Success! And by that, I mean today, not overall.

The watch did the trick, and both Ella and Natalie had much needed naps. I had an afternoon of quiet, so I could make a dent in my work. I took a little quiet time for myself, too!

How does she not sleep?

For Christmas I got Ella a digital Dora watch. She doesn't seem to have as much of a concept of time as of accessories, but I can understand that. Long ago, Ella gave up naps. I have finally decided to take rest time back. Mommy needs it. So I give her the watch, and a post-it with the time on it that she has to wait until before she can get out of bed. I've thought of setting timers, but then won't the timer wake her up if she falls asleep? So for 2 days, we've done the watch. I gave her 30 minutes yesterday that she had to stay in bed quietly. Today was 45. She came out a minute ago whispering, "Mom! It's 1:45." So I went in to check her watch, 1:25. I tell her she still has 20 minutes to lay down. So Ella lays down, staring at her watch. How can she possibly stare at a watch for 20 minutes and not fall asleep (which is my true goal)? Time will tell....

Grace each day

I had a co-worker a couple of years ago, who was a truly amazing woman. She was in her 40s, and was a raging diabetic. She had divorced within the past couple of years moved back to her hometown, and had ended up having to go back to work, so we hired her for our front office at the newspaper. I have never met anyone more full of joy and peace than Jean. Even with her health problems, she still seemed to find immense joy in every day -- every day was truly a gift. Just having her around calmed my spirit. She just never got upset. Even when an angry customer would call because their bill had a mistake, she'd calmly handle it. Afterwards she'd come tell me about it, giggle, say she'd take care of it, and go on with her day. After she'd been with us a few months, she called me at home on a Friday to say she wouldn't be in -- she was too sick. She said she just didn't feel right. I told her to take care of herself, we'd see her Monday. By Sunday she was in a coma, and on that Tuesday, she passed away. I still miss her. At her funeral her sister said that Jean used Max Lucado's "Grace for the Moment" devotional, and she read the beginning prayer every day. I wanted to share it with you (all 2 of you):
I Choose Love...
No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.
I Choose Joy...
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical... the tool of a lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.
I Choose Peace...
I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.
I Choose Patience...
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.
I Choose Kindness...
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.
I Choose Goodness...
I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.
I Choose Faithfulness...
Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.
I Choose Gentleness...
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.
I Choose Self-Control...
I am a spiritual being... After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.

I love the internet and I'm raising a bilingual child

I love, love the internet, and I'll tell you why. I have spent January re-establishing contact with long-lost friends. Between myspace, email and the blog, I am having a fabulous time. Just this morning I got a comment from my dear sweet Shawna on my blog...it's been just ages, and I was so thrilled to see pictures of the little munchkins! My good friend Nita keeps me posted on her NC adventure, which I love reading about. I love catching up with what Amy has been doing.

I adore talking on the phone, but I have reached a phase of life where I don't want to call anyone. As soon as I reach for the phone I start thinking "Is she busy? Changing a diaper maybe? Is it naptime?" I don't know anyone's schedules, and it just makes me so hesitant to call. Honestly, I don't know what my problem is, since I love when people call me. So I love being able to keep up with people. I love feeling like I'm still in the middle of people's lives. I'm learning to seek out joy, and right now, the internet is one of the gifts I am thanking God for.

On another note, I am raising a bilingual child. Natalie has a deep love for all things Dora and Diego. She's almost 22 months. The other day at the doctor's office she wanted to climb on the table, and looked at me, "Suben?" Now, she's not getting the tense right, but she isn't in English either. Then yesterday morning she got in a box and said, "Push me Mommy?" I had to sadly explain to her that Mommy can't, because Mommy is now old with back injuries. So instead she got out, and started pushing it herself, "empujen, empujen." I haven't had a Spanish class since 1995, so I know I'm probably not spelling it right. But still. Spanish for push. All I can say is, Noggin really is like preschool on tv.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS...

but not so much the digging out of the tree. Our tree looks more and more sad every year. If I had all the money in the world, I would get something prelit. I enjoy putting up ornaments, but the branch fluffing and bending and light stringing leaves something to be desired. You know, if I had all the money in the world, I would probably also hire a decorator. And a maid.

