Fortunate Events: In which I get a sunburn and a husband

I've been brainstorming on how to get myself back into the swing of blogging, because truthfully, I've missed it.

I thought of a whole lot of nothing, but for the last few weeks I've been thinking about different chains of events. Things that could have gone a million different ways, and only after did I see how God had orchestrated everything just so.

With that, I give you the first in a Series of Fortunate Events. (Not to be confused with another series.)

Fortunate Event #1

When I was growing up, I went on a bike camp. It was a compromise with my dad to avoid the canoe camp fate my sister had already been through. It was a fundraiser-turned-camp. We biked 150 miles or something over...I don't know...some days? It's a little hazy, lo these many years later. We collected pledges and raised money for Operation Classroom, which helped build and support schools in Sierra Leone. I think I was maybe in 8th grade. Biking was not my favorite, but it beat the idea of canoeing in the Boundary Waters. Although, I DID have to have my dad along as one of the camp counselor/chaperones. So I'm not sure between my sister and I who won/lost. All I know is, I got the worst sunburn ever on the tops of my legs because it didn't occur to me how much they'd be in the sun. And I'm a burner.

Hold that thought.

Flash forward five or so years.

Every year my family went to the North Shore on Lake Superior over Labor Day weekend. We usually stayed at a cabin at Cascade Lodge. Cascade is the epitome of family vacation to me. Eating pancakes at the restaurant. Hiking in the woods and eating wild raspberries along the way. Waterfalls. Rock throwing. If I think really hard, I can smell the delicious North Shore smells right now.

The weekend before I started my senior year of high school, we went to Cascade as usual. We were eating in the restaurant, and our waiter looked really familiar to me. He looked familiar to Dad, too. I knew his name was Paul, but I didn't know how I knew that. His nametag confirmed it. Hmmm...

After a few minutes it came to me: Paul had been on the bike camp! We all talked and caught up, and sure enough, he remembered all the biking. Paul was currently a student at University of Minnesota-Duluth, which happened to be where I was planning to go the following year. We exchanged information, and I decided in a year, I'd give him a call.

One year later...

I did call Paul. The first day I was at UMD. He was one of the only people I knew there. He invited me to go to a friend's house for movies. When we got there, I sat in a room full of strangers. 18 years old. First days of college. Somebody next to me offered me some Pepsi...you might know him as Captain America...

But that's for another Series of Fortunate Events.

Random Saturday!

Are your Saturdays filled with random things like mine? All the things you didn't have time for this week? Here are a few random thoughts I'm having:

• My baby is 8 months old today. EIGHT. She's losing that tiny baby look, and getting the look of a pre-toddler. And the mobility - YIKES.
• Ella was taken down by a nasty, nasty stomach flu this week. Poor thing. For two days after she just laid still and sipped water.
• It was pointed out to me on my birthday that this is my crucifixion year. As in, I'm 33, and that's how old Christ was when he was crucified. And for extra oomph? My next birthday will be on Easter.
• I'm hoping to get a baby gate this weekend, because I'm growing weary of all the picking up the baby and moving her back to the middle of the room I'm in.
• I would like to reduce the amount of "toys" in the playroom by half. It's toy overload. I see a trip to Goodwill in my weekend.
• Do you overbook an open Saturday? I do. I wake up and the day is full of possibilities. I will go garage saling. Maybe I should run to the yummy bakery? I'm going to clean out the playroom, and take a load to Goodwill. I'm going to get some groceries. Ella needs a gift for a party tomorrow. I'm going to talk to the cell phone people about my plan. Hey! We should go to a movie today! I'm going to catch up on work. I'm going to make the baby a whole lotta baby food. We should play Bananagrams! Need to do 84 loads of laundry. And clean the bathroom. And vacuum. {In reality, I'll hopefully get through 3 loads of laundry and get the gift for Ella's party. I'll probably get to groceries, since there's really no food until I do.}

Finally, I read some books. Please enjoy these minimalist reviews:

Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls - It was good. Very easy to read in small spurts, which is often all I have. I'll look for her other books.

Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay - If you don't like deep sadness, do NOT read this book. Holocaust. Child death. Furthermore, I feel like the ending should have been longer or shorter. I had too much info, or not enough. It was powerful, but very sad.

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen - It was good. Liked the style. It made me want to visit the circus museum in Baraboo, WI, since it's almost in my 'hood.

Happy Saturday!

In which we take a road trip.

{side note: I really admire the writings of A.A. Milne. I love that the chapters are named "In which..." And clearly, I love the Capitalizing Important Words.}

We did it! We took a trip! With a baby! Last week we hopped in Ye Olde Minivan, and headed for parts unknown. Only they were known. We spent a couple of days in Kansas City, and a couple in Omaha. Because when you hear "spring break" -- who DOESN'T head to Omaha? Are ya with me?

No?

Well it was fun. The girls had a blast. The highlight of Kansas City was Kaleidoscope. It's next to the Hallmark museum. They basically take scraps from Hallmark, and utensils from Crayola, and you let your kids go to town crafting. In other words: ELLA AND NATALIE HEAVEN. And it's free. FREE! It was an hour of non-stop crafting excitement. They thought it was the best thing ever. (While they were busy filling their take home bags with Important Artwork, Captain America wrote me a little book in kid style. I love him.)

The next day we headed to Omaha. Home of The Zoo. Have you seen this zoo? Have you been? OH MY WORD. Over 6 hours we were there. SIX. Six! We didn't sit through any demonstrations or shows. We didn't go to the imax. We just wandered around looking at animals. For 6 hours. Every animal but an elephant. They were having their habitat cleaned or landscaped or remodeled, so they were off out of view for a bit. But every other animal I can think of was there. Some of them were in the world's largest geodesic dome, which houses the world's largest indoor desert. Some of them were in the world's largest indoor rainforest.

Now, aside from having beaucoup animals, let me tell you the other fantastic features of this zoo. It was chilly the day we were there. I thought we might freeze our petuties off. But of our 6 hours of animal watching, most of it was indoors. Some of those animals would have been outside if it was nicer, but we were also able to see them inside. Also? There was only one place we couldn't take the stroller - the very small Butterfly house. Everywhere else we were able to keep a kid in a stroller. I remember going to Brookfield Zoo in Chicago when Natalie was a tiny baby. We were forever having to park the stroller and carry her through exhibits. Not fun.

Also? Zoey was a traveling ROCKSTAR. Out of the 14 or so hours we spent in the car, I'd bet she cried for 20 minutes. And she calmed down when her sisters sang their magic baby whisperer song. There was no hardcore screaming. She was perfectly happy just to be out and about.

All of the above made for a delightful trip for us all. I didn't even bring a computer (WHAT??). We just got to hang out together. And I think the 4 nights was a perfect trip length, because I came home in love with my children, and not quite ready to be back. That's really the way you should leave a vacation. I wasn't ready to drop them off at their teacher's houses or anything! They were all just lovely, lovely girls. We got very lucky this time around.

It probably didn't hurt that Vacationing Captain America thought Ella and Natalie needed a ONE POUND BAG of candy EACH at the bulk candy store. And I was easily bought off with Cheesecake Factory cheesecake.

Hooray for vacation!

Tweet, Tweet

I've recently rekindled my relationship with Twitter. I'd been ignoring it for the longest time. I'm sorry, Twitter. You'd think I came back because I had something to say. Judging by the fact that my tweets are things like "still working" and "I'm so full," that clearly isn't the case.

Nope. It was a snake that wooed me back. Not that I'm a fan of snakes in general. But did you see when the Bronx Zoo's Cobra went missing? When that happened, the cobra got on Twitter. @bronxzooscobra has to be the most enjoyable thing to happen to my computer in a long time.

First the snake hit the town, tweeting all the way:

"Holding very still in the snake exhibit at the Museum of Natural History. This is gonna be hilarious!"

"Getting my morning coffee at the Mudtruck. Don't even talk to me until I've had my morning coffee. Seriously, don't. I'm venomous."

