Just put me back together when the day is over.

Hi. My children nearly destroyed me today. First my head, then my heart.

We didn't even make it home from the bus stop before Natalie broke down crying that she needed to be carried. Then they started fighting. First Ella threw a fit that she wanted to play chutes & ladders, and Natalie wouldn't play with her. Their job after school today was to clean the kitchen floor. They cried over who got to use the broom vac. Crying. Crying. More crying.

Natalie has been going through an unpleasant phase. She's been thinking of all kinds of horrible things. Last week she said, "Mama, you know what would be bad? What if I got hit by a car." Tonight she was getting her jammies on, and she said, "Mama, I just thought of something bad..." and she started bawling. "I thought of what if there was a fire, and I didn't hear the fire alarm, and my leg caught on fire, and the doctor had to cut it off..." WHAT?? Where does that even come from? She was beside herself. Completely scared that this was really going to happen.

I want to promise her that nothing will ever happen to her. That she will always be safe. She will never be hurt. But we're in the world. Where bad things can happen. So I can't do that. We have a fire safety talk, and we talk about how it's not very likely that we will even have a fire at all. And then her sister tells her that when she starts thinking of bad things, she just tries to think of something fun until she forgets about it, and then my older-than-her-years six-year-old starts engaging Natalie in conversation. "Natalie, tell me about school today. Did you say you're getting a frog tomorrow?"

We lay in their beds, and I rub Natalie's back and they tell each other about their days and who their friends are, and Ella keeps asking Natalie questions to keep her mind off of fires, and I forget all about the part where they fought for the title of biggest fit thrower.


Nana said...

Isn't it amazing how one minute they can have you SO amazingly frustrated and in a half an instant they say or do something that melts it all away!

southernbellewannabe said...

I love it. It's a gift that you can see the whole day from this perspective now instead of still being uptight about the fit throwing. You're a good mom!!! :)

Marylisa said...

Oh, my Natalie. I just bought myself a video and computer game for when I get the H1N1 virus.

gretchen said...

You're good. Sounds like you handled it all very well. And Ella sounds like a good sister!