When my husband was little, he asked his parents why people put stars and angels on top of the tree instead of baby Jesus (good question), so from then on a small baby Jesus topped their tree. When I was growing up, my sister had the angel to put on top of the tree. So when I grew up I couldn't wait to have my own tree, and my own angel. And yet, how do you trump a baby Jesus? Perhaps this year an angel with a baby Jesus directly underneath, so the angel can "announce" the baby. We'll see.

Anyway, this year I have been bitten by the FaLaLa bug, and I am so very excited to get into the Christmas season. I have downloaded MercyMe's Christmas cd from itunes, and I nearly had chills down my spine when I stumbled upon all of the Christmas decor at Target *gasp* WELL BEFORE Thanksgiving. I have nearly all the Christmas presents planned, and many purchased.

Since having kids of my own, the Nativity has become more and more of a miracle to me. I was proud to endure labor twice with no epidural, and yet Mary could bring the savior of all mankind into the world in a stable. I love Sara Groves song "Child of Love", imagining what it was like for Mary to hold her precious child who she knew would one day save the world. Mary must have been a truly, truly amazing woman, with incredible faith.

So Jesus is coming, and I can't wait. The spirit of the season is alive and well. Sparkles and music and cinnamon, and the best gift of all.

A note to men...and some women too

First, I would like to say that I in no way want to discourage polite behavior. I really do appreciate the sentiment that is involved here, but there's just got to be another way. I am 28 years old. I'm not ready for "ma'am."

Yesterday I was in line at Cost Plus World Market, and there were two high school or maybe college guys being obnoxious all over the store. They ended up behind me in line. When another checkout opened, one of them said to me, "Ma'am? You were here first, why don't you go?" Pleasant surprise? Yes. And yet, I hardly heard what he suggested because I was so hung up on the "ma'am" part.

What happened to "miss?" When did I stop being "miss?" Couldn't I still be? I mean, when in doubt, I would think you should go with "miss." Or, I am also in favor of going back to using "madam." I'd prefer that over "ma'am." I really am very grateful for the respectful tone, which is all too lacking in our society in general. But "ma'am?" Since when?

Is this because I'm almost 30?

10 years later

Oh my goodness, I did it -- I went to my reunion! It really wasn't bad. It was nice to see people and hear what everyone is up to these days. It was good to go back in time and see how much I've changed, and to see the same of a lot of other people. And it was really nice to see that the basic friendships are still there.

The reunion and a worship team devotion on Sunday really got me thinking about something though. I think lately I've been guilty of expecting my relationship with God to just happen. As if just because I want it to, it will magically take place. Like God is going to do all the work for me. But I don't expect any other relationship to be good without some work on my part. So this week I feel inspired & challenged to put a little effort in! I want to make a daily choice to spend time in God's word and in prayer. I also want to focus more on Jesus in an eternal way, and not get so wrapped up in the trivial day to day things.

I had a really amazing experience on Sunday when someone I didn't know told me that a song I'd sung a few weeks ago had really helped him through some things. It was "You are the Sun" by Sara Groves, which I had wanted to sing for a year, because it meant so much to me as well. I love the image of God being the Sun, and me being the moon -- that I can't shine on my own, but I only shine when I turn my face to Him. I just felt so incredibly blessed to have been allowed to play a tiny role in God's work, and I was thrilled to know that the song meant so much to someone else as well. Another confirmation that it's not about me, it's about letting God do what he'd like to do through me.

So far under the weather, we can't even see weather anymore.

About two weeks ago, Ella got this fine, sand-papery rash on her left side. So after a couple of days I took her in, after all, she was starting preschool and couldn't go with an undiagnosed rash. Ears looked good, throat looked good, but they decided to do a strep test anyway. Sure enough, she had strep. Apparently some kids get a rash with it. So Ella missed her first day of school. And of course we figured Natalie had it too, because she actually had more symptoms than Ella.