"If you see a bag of peanuts inexplicably moving along the ground at Yankee Stadium today. Just ignore it. It's probably nothing."

Then the snake was found. (In real life, it never left the Reptile House - they just couldn't see it anywhere.) Now @bronxzooscobra tweets from the inside:

"Just regurgitated my iPhone. Oh, it's ssso on now. You'll never guess what's coming. #freethebronxzooscobra"

"The secret to surviving on inside is to find the biggest snake in here and take him down. That earns you respect in the yard."

"I know the zoo doesn't like it when you tap on the glass, but I don't mind it. In fact, feel free to tap really hard. With a hammer even."

I don't know what to tell you. I've never claimed to be anything but easily amused. A zoo cobra on Twitter is bringing me unimaginable joy. Maybe snakes aren't so bad. At least not the ones with iPhones.

It would make the birthday girl haaaaaaaaappy... Part II

On this day in history... I WAS BORN! Happy birthday to ME!

Here's the thing. I'm just not having quite as much success with squeezing every last ounce of birthday power as Natalie did. For some reason it seems referring to yourself as "the birthday girl" is less cute on a 33 year old. Furthermore, Natalie is less convinced of the rock solid logic of "it would make the birthday girl happy" when she's not the one saying it. How convenient of her.

But I forge ahead. I have answered my phone "Happy birthday to me" and "Happy Sarah Day." Tonight is game night at the pastor's house. We're bringing cake. Would it be wrong of me to wear a crown? Would it be more wrong to go out and purchase a crown for wearing? A crown that is combination leopard print, feathers and tiara? I might be wrong. If I have time. I also considered wearing a cocktail dress. Just because.

Do you know what DELIGHTFUL thing happened today? I mean, DELIGHTFUL. Full of DELIGHT. The very lovely Gretchen over at Second Blooming gave me a Cherry on Top award. Feast your eyes on its cuteness:

She did not even know it was my birthday. Gretchen is a Real Life Actress. And a Real Life Writer. Her in-laws would make a fantastic tv show, and I have actually told people the story of how she named her son Jude as if she is a Real Life Friend of mine. Always embarrassing to realize you've just started talking about a blog as if you met the person for coffee earlier in the day. Gretchen even takes her little cub scout camping. In the Real Woods. I guess they're LA woods - but that's still more camping than I'm interested in. Now I am to tell you 5 Things I Love About ME. Which I will happily oblige. It is, after all, my birthday:

1. I am an open book. Ask me even part of a question, and I will bore you with details you never dreamed of wanting to know.
2. I give a mean 7 & 5 yr old mani/pedi. I used to think I did a pretty good paint job on my own as well, until I started going to places that do all the FAYNCY painting with pretty details and pictures.
3. I've always really liked my hands & nails. I don't feel the need for fake. Nails. Not hands. That'd just be weird.
4. I love to sing. Which is not to say I missed my chance on American Idol. I just like to do it. I love having something that instantly makes me happy.
5. I can be funny. At least I hope that's why people sometimes laugh at me.

That was harder than I thought. And I think I gave a few copout answers.

And now....Five Bloggers I Love:

1. My sister. I don't just have to say it. I'm linking to a specific post, because I want you to read it.
2. Mr. Patrick over at Good Morning from Maine. I know him in real life. From before he even had a blog. Go read his series on how he & the Mrs. got together. It's good times.
3. Bits and Pieces. Also a Real Life Friend. We have discovered we are like scary clones of each other. Clones. Not clowns. That'd be wrong.
4. Jersey's Musings. Yet another Real Life Friend. He's always got some interesting travel/restaurant notes. Drop in and say hey - they recently found out his mother-in-law has leukemia and I'll bet he and his lovely wife would appreciate some kind thoughts & prayers.
5. Are We Still Cool? It's a question I often ask myself. I'm pretty sure the answer is no. It's completely fascinating to me to read about their adventures as they try to raise a couple cute munchkins in NYC.

And there you have it. Thanks again, Gretchen, for the extra special birthday present!

