge of her oxygen mask -- on between contractions and pushing.

Originally, I had thought I'd just hang out with her during the long hours of labor, and I'd probably end up leaving for the actual pushing. I figured I could stand up by her head and miss it all. Of course, the truth is that her head was not as far away from the action as I'd somehow imagined.

So there I was. Cheering her on. Holding her mask. Bria was born at 9:09 after a completely natural childbirth (too fast for anything else). Then I was able to hold her hand while the doctor patched her back up, and Connor got all of the pictures of Bria getting weighed and measured.

I'm in no way signing up for med school, but I am very glad I was there. My proudest moment later, was when Amanda said she had noticed that all of the sudden her oxygen mask was going on and coming off at exactly the right times, and she had looked up and seen that it was my hand holding it. I'm surprised by a lot of things. Really surprised I managed to stomach that whole scene. Even more surprised that I've done that twice, and still didn't really know that's what it looks like. And then just surprised that I've done that twice at all. Childbirth sure isn't pretty, but it is amazing. How you can witness something like that and not believe in God, I have no idea. What an intricate process He's designed. There's a reason it's often referred to as the miracle of birth. I'm so thankful that He gave me an opportunity to get that new perspective.

Bria Marie
7 lbs. 9 oz.
9:09 am, March 8
19" long

Time to pitch in, marketing team!

Alright loyal readers (all 3 of you)! I need a campaign slogan for a Wisconsin health system that is implementing a smoke-free campus in November. The sample slogan is "We're clearing the air." They'd like something like "Smoke Free for Everyone's Health," only more catchy. I'm so swamped today that fresh, creative ideas are really nowhere to be found.

It stopped snowing!

Well, it stopped snowing in time for us to go home. Sunday it started melting, and now it's freezing cold again. This of course turns everything into an ice rink. Gotta love a MN spring.

I had a wonderful time at Brennan's conference. It was good to get out of the sweatsuit for a few days, and wear shoes instead of slippers. I got to see several of my customers, which was good. We also got to eat dinner at Rossi's steakhouse. Wow. Wonderful food. But as another wife said later, "How would you ever eat there without an expense account?" It's one of those places where they brought us a platter with all the cuts of meat on it, so we could choose. One of those places where the $35 steak doesn't come with any sides or soup or salad. It was definitely a fun experience though! I had the salmon, which was wonderful. Our dessert was a giant strawberry shortcake, which the 10 of us were only able to eat half of.

I picked up some fun freebies at the trade show -- a requirement from GrandmaCare. It was a good, relaxing time, and I feel like I came home refreshed to be mommy again.

Welcome to the world: Joseph Daniel Martinson, born March 5 at 10:47 pm. 8 lbs., 10 oz. later, mom & baby are reportedly doing well.

Arriving Friday (hopefully): Baby Girl (we think) Murphy. Amanda is set to go in at 6 am for inducing. Arriving the following Friday: Luke Michael (I think) McFarland. Molly is set to be induced March 16. It's baby mania.

It's snowing again...but I don't care!!

Everything is continuously covered in a blanket of white -- but I don't care! I'm at Brennan's work conference at the Hilton Minneapolis. That's right. Downtown Minneapolis. Connected by skywalks. All the shopping, no driving, no parking, no coat, no SNOW!

A few thoughts on the Hilton: I would like to take this room along with everything in it, and plop it down where our bedroom is at home. I love the colors, love the carpet, LOVE the bed, the curtains, absolutely everything. And of course, love the housekeeping service.

Just a few skywalk minutes away is the Minneapolis Convention Center. They are currently having the Home & Garden show. I think I'm going to have to go check that out, not to get ideas for my own yard (my grandmother does my gardening), but just to smell some flowers and spring.

Talked to my mom an hour ago. The girls slept all night long. Furthering my theory that Natalie is just out for Daddy attention in the middle of the night.

I think I might go find Barnes & Noble.