About a week into it, Ella's rash exploded and spread. She looked awful -- it looked like hives I think. So back to the doctor we went. It turns out the strep is infecting her blood vessels, and it surfaces to look like hives. I guess a few kids will get strep like that. There's really nothing you can do -- she's already on antibiotics. Benedryl doesn't work because there's no histamine involved.

The next day (Sunday) I woke up knowing I had strep as well. Swollen sore throat, swollen lymph nodes, fever of 101.3. I've had the 10 antibiotic pills before, and felt yucky the whole time I was on it. So the last time I did it, I vowed to get the shot next time. I wanted to be un-contagious as soon as I could, since the girls were about to come off of their antibiotics. So I got to go into the ER. Brennan had to run sound at church, my mom came over to watch the girls, and I headed in. I sat for quite a while, which was sort of nice in a way. I was the only one in the ER so it was incredibly quiet. The nurse took my stats, and my pulse was high. When I told her I could feel that it was, and it's not normal, she put me on a heart rate monitor. At one point, even after sitting for half an hour, my pulse reached 134 (which I'm told is rather high if you're at rest). So I got hooked up to the EKG monitor. The nurse told me a higher pulse was a sign that my body was trying to fight an infection (interesting). Eventually the doctor made it back to say that I could have a shot. Today I feel much better.

Natalie has gotten such a diaper rash that she screams "Ouchie" and cries if you even suggest changing her diaper. It was pretty bad yesterday, but seems to be a little better today.

In the meantime, Ella's splotches started spreading to her face. This morning she woke up to an eye that's half swollen shut. The poor child looks like some kind of text book photo of an awful, awful disease. She seems to feel pretty good, except a little itchy at times. She's not contagious. It should go away within about a week. But for now, she just looks terrible. Ella is missing her second of 3 days of preschool, and today was picture day. Everytime she catches me smiling at her she says "I will be okay, Mom." She's such a pro at the doctor's office now that she marches right in, heads for the scale, sits down to take her shoes off, and when we're done with the appointment she says to the doctor, "I'd like a sucker now."

Somehow Brennan seems to be making it through unscathed. But we're all tired and hopefully on the mend, so if you think of it, say a little prayer for us!

I cannot possibly have a preschooler

Tomorrow is Ella's preschool picnic. We are to bring a potluck item beginning with the letter E. Such as "Ella's Excellent Enchiladas." Very few potluck-able items seem to start with the letter E. I'm sure this is only the beginning of my preschooler mom challenges.

In any case, she starts school on Monday, and I don't see how this is possible. Since when could I have a child ready for preschool? I'm sure I will sit in the parking lot and cry. She's going to have a great time, but oh my goodness. Perhaps I will take the new laptop and set up office in the school parking lot. I'm sure stranger things have happened.

I think the scariest part, is this is the first time when our parenting can really be seen by someone else. Poor thing -- all of the sudden it's unacceptable to run out of the bathroom with your underwear and pants in hand. Sure, she's been growing up, but now it's going to go into hyperdrive.

Your prayers are appreciated. Oh, and for Ella too.

It's Monday

I had a great time at Brennan's sales conference. I met some of my graphic design customers, and somehow got more.

I know some of you (well, of the 3 of you who check this), may be wondering what I thought of book 2, "She's Out of Control." I was able to sit down in one afternoon and read the whole book. No children climbing on me. No one needed a snack Well, except for me, but I was prepared with Ghirardelli incredibly dark chocolate. It was also fantastic, and I have to keep this short so the girls and I can run to the library and get the 3rd book, "With This Ring, I'm confused."

The girls had a great time at Grandma's house, so all parties are happy. Except Brennan, who had to get on a plane and head to Chicago without even seeing the girls.

And that's all I have to say about that. Today anyway.