It would make the Birthday Girl haaaaaaaaappy...

Six years ago today I said to the doctor, "I don't care what day it is. Just induce me." I'd been scheduled to be induced on Thursday, March 31. But when I called into the hospital that morning to say I was coming, they said they were too busy to induce me. So I called my doctor later that day, and he said, "Well, if you're okay with an April Fool's birthday, go in tomorrow. Otherwise we can do it Monday." I apologized to my belly that I was not going to be able to wait until Monday when I had thought I would have had her by now. Tomorrow already seemed pretty far away. So on that April Fool's morning, I got hooked up to pitocin around 7:30 am and Natalie was born by 12:30 pm. Pretty fast for not even being in labor when I got to the hospital.

It was as if Captain America knew she'd be born on April Fool's all along. The moment we knew it was a girl, she was Natalie. And then he started calling her Natalie Gwynn. And I said no. I will not name my baby girl after your favorite baseball player. But he persisted. (Perhaps in response to my affinity for a dead actress?) "How's Natalie Gwynn today? Kicking a lot?" I don't know. It grew on me.

I honestly don't remember much of Natalie's babyhood. Ella was a diaper-wearing, social, busy toddler - that first year is a blur. I do remember Natalie was awesome about going to bed. I could lay her down fully awake and she'd put herself to sleep.

Today Natalie is living it up for her birthday. She is truly her mother's daughter. "Can you pack me a lunch for tomorrow? It would make the Birthday Girl haaaaaappy..." "Ella, do you know what I would like? If one day we didn't fight at all. Could we do it today? It would make the Birthday Girl haaaaaaaaaappy..." And Ella has been playing right along. She sang Happy Birthday to her right away. She got Natalie's clothes ready for her. She did everything this morning, right down to putting toothpaste on her toothbrush, putting on Natalie's rain boots and zipping her coat for her.

So Happy Birthday to my Natalie Gwynn. You are sweet, sensitive, and knowing. Funny and loving. I look forward to seeing what another year brings out of you. And may you always be as big of a birthday junkie as your mommy.

I didn't hear anything. Nope. Not me.

Funny, but it seems my girls make me the proudest when I'm not even supposed to know what happened. Last night the girls were crafting at the dining room table within earshot of me. They were talking to each other about their days. First of all, I can't get over the cuteness of them off having their own little lives all day, and hearing them talk about it to each other.

Natalie declared it the worst day ever. EVER. Apparently a couple of girls called her Nattie. OH THE HUMANITY. But I hear her. You want to be called what you want to be called. Anything else hurts your feelings. I get it. I had hair issues when I was little. For one, my hair was orange, not red. I guess she asked them to stop and call her Natalie, but they didn't. Cue Sister Bear. If you thought the Mama Bear was tough - watch out.

Ella: "Who was it?"

Natalie: "It was M & A."

Ella: "Well NOBODY teases my sister. Do you sit by them at lunch?"

Natalie: "Sometimes."

Ella: "When I see you at lunch I'll come see if they're teasing you. And if they are I'll tell them to stop. Because NOBODY teases my little sister. Or my BABY sister."

And then she was off on some tangent imagining someone teasing Zoey by calling her tiny. I don't know, I guess I've never heard anyone actually tease a baby. And definitely not for...being a baby. But whatever.

I only wish I could properly convey the attitude and tone that went with these words. Maybe I should have said something, maybe not, I don't know. I don't think it really matters. I just wanted to sit and revel in a moment where they really loved each other, and weren't yelling "STOPIT" or "DON'TTOUCHTHATIT'SMINE!"

Pardon the tissues.

Please excuse our tissues on every surface. We are all sick. Except Captain America, of course. Superheroes don't get sick. I am diagnosing it as "Spring Crud." It started with Natalie, then Ella, then Natalie again, then Ella again, then Zoey and me. There's a fever that comes and goes willy nilly. There's gunk. And apparently when you get as far into it as Ella and Natalie are, you require boxes of kleenex. And the girls have watched enough television that they request Puffs. With lotion. It has been my joy to teach Natalie about brands and logos. And things like we call them all kleenex, but sometimes they're really Puffs.

I feel like we haven't slept in weeks. Someone is always up. "My nose won't stop running." "I can't stop coughing." "The skin around my nose is very dry." "Wah." {translation: I need my nuk, and please fix my swaddle}

But, much like the grass out there, I press on. Spring is here. There may be a stumbling block of more snow, but Spring is here. And while Winter and I are not really friends, it does make me appreciate Spring and its new life and resurrection. Even when that new life gives us sniffles.

Well this is interesting...you know...for me

It's been a little hectic around these parts lately. Not like it hasn't been hectic at your house, too. I'm sure it has. How's it going? Better I hope?

Zoey is almost 6 months already. I know! Where has the time gone? She's made some developments. There's a crazy amount of rolling. And she's doing a very modified crawl. She's not strong enough for a formal crawl yet (because she's tiny and not very old), but she likes to get on her stomach, lift up her little bottom, dig her toes in and propel herself forward. Which usually means sliding on her forehead. But a girl's gotta get around, doesn't she?

Yesterday Natalie (still 5) changed Zoey's diaper. She begged me for the chance. I had to hold the little wiggler's legs still for her, but she did a great job. And she wants to help out like that more often. Natalie gets a gold star for the day. And my undying gratitude.

Last night after a series of mildly unfortunate events, we found ourselves heading out to eat. We went to the giant buffet. Which on some level, always makes me a little sad. But the kids eat food when we're there. And that's a really important part of going out to eat. While we were there, Natalie decided she needed to find the restroom. And Ella decided that she needed to be the one to take her. Okay then. So Ella gets a gold star for the day. And also my undying gratitude.

All of these things are making the prolonged winter seem a little easier. I'll see green again. Someday.

I can't handle all this excitement

Last night we sent the girls down to clean the playroom. It's something that pretty much always needs to be done. After a while Natalie burst upstairs, FREAKING OUT. I have never seen her like that. "This is so BAD! I'm going to be in TROUBLE! I don't think we can get it out! I don't want to tell you!"

What on earth is going on???

"There's a bead UP MY NOSE." I took her in the bathroom and peered up her nostril, thinking I'd just grab a tweezers and pull that puppy out, and it was so far up I couldn't even see it. Ella started running around upstairs with her hands on her head "I AM SO WORRIED!" I took Ella downstairs to show me what the bead looked like. Meanwhile, Natalie, who thought she was going to throw up, ended up blowing the bead out her nose into the toilet. Apparently my strange children had poured plastic beads all over the floor and were sticking their faces in them, until Natalie inhaled one. Good times.

Today Natalie stayed home from school, unrelated to the bead. She's had a cold or allergies that's making her cough every 15 seconds. The sun finally came out today, so we opened up all the blinds. When she walked past a window, I saw her scalp looked dark. I took a closer look, and it was purple. It looked like a horrible dark bruise or something. Or like when you wrap something around your finger and it loses circulation. I asked her if her head hurt or was itchy. She said both. So I put Zoey down and headed to webmd to prepare myself for the call to the nurses. I was about to pull up the articles on psoriasis and some kind of sarcoma and then some other things I'd never heard of but sounded very scary, when Natalie came wandering in the room.

"I think I know why my head is purple."

"Really? Why?"

"It's sand."

"What?"

"It's sand."

"Wait, do you have purple sand at school?"

"Yes."

"And it got in your HAIR?"

"I think so. I told S. not to throw it, but she still did."

So I checked her head again, and sure enough. It wipes off. Because it's sand.

Can you imagine where this story almost went? I almost called a nurse hotline and told them my child had a purple, bruised looking scalp. At which point they would, no doubt, have told me to head straight to the ER, DO NOT PASS GO. Where a doctor would have looked at her head, and said, "She has colored sand in her hair. I prescribe a SHOWER for her problem."

And then I would have actually died from embarrassment. But at least I'd already be in the ER.